Sarah Perl: Made millions. Now rewiring my life from the inside out.

0:00Sarah Pel, welcome to the show. So happy to be here. The more you focus on them, the more they focus on them. The more you focus on you, the more they focus on you. Detach. Yes. Talk to me about this. [sighs] I think in order to manifest anything in life, you have to close the distance between where you are today and who you want to become and what you want to have, right? And so all detachment really is is you embodying the version of you that already has that person, right? Or already has, you know, the millions of dollars. And so I think people complicate detachment because

0:44it's like, well, I feel so attached because I want this and I want this. But you don't ever attract what it is you want. You just attract what you are convicted is already yours. And so if you already had that person, if you already had the money that you desire, how would you feel about it? Would you be clinging on or would you feel safe to let go? And I think like that is the essence of detachment is it's who you would be if you already had it. Hm. So in relation to you know relationships you know probably the thing that people connect to a lot when

1:22you say that is more about you know going through a breakup or a heartbreak or obsessing and attaching and connecting to someone that they're not with anymore. How does that kind of apply to heartbreak and relationships? I would say on just a psychological level, anything that you chase in life runs away, right? Um if you want someone if you want someone or something to chase you, you have to create the space for it to chase you, right? You can't be chasing after it and then expect it to chase you. And so there's something so magnetic about not being needy and not gripping on, right? Um you know, gripping on doesn't make it

2:03stay. And I think this is a big concept that people struggle with is um especially people who like want to control everything in their life. Like a big part of manifestation is it's funny because in a way it's like you're trying to control your reality, but it requires like the paradox is it actually requires letting go and surrendering and trusting something other than you forces other than you to work together and conspire

2:27together to create what you want. Right? And so can you surrender? Can you let go? Can you trust that everything in the universe will conspire for this thing that you want to fall into place? I think I mean, think about it, right? Like, every time I've wanted a guy, it's like the minute I'm like obsessing over him, it's like I'm getting ghosted. And it's like the second I stop thinking about a guy is like when he's calling me. So, it's like it's a very magnetic energy to not need and not be desperate because it's centered on you. And so I really believe that the more you focus

3:02on them, the more they focus on them. And the more you focus on you, the more they focus on you. Because everything in life is a mirror. You don't change other people by changing trying to change them. You change other people by changing yourself. And as a byproduct, the entire world will reflect the version of yourself that you see yourself to be, [snorts]

3:22you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess the the part that's lighting up inside of me right now is this just concept of everything being a mirror. And so when you're chasing someone, perhaps they are feeling desired, which then even gives them this abundance view that there is so many more options out there and they don't

3:42need you. But when you detach, they don't feel loved by you. And then maybe they're even questioning, do am I admired? Am I desired? Maybe I should go back to them. M and so that's an interesting point looking at the fact of the energy that goes through and how the less you chase the more you receive.

4:04Yes. And treating everything in life as one beautiful mirror to remind you of maybe where you're lacking and what you can work on. Yes. And something I always think of when it comes to this is um like water, right? Water is, you know, H2O. And water can both be liquid and it can also be ice. It could be solid and it can also be vapor. And it's the same chemical compound just in different, you know, states, right? And so when water becomes ice, it's not that we're changing the chemical compound, we're

4:37changing the state that it exists in. And therefore, what it is and the function it serves changes. And so as humans we are the same way where it's like if you want to change the way you are perceived by the world you have to change your internal state first. Yeah. So when I was 17 I was the it was the first time I got fully exposed to this from a mentor of mine Jim Forton where he taught me be do have and and he was explaining the the power of being the person and doing the things that person does and then having that life as a byproduct. and his podcast was called

5:12Transform Your Life from the Inside Out. And I think at the time it sounded cool and a buzz word, like transform your life from the inside out. But it was crazy. The more I just started listening to it, the more I started checking in and recognizing what was operating subconsciously, that then reflected my environment and it it was the reason all of my operating systems in the back end was the reason I lived exactly how I lived. How much of do you think do you think all of this is subconscious and operating in the back end, not something

