How to Actually Network in 2025 (The New Way People Really Get Hired)

0:00If just the thought of networking makes you feel absolutely sick to your stomach, or it feels like every single time you reach out to someone to have a career conversation, you're getting ghosted, you are not alone. But I have good news. By the end of this video, you're going to know exactly how you

0:13need to be networking in 2025 and 2026. A to not hate yourself, but b to actually get results, which for me means getting paid and getting hired. Hello, my name is Emily Durham. I'm an internationally recognized careers coach and the host of Clock In with Emily Durham, a podcast dedicated to helping you thrive in your 9 to5 and beyond. And if you're into content that helps you get ahead and get paid without feeling pretentious and difficult, please consider subscribing. If you've been here for a minute, you know I like to jump right on into things. So, let's cut the Breaking news. Things have changed. We all know this. The job market is an

0:47absolute dumpster fire. And because there are so many more job seekers than jobs available, we are not able to network the same way. 5 years ago, if you sent out a bunch of LinkedIn messages to recruiters, chances are about 50% of them would have responded. You probably would have had a career conversation with them, asked some questions, and by the end of it, you might have had a referral, a connection, someone to help you get ahead. But studies show in North America, there are currently three job seekers for every one job available. Before I give you the steps, I need you to change your mindset. Because if you walk into this

1:19exercise and networking with a gray cloud over your head and a stank ass attitude, I'm so sorry, you are not going to get results. People will feel that. The reason most people hate networking is because traditional networking feels transactional. You formally reach out for a conversation. You ask a couple of questions about their career and then at the end you ask

1:40for your favor. Maybe it's a referral. Maybe it's are you hiring? And the entire time it feels like you're reading off of a script and asking for favors. It's uncomfortable. But the new model of networking, the way that's actually going to work is focusing on relationship building. Your new focus needs to be on building community and then asking for favors. So here's what you need to stop doing in order to start

2:02doing the right things. Stop mass reaching out to people on LinkedIn that you haven't even met asking for referrals. It is not going to work. Stop reaching out to people saying that you're looking for a job and looking for referrals. They're not going to want to help you. And above all, you have to stop reaching out to recruiters because they are not responding. Welcome to the new rules of what we're going to

2:23do. There are two main ways to network. One of which is online with strangers and the other is in person. Let's start with online. Step one, before we even get into the networking, we're going to need a little bit of foreplay. I need you updating your LinkedIn profile. If you don't know how to do that, watch this video. And I need you buttering people up before we get to the stage of asking to have a conversation with them and actually networking. This starts with identifying

2:48the companies that you want to work at. Maybe make a list of 30. And then look up people who are currently in the job that you want. Maybe that's finance specialist, marketing manager, as well as people who occupy their manager's titles. So if it was a finance analyst, look for a finance manager. If it was a marketing manager, look for a senior marketing manager working at that company. Try to connect with those people on LinkedIn or follow them if that's a feature they've turned on. And for the next month, I want you interacting with their posts, not in a weird super fan way, but when they post

3:19something, like it comment, "Oh, that was interesting." Try to do this one to two times a week for the next 5 weeks. And the reason this works is because the marketing rule of sevens. I talk about this all the time on my podcast cuz I think so much of the job search is rooted in marketing. But on average, it takes a person seven interactions with a product before they decide if they're going to purchase it. And you, as a candidate, are the same thing. The more times someone is going to see your name pop up on their LinkedIn page, the more familiar you're going to become. So, in

3:49about a month's time, when you reach out and ask for that career conversation, you don't feel quite as much like a stranger, and it's more likely you're actually going to get airtime with them. After you've fooled around a little bit, I want you to reach out and send a message exactly like this. I'm literally going to leave this on the screen so you can screenshot and then copy and paste it. Maybe you can enjoy my good side as we do it. Do we think I should cut a bob? Now, are you going to have a 100% response rate? Of course not. But because you're not wasting your time

4:16with the recruiters and you're fooling around a little bit up top, you're more likely to get those responses. The old way of networking would tell you that you should go to career fairs and large scale networking events. To which I say, waste of your time. a waste of your time. Like I said, there are so many job seekers, okay? These events are oversaturated. There are thousands of people looking for work. Focus on niche industry specific events. Okay? You work

4:44in technology. You live in Toronto. Start going to tech to events. Find women in STEM events. Pretty easy to do this. Ask Copilot, hey, what are some industry specific events in my city? They're really easy to find on Eventbrite, on Facebook, lots of those. Join a community. Go to those events that's smaller scale, higher touch,

5:04guaranteed to get you better results. You'd be surprised how many companies, especially in tech and consulting, do in-house events, meaning the company itself hosts events and it's open to the public. Another great way to meet people on a smaller scale. Unlike LinkedIn, you don't have the luxury of crafting the perfect message before you send it. You actually need to go interact with that stranger in order to hopefully get them into your networking roster. Talking to

5:27strangers is absolutely terrifying. whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. I do this professionally and I still get a little bit nervous, but there are little tricks that you can adopt to make things a little bit easier. And the first is bring a friend. If you're going to an in-person event, literally bring a plus one. It can make things a lot less anxietyinducing. Be the first to start conversations. I find networking can be very difficult when you're waiting for people to approach you. But putting yourself in the driver's seat, initiating the conversation, makes you come across so much more confident yields better results and also gives you the control

