I Decided To FORGIVE Myself & This Happened...

0:00- For any of you who have regrets about the past, you did the best you could with who you were and what you knew. Meaning if you could rewind time. 'Cause people say, if I could only go back in time. You know what you would do? The exact same thing. 'Cause it was the best option. There's not a single point in your life

0:18where you will not pick the best option. Ever. Now when I say this, people are like, well no, sometimes I do. You know, in my past I had a cigarette and I knew it wasn't the best option. Now here it gets subtle, meaning sure it's not great, but it was still the best option. Meaning why did you pick the cigarette or self-sabotage

0:40or destroy something? Or even consciously you're like, this is not good but I'm doing it. It's 'cause it was still the best option in contrast to something far worse. So if I asked you right now, do you wanna cut your hand off or your arm? What do you want? Hand or arm, pick. It's a simple choice.

1:00- Hands. - Yeah. That's the cigarette. It's still, the hand is still the best option if you have to choose between the hand or your arm. No? So that's the thing. I wanna smoke, I wanna smoke. I don't like what I'm feeling. It's so, it's so unbearable. I'm gonna smoke. Well it's still the best option. If a part of you thinks that feeling

1:20what you're feeling is worse. And that's with everything we do. At any point in time we always pick what's best. Now in hindsight, looking back, maybe you made a mistake and you're like, why did I do that? But you only knew it was a mistake after the fact. Before that you always thought, here's what I think is the best option. So you cannot judge and criticize younger versions of you

1:46for not knowing any better 'cause they didn't. What you're doing, if you're doing that, is you're projecting your current mindset into younger versions of you. Based on what I know now, why did younger me do that? Well, younger you didn't know what you know now. And that's an unfair comparison. That's an unfair judgment.

2:04You can't do that. Now that doesn't mean approving of what younger you did. You can of course learn and say, oh that was a mistake, let's do better. But I'm not gonna self-attack saying I should have known better. You couldn't have, it's impossible. The same with things that are out of your control. Why did this person do that?

2:23There's nothing you could have done. It's outta your control. It's an unfair comparison. What if life was actually on my side? And you realize that a lot of the circumstances that don't go your way where you feel sad or you feel depressed underlying it all, it's because you think life is out to get you. You think you are against life and life is picking you

2:44and targeting you. And you throw a tantrum the same way a child does when they don't get what they want for dinner. Guess what? If you take a child and you ask that child like, bring both my daughters up. What do you want to eat for dinner? My eldest, first thing I would say is cheese quesadilla. Number one thing, they might be into mac

3:06and cheese and stuff like fast food. I remember myself like I want chicken nuggets and ice cream as a kid. That was the plan that I had for myself when I was a child. Now what would happen if I would eat that at every lunch, every dinner, every breakfast for the rest of my life? Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, ice cream,

3:25french fries, what would happen? Not good. So what happens? Your parents come in enough with the mac and cheese and french fries. Eat your broccoli. What does a kid do? I don't want the broccoli. They throw a tantrum 'cause it doesn't go aligned with their plan. All of you here, myself included, we have a plan.

3:51We think we know what is best for us. Here's where I want to go. Here's what I think would be good for me. The direction of my life. What is a life crisis when things don't go according to your plan? But what if, just what if, that was life feeding you broccoli. (audience laughing) So whenever something doesn't go your way, how do you know

4:15your way is the best way? And reflect on how ignorant you are. How little you know, yet you think you know the best life action, like course is for you? What? So be open. Then beyond that, think of this saying blessings come in disguise. Maybe that's just an American thing. You've heard that before. Blessing in disguise.

4:38Maybe there's a German version blessing in, I dunno. But the saying is, blessings come wearing a disguise. Meaning you don't see it at first. You see it after the fact. Understanding that saying though, what does it mean? If you want a blessing, you must let it come to you in disguise. What's the disguise? Adversity.

4:58Hard times. If you push away hard times all the time you're pushing away the blessing. No. If hard times come, what if that's just the disguise. Look for the blessing. What is there to learn? What's the message? The same when someone or something triggers you. We focus on the person or thing that triggers us.

5:19Look for the message. What's getting triggered? How can I use this and let go of this or grow or ultimately get better, not bitter? And that's the thing too. With any situation, you can always get better or bitter. And the ultimate question is, how are you gonna live your life so that on your deathbed, there are no regrets? This is why personally, myself,

5:40I do a death meditation once a month. It sounds super dark, but I sing into the perspective that I died, once a month. And from that perspective I reflect on my life, on the things I did, didn't do on my goals. And it brings up so much authentic data, but it realigns me with reality.

5:56Meaning none of us get out of here alive. We all die. Whatever you're chasing, whatever you're hoping for, whatever you're hanging onto, whatever your ego is hanging onto, the story of you, it's not gonna survive. You're gonna die. You can't take any of this with you. The money, the approval, the success, your reputation,

6:16your legacy, your family, your kids, they die too. Everyone dies. In the end, the question is, you're here till you die. How are you gonna spend that time in the most fulfilling way? And when this really clicks, what drives you is the experience, ultimately the impact, the producing, not the outcome. You stop hanging on to things. And the best way to view it is to

6:44compare it to a video game. How do most people live their lives? Imagine real life was a video game. How insane would most people look like to you? Someone comes up to you, it's like I'm playing this video game. Look how much money I have in the game everyone. What would you say? Like imagine, I started this live event.