5:42that you're consciously aware of? It's all subconscious. Like it truly is all subconscious. And I think with anything in life, um, you look at everything you consciously want and then you look at the outcome of your life. I always tell people, you won't see your subconscious mind through your thoughts. You see it through the outcomes of your reality. If you're not getting the guy, if you're not getting the job, you're not going to see it by the conscious thoughts you're thinking, you're going to see it um in the sub you're you're seeing a reflection of your subconscious exerted into reality. And so the way we shift our subconscious mind is we first

6:18look at okay, what in my life is going wrong? And you look at these problems and you realize, okay, something in my subconscious mind is creating and attracting this energy into existence. And that's why so often we might consciously desire millions of dollars. We might consciously desire to have the love of our life and yet everything we want is slipping away the second we get it and attain it because subconsciously

6:44you don't feel safe to receive it. Right? And if the subconscious mind all your entire subconscious mind's only job is to keep you safe, it does not matter what you want. If it does not feel safe, the subconscious like it's a survival mechanism. It's why you're here today. You know, years and years of evolution is going to overpower your desire for, you know, social media fame. Okay? And so, we need to start there and understand what is powering my subconscious mind. What is the literal operating system, the software that's installed in my brain that is operating everything on autopilot in my life? And if you can fix that, you've created the

7:23greatest leverage that exists. Yeah, I was I was that that very mentor Jim Foron. I started talking about the be to have thing and it was me just sharing a little lesson. I never had ever spoken to this guy. I just listened to his podcast and I would I would I would just be putting it on in the car and I started speaking about it and it started going incredibly viral and all thousands of people started going and listening to his pod and they were commenting that they came from me and I get a random message from him one day and then it ended up being awesome cuz I

7:55got to work with him quite closely and and over a long period of time but that the part of his program and what I was going through he was unpacking kind of where it all stems from and he was saying like your subconscious forms your identity then Your identity creates the stories you tell yourself about your life. And then the stories that you tell yourself about your life then dictate

8:17the actions that you take in your life. And then the actions dictate your environment. And so if you are trying to just change your action, but it's being rooted by subconscious programming that's not going to get you the life you want. You're just going to end up being able to go around in circles and start there. And then you'll fade off. You won't be able to stick to habits. you won't be able to quit the smoking or quit the drinking or quit any of the lustful things that you're doing. And so then if you just unpack what's actually creating the stories you're telling yourself about you and the way you identify

8:48yourself, then you transform your life from the inside out. And it all started to make sense because then I just went, "Hang on, everything that I have in my life, I have for a reason." And being able to have that agency is quite powerful, I feel. Yes. And also understanding too like um some of the things first of all I completely agree everything starts with identity and it all starts with the self and once you really understand that you unlock everything but also I think like there's something so powerful about all the difficult things we go through and like um you know in a way it does keep

9:26your subconscious from you know potentially let's say attracting that person or uh you know manifesting the money let's say at a certain point but honestly ly you look back and you're like every single thing really does happen for a reason. I truly think the only difference between the people I meet who have everything they want and the people who don't it's it's truly never it never comes down to talent or intellect. It comes down to belief in is it possible for them? And a big part of that by the way is like normalization and does your subconscious feel that this is familiar and normal to you? You

10:04don't attract what you want and you also don't attract um even what you believe could happen. You attract what you know will happen and there's a difference. What do you know with certainty is going to manifest. That's what you're going to manifest. That's the law of assumption. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so good because just on the on the uh pod just before this, I was doing the lottery ticket exercise that I saw from the Mel Robbins one and I saw Blake Roker talking about it and and talking about how if you're imagining that $100 million was hitting your bank account and you knew it was in 30 days, for the

10:46next 30 days, how would you show up? Because you know that that's going to happen. Your actions change. You're kinder to other people. You you respect people. you don't really worry about the gas prices or all of these things, right? And so when you have a deep knowing that you are going to achieve something great, a byproduct is is time's just catching up because you just start showing up as that person and you start being the person that's worthy of attracting and

