Bonus! A Fireside MicroConf ROAST with Lianna Patch — MicroConf Remote

0:03hey everyone welcome to micro conf remote uh i am not your host i don't know who let me in or what i'm doing here but uh while i have you i'm going to say some weird stuff that hopefully makes you laugh while we're waiting for the speakers to come on uh so you know this is the first micro conf remote that we've ever had like other remotes you will find it incredibly useful for 10 minutes and then you'll wander away and you'll never be able to find it again it helps if you look under the cat nobody is more bummed than me that we're doing this remotely and not in beautiful

0:37minneapolis and hey why not shoot for the stars in 2021 you know instead of minneapolis let's just hold microconf in the full-size apollos another great thing about being remote this year is that you don't have to make eye contact with me if you don't want to and i know that's been a problem for some of y'all in the past so you know just just keep your eyes to yourself and we'll be fine you all know one of your hosts rob walling i assume he'll be back soon to talk to you about the show at which point he will become rob breaking the fourth walling i'm not good

1:12at photoshop but i'm great at wishing i were good at photoshop and i'm hearing word that mike tabor will also be joining us too which is great news because no one has actually seen him since microconf 2019 mike if you're watching this please call us we love you i'd like to give a quick shout out to our sponsors these are the sponsors of microconf remote i assume that they're not watching this i i'm just going to go ahead and guess that they have better things to do but thank you sponsors if you do end up seeing a clip of this on youtube now if you're not familiar with micro

1:48conf you may know that there are two tracks for the conference normally starter and growth i know it sounds like a penis enhancement webinar but i assure you we are dealing with software not hardware personally i thought they should call it noob and leet but they told me no one says that anymore so even though we can't be there with you in person we are doing everything we can to make today's conference feel as much like micro conf irl as possible so in the past we've held micro conf in beautiful las vegas nevada at the tropicana hotel which hasn't been updated since it was built in 1971. if you love brown carpet and

2:28cigarettes this is the hotel for you to help you replicate the experience of being at the tropicana i'd love if everyone could just take a second to adjust your thermostat to 145 degrees in the meantime i'll be playing a soothing background soundtrack of casino noises ice scooping and functional alcoholism it's like we're really there now if you really want to get in on the fun go ahead and order yourself a shitty personal pizza and then mommy seventy dollars finally just go ahead close your eyes inhale deeply the scent of broken dreams and imagine 200 awkward men milling around in polo shirts who needs in-person events am i right

3:24[Music] hey guys hey yeah good to see you too no i haven't been working on anything no just doing a lot of sitting at home actually yeah no just eating a lot yeah just eating just pretty much only eating i guess i play with my cats too [Music] i think i'm gonna get a snack did you guys see the latest patio 11 tweet yeah pretty good right wow this is not what i had come to expect for a micro conf and now it's time to play my favorite game where in the world is mike tabor wait a second where are all the pieces

4:23so you guys excited for the next speaker yeah yeah it's about agile yeah no actually i managed to write an entire website for her without ever learning what agile is i mean i guess like nobody really knows what agile is so and now it's time for a segment i like to call craft time with leanna that's me for this project we're going to be making our own conference lanyards you will need string any kind of string scissors index cards and a supportive partner if you'd like go ahead and print out your own hello name tag from the template that i'm not going to email you otherwise go ahead and write your name

5:10on your index card now [Music] just like this next write down something you're interested in like this [Music]

5:31next fold your card in half and cut a little circle right at the top see next take your string and measure out a length long enough to go around your neck but short enough that it won't kill you if you trip on the escalator take both ends of your string and make sure the ends are even insert the ends of your string through the hole in the front of your name tag then simply tie a knot and we're done

6:31[Music] hahaha oh my qualifications uh i think i hear my phone

6:47and now for a segment i like to call let's swat that bug

7:00there's one bug in this code can you find it i just figured i could kill a couple minutes if i put this up here and told you there was a bug [Music] hey oh my god it's so good to see you don't tell me

7:38we met at the thing right uh last year starts with an m anyway how are you what are you working on i don't know what any of that means

7:56all right micro conf that's it for me i hope you enjoyed this even if you didn't you will enjoy what's next oh wait uh there is one more thing that i need to show you and it is this photo of mike and rob wow wow somewhere an abercrombie is missing a model cool bye have fun

8:39you