7:02I'm like, hey, welcome everyone. Alright, it's a good day today. Check this out. My character just leveled up to level nine. This means you're gonna get a level nine seminar tonight. Woo-hoo-hoo. I hope you're excited. And not just that, but look how much money I accumulated in this game. I went to to break a lot of rocks in the corner of the map

7:27and I collected a lot of gold. Whew, I feel good. What would y'all say? What the fuck Julian? Where are we? Good for you. I gotta go. What if tomorrow I show up and I'm like everyone, it's been a hard day. I know what it's like going through hard times, dark times. My character leveled down to level eight in the game.

7:59And all that money I collected, I lost it. I know what it's like. What would y'all say? It's a video game. (audience chuckling) Yet, that's how we spend our lives, no? Anyone feel more enhanced by how much money they have? Be honest. Really? None of you like if you won the lottery now, you wouldn't feel better?

8:28Hey, it's the same here. Oh, I made a thousand bucks in the video game. I'm a better person. Doesn't matter. Hey, everyone loves me in this video game. My, I'm playing the Sims and all my neighbors. It's like 10 outta 10 approval. (audience laughing) You'd be like, okay. Yet that's how we live. Ultimately way to live life is, imagine if life were a video game and at the end you had to return the game

9:01and say you returned it, so you're dead now. And you retain, turn the game to God, the universe, whatever. If you're nihilist's, nothing, just you return it. But imagine there was a person there who you return the game of life to and they were to ask you, so you're dead now. So you return it.

9:15And they ask you, so how did you play the game of life? What did you think? What would your response be? Would you be someone who's like, well I collected a lot of money in it, right? If you're playing like "GTA", "Grant Theft Auto", it's like I did a lot of the taxi cab missions nonstop.

9:34Like, oh okay. Like that's the saddest answer ever. It's like, did you have fun? No. But I would wake up early and do those taxi cabs nonstop. You're like, Ugh. Oh, I played it really safe. You know I held back, it's like, no. Ultimately what brings you joy out of it? A video game is like the experience. The same with life. If none of this matters,

9:55'cause in the end you die, why not play for the experience? And then here's the thing. On a deeper level, when you stop trying to find yourself in the game of life, it's ultimately what I call putting the finish line behind you. Meaning most of us are trying to reach the finish line. Even in the self-help spiritual world is when

10:14will I be enough? When will I make it? When will I be successful? And you're chasing, you're chasing. You're justifying your existence. Did I make enough money now everyone? Am I good? Am I good looking enough now? Am I worthy? Screw that. Live. Stop justifying your existence, live. You weren't born to justify it,

10:34but what if you were to place the finish line behind you? What if instead of trying to be good enough, you were good enough? Now people get freaked out there 'cause they're like, well then I wouldn't be motivated. But that's not true. 'Cause you're still here till you die. So the logic is flawed.

10:50It's not like everyone I realized I'm good enough. Whew, I'm a 100% good enough. And you just sit down. Ah, I'm good enough. Many years to go till death. (audience laughing) And you're just sitting there waiting to die. No, you'd still partake in this world, but it'd be coming from a different place. Same here. Still take action.

11:17Still go for your dreams, go for the experiences. Live some crazy life for you. But do it for the experience, not for what it says about you. That's how you play a video game. And here's the thing, do you enjoy if you play, any of you are into video games, do you enjoy level one less than level 10?

11:36Or does every level just add to the enjoyment? Every level, you're playing this game. It's like level one's great, level two's great. It's not like I hate this game until level 10. Same with life. And is your character level's up too? Oh my character is level two. Is it a better character, yes or no?

11:55Character, yes. Are you a better person? You're still you. So ultimately in life, we got too sucked into the first person perspective. Like playing a video game, we're viewing it through the character. Zoom out to the third person. Now don't disconnect completely 'cause you are still the character. I'm still Julian, this is me.

12:15This is my character, but my self-worth isn't found in this. It's found in the player. So your self-worth is grounded in the player. The experience is grounded in the game, in your avatar. So you don't disown each side. You're both. And then live the game. Why? For the experience. That's the only reason. And when you do realize

12:35that you are good enough, what motivates you? One, the experience and two being of service. Why? 'Cause you have everything you hope, your ego, you have everything your ego wanted. Like all of you, if you'd be like you're great. Does not enhance me. If all of you're like you suck, doesn't diminish me. So I have zero motivation to chase your approval.

12:57So why do I do what I do? 'Cause it makes me feel good. The only reason, being brutally honest, I help people is for me. If helping you did not make me feel good, fuck all of you. For real. Same with you and your purpose. Don't make it about other people. It's about you.

13:15What makes you feel good? Not good in an egoic taking sense, but it's like presents. Imagine you had all the presents in the world. You can't get anything new. You have it all. Even if someone give you present, you're like, I already have it. What would make you feel good? Giving. Same with you and your self worth.

13:33Stop trying to find, am I good enough? Am I? You are. Now what? While I'm still here till I die, I might as well give, be of service. That's what enhances my experience of being alive. Helping people makes me feel great. Makes me feel better than not helping people. So I help people, but in the end, the only reason is

13:52for my experience being alive. 'Cause I know I will be dead. And when I die I want to look back at my life and be like, yes, I lived it on my terms, not in reaction. And I lived the experience I wanted and I created my life in a way where it's the movie

14:04that I wanted to live. Now what you just watched here is just a small piece of a larger system and process. So what you want to do now is click this video here to see exactly what I'm talking about and how it all fits together.