11:13obtaining all of those things. Yes. And I view it so much like orbits. Like I always kind of view life as like it's um it's hard to like maybe if you can imagine different orbits, right? It's like when you embody the frequency of the version of you who already has it, you tap into a new orbit with new people, new experiences, new environments. And when you're operating from this new orbit, everything that you're attracting is completely different. And I don't know if you noticed, but like it's as soon as I like decide, right, I make that decision and I'm fully certain like I will hit a

11:46million followers. I will build a really successful tech tech company. The minute I make that internal decision, the right people start to show up. Suddenly, I'm at the right place at the right time because I'm in a new orbit. And so often, you know, people are so attached to the how. They're like, I want this, but how do I get this? And that's your biggest limiting belief. The how is your biggest limiting belief? Because the difference between um goal setting and manifestation is the is manifestation trusts in the divine. It trusts in the universe. It trusts in other things conspiring to work together to make this

12:25happen for you simply because you shifted your internal state. Right? And so, um, I truly believe with everything in me that the minute you fully decide and are convicted that something is yours, everything in the universe will conspire to make it happen. The right people will show up, the right opportunities, things will like miracles, miracles will happen. and come

12:49together to make this happen for you. And so many of the things I have in my life, maybe you relate. Like I didn't work for like obviously I I've worked for everything I have, but so many things just align so perfectly and so coincidentally that the only thing I can, you know, trace it all back to is the fact that I made that decision and I was operating from that frequency. And because I had that identity, I decided to go to that place or I decided to go to that coffee shop and then I met that per you know what I'm saying? And so everything it's like we're operating

13:20with that within that frequency. Within that orbit is where everything you want exists. You don't have to know how. You just have to enter the orbit. I've been helping people grow their podcast now for over a year and it keeps going from strength to strength to the point where I genuinely feel I've cracked the code. And as I'm recording here in New York City after a massive recording block, I look at my phone and one of my clients, Billy, is just hit 100,000 followers. on his podcast. We started his show only four months ago and fast forward to now over 50 million views and 100,000 followers. His whole life has

13:58completely changed. Now, I'm not saying that if we worked together, we can replicate this. But what I am saying is that when you plug your skill sets, your mission, your passion, the things that you really want to talk about into a system that's proven from people that are actually walking the walk, you fast track the journey and achieve the results that you want a whole lot quicker than you ever could alone. This is why I created Pod Pro. But what I've even done on top of this is I've constilled all of the information that Billy learned and a lot of the secrets to success and building a successful

14:32podcast into a free podcast toolkit. This will walk you through everything that you need to know to build a successful show in 2026. If you go to www.thepodpro.com/toolkit and put your details in, you can get your copy completely free. The only podcast toolkit you will ever need. Let's get right back to the show. [snorts] Yeah, it's there's something powerful about burning all the other boats because there's no other option. So, you just decide, you know, because like when you're when you've when you get to the island and then you have like a a raft that can make you hop back on and go back to the

15:10other island that you were just on. Then when it gets hard on that island, and when it gets challenging on that island, you just hop on the boat and go back to the island that you left for a reason, but now you're going back to it because it's hard or the universe is against me or God doesn't love me or

15:29whatever it is. Like, no, you just quit. Like, you just quit. So the burning of the boats makes you decide because you go, "Well, I actually don't have another option." So, so let's just buckle in here and keep going. So perhaps when we unpack manifesting, and this is cool. I'm just exploring all this what I do on my show. I just like to explore and learn. But but perhaps when we unpack manifesting again, it's this nature of going like it's going to happen because there's

15:59actually no other option of it happen. So, so what happens is then you just go, "Oh, wow." Okay. Like if it's no other option, then anything that's not serving me to get there, I need to unpack and eliminate. Or anything that kind of takes me away from that mission, well, I'm not going to be able to live the

16:17life I want to live if I don't do that. So, I've got to change it. And you just start changing it to the po to the point where you form the identity and the actions and the stories of one that is obtaining are worthy of obtaining the things that you want and the life that you want or the car or the house or the business or the partner or whatever it is. Especially I feel like men we hear women talk about manifesting and you go that's just a copout. You're doing no work. But I actually think when I when I unpack it more and more and the more I