6:00to set the conversation tone. When you get to an event, scan the room, look for people's body language. If someone's in a conversation and their eyes are wandering, their body language is open, meaning that their shoulders are maybe turning, they're not arms crossed, they're not locked in with that person, that's usually a sign they're subconsciously open to a new interaction. Don't go jumping into that convo being like, "Hey, want to TALK TO

6:21ME? HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?" NO. Start every single conversation with a question or a compliment. So, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to ask, did you go to that tech session earlier? Did you have any thoughts? Sorry to interrupt. I have to say, I love your blazer. Where did you get it? And then we start the dance cuz really a good conversation, it's just a little tango giving Alex Earl on Dancing with the Stars. After

6:42they respond, you introduce yourself. That will automatically prompt them to introduce themselves. Ask them an open-ended question. Prepare in advance, but I personally like something that is specific to the event or space that you're at. They're going to respond. And then you either affirm what they say by saying, "Oh, that's really interesting. Tell me more. Oh, I've never thought of that." Or, "Oh, I totally agree." Or you follow up with a follow-up question. And then you plan your exit because the best thing you can do is leave before you've overstayed your welcome. It was so good talking to you. I actually see someone I

7:11know over there. I want to go say hi. but I would love to connect on LinkedIn if you're comfortable and if you're open to it, I'd love to grab a coffee if we're ever available. And the next day, you're going to send out messages that say this. So, at this stage, whether you're networking in person or online,

7:25it is time for your conversation. Remember, this is not a transaction. This is relationship building. So, don't think you need to overprepare. The idea is that you should still be yourself no matter what. Send a calendar hold, an actual calendar invitation. You make the title career chat with. Put your full name. Hyperlink your LinkedIn into the body of that email. That gives off professional energy and book this for no more than 30 minutes. And this is the structure of your call. You start off with hi, hello, how are you? They'll answer. You answer back. Thank them for their time. This is a LinkedIn

8:00connection and you haven't met before. Start off by introducing yourself and do not include that you are looking for a job. Okay? Leave that out. And then you'll say, "I'd love to hear a bit about you and your career. I find you so interesting based on what I learned at the event or read on LinkedIn. Let them do their thing. And then you're going to

8:16have two to three questions prepared. And these can be anything, but I love asking, "What are some of the things that you've learned in this role? What made you move from company A to company B? I'm looking to grow in the space. Any advice for someone in my position?" And you'll go back and forth, have this lovely flowing conversation. You'll take some notes so you remember the things that they said to you. And at the end, you have a couple of options. If you didn't connect with this person at all or you're like, "Whoa, I don't want to work here," just say, "Thank you for your time." And that's it. But if you

8:43think this person could be potentially valuable in your job hunt or in your career in the future, like years down the line, at the end of the conversation, say thank you and have a defined call to action. Thank you so much for taking the time to connect with me today. I really enjoyed it. I'm

8:56actually considering new opportunities. So, if there's ever anything in your network or at your company, I'd love to be considered. So, just let me know. If I can send over my resume, that would be great. Or you can say something like, "I so enjoyed speaking with you. Is there anyone else in your network you think I would benefit from chatting with?" What this is doing is helping you expand your network or help you get a referral based on where you're at in the process. 24 hours after this call, you're going to send a thank you email with a specific call back to something you spoke about

9:23in the meeting. It was so great learning about how you got your masters from here. It was so good hearing about the product that you're working on. Then you're going to reiterate your call to action. As I mentioned, I would love to connect with other folks in your network. send you my resume because new school networking is an ongoing relationship building process. So, you're going to put a reminder in your calendar for every 3 weeks to engage

9:44with this person's content on LinkedIn. Check if their company is hiring or if anyone in their network is hiring per their LinkedIn interactions. And every month and a half to two months, you're going to reach out with a nice note. Hi, thinking if you saw this article that was interesting based on our chat. Hope you're doing well. Or maybe if you want to speak again, you reach out every 2

10:01months to get that conversation set up. But true true networking is ongoing relationship nurturing. Because in a year and a half when you're looking for a job, you can say, "Oh, I reached out to Susan a couple months ago, so it won't feel weird now that I'm reaching out for a referral." I do feel the need to say that there is a lot of pressure for people to be extroverted in the networking process or at work. The unfortunate truth is that extroversion and those traits tend to be rewarded in the corporate world more than I think they should be. like you being loud and boisterous and super comfortable

10:31speaking to strangers all tend to be extroverted traits and all tend to be rewarded. But if you're an introvert or someone who fundamentally hates networking, don't try to force yourself into being an extrovert. Find ways of communication that feel really good for you. If you're introverted, you might get more energy from LinkedIn networking and then phone conversations versus in-person events. And that's okay. There is no one-sizefits-all as long as you are approaching this truly from a relationship management perspective. and stepping away from that old school transactional style, you're going to get results. Networking is scary, but I fear it is a necessary evil. So, hopefully this video was helpful, helped break the

11:09ice a little bit, and gave you the push in the tush to help you get networking because mama, it's important, especially in this job market. And by the way, if you have specific questions, something that's happening in your job search, at work, with your co-workers, financially that you want objective advice on, you can actually submit your question directly to me in my podcast link that I will put in the description of this video. And I answer them every single week. And y'all, I'm so good. I always make sure at some point I have answered like almost every question, like thousands and thousands of questions cuz I post every single week and I have for

11:44almost 6 years now, which is crazy. But thank you for being here. I adore you and I'll talk to you in the next video.