16:46learn about it myself and realize the power of it, it's actually giving you clarity on what to work on and it's giving you clarity on the actions to take in order to get there because you're so sure that you're doing the right things. Yes. It's like a laser focus. It gives you the direct like I feel like with manifesting all it does is it just highlights everything you need to do because you're listening to your intuition and your intuition is the source of everything. I really believe that like our biggest obstacle is the fact that we think we consciously know how to get to what we want

17:22like through conscious thinking. And I think if you already knew, you'd probably already have it. And if you don't know, then when you surrender to your intuition, which is your divine intelligence, right, that again is like evolutionarily built into you and programmed into you, that is where the magic really comes in is when you're moving purely off your intuition and off of faith. Like do you are you willing to take the leap of faith and know that like you could lose everything but you're still willing to try? And I really love what you were saying about burning the boats because something I always think about is how much potential

18:02exists in you when you have no choice. Like think about all the times in your life when you had no option but to figure it out. There's this like insane uh instinct like pime like some primal I don't know something built into us where it's like if you're on an island and you're stranded and you have to find water like you'll figure out a way you're going to and it unlocks this like level of creativity and this level of fearlessness and this level of like you know whatever it is intellect that you don't typically ever tap into but you're simply tapped into it because you've decided you have to and there's no other

18:41choice. And so often in life, we exist in this comfortable state where we never tap into this like 1%, you know, like insane, like locked in or like whatever this superpower, right, of like survival instinct. But it doesn't have to come from a state of fight or flight. It can come from a state of pleasure, too. But you tap into this like 1% energy that you never tap into. And that is the like the 1% that'll get you everything you want. Like how much is in you that you still haven't tapped into because there's a way out,

19:15you know? Yeah. And how much do you think comes down to the childhood and how we were influenced back as a kid? Because obviously you came to America quite young and you, you know, didn't experience wealth growing up and you kind of had a completely different experience back then to what you are right now. Do you think that there's certain things that drove you as a kid that maybe have

19:42shaped you to who you are today? 100%. For good or for worse, too, right? Um or just for is for whatever it like better or worse. If it's not even right or wrong, it just shaped you to who you are. It 100% did. And you know, I often ask myself like, would I be where I am if I didn't go through the struggle that I went through? Um, and I think it motivated me in a lot of ways, but I also think it it also paradoxically like did hold me back. Um, because it was so subconsciously limiting like to the whole thing that we're talking about. Um, money for

20:20example like never felt normal to me. And when something doesn't feel normal to you, that becomes the identity from which you're operating from. It defines like the risks that you're willing to take. It defines the people you're willing to meet that you even feel worthy of being in the same room as, right? And so I think like the thing I envied so much about um or now in hindsight like that I envied about people who grew up with money or like loving parents is like not even the fact that they grew up having those things but they grew up with the mindset and identity that money is abundant that

20:59love is all around that they are worthy of these things. And when you have that identity you operate so differently than someone who didn't come from that. But just because you didn't come from that doesn't mean you can't completely shift your mind and you know and start thinking that way too. And that was like a big unlock for me is I thought well I'm a victim and like I'm there's just like nothing I can do. But then one day I was like no I absolutely can change my mindset. What can I do to think the way these people think? And it's like once you meet one of those people you see how

21:34confident they are. You see how much risk they take. Do you see how they're like extremely delusional? They don't think anything can go wrong. And I was like, well, that's the only difference between me and them is they just think differently because they have a different identity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess the the piece here though is when you're looking in hindsight, it's always beautiful cuz you can see all the goods and the bads and the whatifs and everything. But equally someone that maybe was brought up with I think the one I think the one that's you're worthy I think that's really powerful to be able to to be able

22:04to have but but like someone that maybe had all of the best things going for them. Maybe they don't have that drive as much as someone that's been through the pain of not having it all. I saw you say this thing. You said spite is the greatest motivation available and peace and love don't build empires. Pain does.

22:24Yeah. I believe that. so wholeheartedly. I believe spite is the greatest source of uh spiritual motivation that exists in the world and I think it is the greatest source of alchemy that so often we um we throw away because we you know we take the higher road and you know whatever and one of my hot takes is I just believe that's like wasted potential um because who you are when you operate from positive spite you like take all that energy and you're like I'm going to give myself justice it's like unbelievable Because if you don't protect yourself, cuz that's what I believe spite and revenge is, is it's

23:02self-p protection to the subconscious mind. It's saying you can do something unjust to me, but I still have the power to protect myself or fight back, right? And to make my life better. And that really trains your subconscious to believe you are powerful. And when you don't do that, what ends up happening is um you start to blame the whole world, right? when you don't, you start to assume this is how everyone is. Um, I really believe that God doesn't hate you if you're going through something really hard. He just chose you as a vessel for some larger mission that can truly only be accomplished from a place of pain. And

23:46because it's the greatest source of motivation, like when gets really hard, wanting more money is not enough, you know, and the thing that'll push you to keep going a lot of the times is survival. And you are probably brought onto this earth to fulfill some larger mission. And I really believe that the breakup that you went through, the you know traumatic childhood, all of that happened because it was required to create enough energy in you to sustain the empire that you're building. I've very rarely met someone who has a very successful empire that didn't like fuel at least part of it from a place of deep

24:31pain. Hm. Yeah. I I wonder that's an interesting term. The how spite is the greatest spiritual motivation. It's interesting like like the the spite and the pain and the challenge it kind of well it can I think you use that word too. can be the greatest spiritual motivation if you let it. Because equally as possible that you can just become more of a victim and say the world is against me and everyone else is the problem and you do that just to cope with the fact that you're not willing to own that maybe you can grow from this. And so you point outwardly, but but the moment you take

25:18spite and challenge and and point the finger back, it's the most spiritually motivating thing because you realize your growth. Yes. You start to go, "Oh, wow." Like I then overcame that. I then grew from that. And then you can look back at the old version of you and go, "Oh, wow." And then when you do it enough times, you then get presented with it and you can feel calm sooner because you know that well every other time this has transformed my life so it's probably going to transform my life again. And then perhaps that allows you to access the thing that you said that

25:51was so important more faith. Yes. Yes. Because faith isn't built just off of nothing. You have to create faith through evidence, right? enough times where you're like, "Okay, I know that when I take this leap, I'm going to be uh, you know, met with what I want on the other side." And I always remind myself, like, every day I wake up and I do this practice where I'm like, "What have I survived?" Like, I've survived enough difficult things that I know I could do anything. Like, at this point, I've been put through so much that I'm like, it's inevitable, right? But had I not gone through all of that, I

26:28don't know that I would have the confidence to believe I can create what I want to create. Right? And so confidence isn't built, you know, confidence is built through doing difficult things, achieving them, and therefore your identity becomes I'm someone who can do anything. And when you go through some difficult things like that, it it rewires your brain. Yeah. Perhaps confidence and faith have the same posture. They have the same

26:58effect. Like because when you have faith, that means you have confidence that everything's going to be okay. Yeah. And so maybe the way you show up when you have faith is the same as someone who shows up that's confident. Confident. Yep. It's the same flavor. H Yeah. See, that's fascinating cuz people people want confidence, but they aren't willing to have faith. Well, actually, now that I think about it, there is a difference because some people h there's some people who have confidence purely based off of the evidence of their life, but then there's some people have confidence because they trust the universe. You

27:36know what I mean? That's faith. And that's faith. And so, they're a little different. But can you only trust the universe when you've seen the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, show up and provide to give you the trust that there's faith. So maybe like because like say you're say you're like a little kid learning

27:55about Jesus. Like he might be like, "Yeah, like I believe in God, but but does he really have faith that like everything is going to be good?" M or have you experienced the power of God or the universe? I'm just going to use God in this reference. Have you experienced the power of God many times? And when you see all of this, you see the synchronicities, you see the greater plan enough times to go, gosh, when I'm in a challenge, like this is meant to be. Like God showed enough times now that there is there is something good going on here. M which then gives you faith or confidence

28:38that it is all going to be okay. It is interesting. I do feel like they have a similar posture. It's very similar. I would say that confidence and ego very different [snorts] because the ego is external and the confidence is an internal knowing. Like the ego is like like how good do I look and can you please remind me of how good I look? M but then but then like confidence is like no I I I look good and even if you tell me I don't I'm still going to think it right

29:08like that's like it's a knowing. Yes. It's internal versus external. And so much of manifestation is belief in something before there's evidence, right? It's um can you believe for long enough in something um when everything in your reality is showing you otherwise? And that's the hardest thing and that's why you need faith because faith gives you um you know endurance to endure through the hard things and and trust like you have to be able to trust like so much of manifestation is actually feminine energy and I think that's why so many people struggle with it especially people who come from hardship because our immediate reaction is control

29:50feels safe right control uh uh masculinity like operating from a place of masculine energy feels safe because it's in your hands. But it's also very limited. It's very limited what you can accomplish purely through your own hard work. And I think that's what people don't understand um until they they you know try manifestation because I like genuinely so much of what I have in my life was right time and place luck. It was a lot of this um a lot of something outside of hard work, right? I think that's something it's, you know, same with feminine energy. It's like feminine energy is receiving, being receptive,

30:30trusting, surrendering. And if you can't do that, then like there's so much on the other side you're missing out on. Yeah. I think one of the cool unlocks here is is the is the idea that the the feminine energy of the surrender and of the uh deep trust and kind of just like removing yourself from the steering wheel for a second and just going like no like there is a great plan going on here and I feel so convicted and I know so strongly that it's going to happen and If it doesn't happen, something

31:08greater will. If that's like the if that's the knowing, then you can show up with discernment and tap into that masculine energy of like doing um in a more clear way. I feel like I feel like maybe and that's even another hard thing for for uh people wanting to surrender to universe or God or something as a man as well because we we do have more masculine energy of it's

31:35it's a very feminine thing to do. Yeah. And so we kind of put it off and we just want to go I want to control like I want to I want to like take control of all of this. Um but then there's like this freeing nature of of letting go of that. M um and I think that's been interesting for you. I'm I'm fascinated to know like going through the childhood of more so scarce having to rewire your brain to to really start attracting you in your life. What did those initial steps look like? Like how do you how did you get to that point where you went,

32:10"Okay, I'm going to start breaking out of this and yeah, what was the kind of the turning points?" M for me I think I was just I started off like extremely in the victim mindset of the world is happening to me everything's out to get me everything you know is going wrong um I hated money I hated the concept of money I felt like I had no positive association with money the only emotion I felt and emotion in manifestation is often tied to the frequency by which we attract right the emotion I just felt constantly was fear um pain, you know, anger, resentment,

32:50and I continued to attract more of that. Like I just things were not getting better, and I kept blaming the world. And when I went to college, I was like, this was the first time in my life I was around wealthy people, which I'd never been really around before. And I was like, they think so differently. And I don't know that I can like think that way from a place of like actual tangible evidence in my life. But what if I

33:19delude myself into thinking like them? Like what would happen, right? And so for, you know, a bit of time, I was almost like roleplaying. I had this like alter ego where I was like, I'm going to play this alter ego. I'm going to think like a rich person and I'm going to see what happens. And I'm also just going to think I'm the luckiest person alive. I'm so abundant. Money is everywhere. Money is constantly finding me. It loves me. I just like I literally was completely delusional. Like any person would be

33:46like, "This is crazy." And it was immediate. Like the minute I started to tell myself, you know, the every penny I spend returns to me 10fold. I get paid to exist. Money is finding me everywhere. It was immediate. And it didn't come from directions that I ever would have expected, which is what I mean by you have to surrender and you have to be willing to let go of the how. Because when I started manifesting

34:10this, Tik Tok didn't exist at the time. The app that literally made everything possible to me didn't even exist. So if I was so focused on how, I probably would have taken some other direction. I probably would have done something else. I probably would have ended up at the same destination, but who knows how much longer and and how much less abundant, right? And so when I let go of the how and I was just like, universe, be my sugar daddy. like show me how abundant this world is and show it to me fast and I'm I'm just going to be like, you know, play hot girl energy like just like

34:40feminine energy like universe give it to me. And when I let go, it was like immediately like Tik Tok came out as an app. I felt again intuition, divine intelligence. I felt this intuitive calling to post on Tik Tok as like a joke. First video I posted went viral. Within a week, I was already getting, you know, people asking me for coaching and and all that. And it was just immediate. It was immediate. And so, um, you know, brand deals and Tik Tok creator and it was just like, oh my god, overnight my whole life changed because I wasn't, not only did I reprogram my brain, but I let every path of infinite

35:18possibility, every possibility exists in the future. the rich version of you, the poor version of you, the billionaire version of you, you know, not the billionaire version of you. Every version of you exists in the future and a certain step, a certain set of actions will lead you to that version of yourself. Are you willing to decide that reality and then let the universe show you the way there? That's all it takes, right? And so when I let go of that, how it's like it was immediate for me. Um, and I just like it's been one thing after the next of just and now I have

35:53too much evidence to deny it. I also was never really spiritual to be honest. I was not blue. Um, but I was so, you know, honestly I was so desperate that I was like, I'll try anything. I was like, let's do this little manifesting, you know, and it just worked. And then I was like, I can't deny it. Like it's just

36:11it's here. It works. It's so cool. I have a little bit of an unlock that from what you've been sharing cuz you said that the the catalyst was you got into an environment of people that were more wealthy than you and you went what's going on here and so if we actually unpack it this is really interesting for me anyway this I like to just dive deep and have little discoveries. So earlier I said that the the uh subconscious is ruled by your identity. Now your identity is made up from the stories that you tell yourself

36:50about your life. The stories that you tell yourself about your life dictate the actions that you take in your life. And then the actions that you take dictate your environment and the life you live, the things you have, all of this. Right now, in order to reprogram that and become aware that something's wrong, often times we need to break free from that environment into a new environment that has a different life. You're the some of the five people that you hang around

37:16100%. You break into a new environment, it then exposes you to maybe the problems that you've had in your old environment. So then what you do is you then assess the actions that you're taking that are different to the one that they have. And then those actions then make you question the stories you're telling yourself about your life. Then your life and the actions that you're taking and the stories that you're telling yourself about your life is then reprogramming your identity. And then you fully reprogram your subconscious mind. And then basically because you do all of that, all of it changes. And then your environment changes. Then you meet those

37:55people where they're at. And then you've got to kind of meet a new person that exposes you to another new identity. And then you kind of go again because I think when you share this right and and if that makes no sense to people then please I'm weird. Uh but when when you share this I go okay like the thing you said was that I met new people in college and I went wow they think differently. And then you went I'm going to try and think like them. But maybe it was subconscious or conscious. Maybe you didn't do that weird thing I just explained. But really, you kind of did

38:28get down to the bottom somehow. And the way you would have accessed that by would be by asking yourself a series of wise. Then you reprogrammed the bottom and then went, okay, how do they show up? What should I do? And then you just started doing all of that. And then Tik Tok came out and then you started posting the content. Then you tried this

38:44thing and then your whole life changed. And so I guess this part of me that's going in order to create a new life, we need to be exposed to what else is out there and then through that be self-aware and look within and then grow and through that we then meet that life where it's at by the actions that we're

39:02taking. Yes. Is that confusing? No. I mean, but like it that really Yes. Because at its core, I I if you like all it takes is first of all, I think it's insane when I look back how much of my life is simply due to the fact that I met someone who made me realize it's possible. Like if someone else has done it, you can do it, too. And every um you know milestone that I've hit in my businesses or what have you, it's always come as the result of like me meeting someone who has done it and me realizing it was possible. And so all you have to do to

39:42attract anything is believe and know it is yours. And so the question you should be asking yourself is what can I do to know this is possible? To know this is inevitable. That's the only question you have to ask yourself. And then it becomes clear like I need to be around people who have done it. I need to surround myself, you know, with examples or what have you, right? Because when you're around people who have done it, it becomes like it's just osmosis. Like you're like, of course, this is going to happen for me, too. And I mean really what it comes down to is like, can you

40:15adopt the identity of who you want to become? Can you close the close the gap? Cuz that's all I did is I was like, "Okay, they have it and they have this identity that is so different than my current operating system. If I can just operate like them, what's going to change in my physical reality?"

40:34And it's crazy. It is crazy. And it's really cool. I think there's there's so many different leaps that you've had in your journey that at least I've seen from afar. And I'm sure there's so many more that I haven't seen. But I just kind of see these leaps where I go, okay, you you're you're in college, you get exposed to new people, try new things on this Tik Tok thing, you start making all this money, you then launch your coaching and then you start making even more and more and more money and then you know, then you you launch the app and then it kind of goes beyond and

41:08beyond here. I guess like for you, was there any point in this journey where you went, "Oh, wow. This is getting really real. Like I've I've I've I've I've kind of reached a level I didn't really even know was possible. Yes. Um there were so many points where I felt like that I would say for me it's not that I ever thought like I never thought this was possible because by the time I got there was so normal to me and it has to feel normal to you for you to attract it. But when I look in hindsight and I think from the version of me that started all

41:42this, I don't think she ever would have thought we'd end up here, you know. Um, when I I think the version of myself that exists right now is the most surprising. Like I I genuinely am like, "Wow, this is very very real." Because, you know, manifestation is kind of like a muscle. And in order to get to the next manifestation, you kind of have to get to this step first, right? Because you create enough belief and certainty here that you're like, "Okay, now I can

42:14do the next thing." And from the vantage point of where I'm at now, I really believe that anything is possible. Like anything, especially when it comes to business and it comes to Yeah. mostly business to be honest. Like it's partially the people I'm around, right? But I think I just have this I this like unlocked recently where I was like literally I actually can create anything and like everything is possible. And also something I was going to say earlier is like do you even give yourself permission to desire the greatest things that exist on this earth? Like when you go touring apartments, are you only touring

42:53apartments in your budget or are you like letting yourself even desire something better? [snorts] And I think everything I have in life that is fantastic is like the result of me going a little above budget and being like wait what if I do want to desire the thing that feels slightly unattainable right now right like what happens if I let my mind go there what happens like what could I conceptualize like every possibility exists and so why am I limiting myself to only what I've experienced so far like truly every there does exist a version of you where you're a billionaire there exists a version of you where you have the

43:28hottest woman, you know, like every version of you exists. Why are you not desiring it? Like what part of you feels unworthy? What part of you feels it isn't possible? What is stopping you? And I think when I unlock that, I was like, I actually can desire anything [snorts] and what happens when I do like do I give myself permission to desire things that weren't promised to me in this

43:53life? Right? That was the big unlock for me. Yeah, I I think this is really great and especially like the outside of your budget thing because even if we tie it into the burning of the boats thing, when you experience something that you desire so much more, it's very hard to go back. So, you're kind of metaphorically burning the boats cuz you go, I'm not going to be satisfied with

44:19anything else. Yes. Then you're going, oh, I need to figure out how to make this work. Yes. And then you need to you need to do this and and um and and if you don't then it's like oh well I I can't really function well here and desire is or I always say excitement isn't random and desire is destiny and so if you want it and you only want it because a future version of you already has it and um like I was saying earlier like there is this um you know something within us that exists that is activated so rarely in life where it's just like I

44:52will do anything. But that doesn't have to come from a state of fight or flight. And I think so often in my life that energy of like I will give this everything or I will die trying has always come from a place of I have to in order to survive. And now in my life it comes from a place of I have to because this is my destiny and I'm owed this and I want this. And that's such a different approach but it's the same uh fuel, right? M and it's so powerful when you're like this is happening and there's no other

45:22option. It's insane. I'm going to share one concern that I that I feel when it comes to this ideology because I resonate with it quite a lot and I think a lot of high achievers actually do that have achieved a lot of stuff as well because they have had enough points where they've been gifted faith and gifted confidence because of the experiences and the challenges that they've had. [gasps] The the challenge and the and the problem I see that can be faced is that what you have right now is never enough and that you constantly have to climb a ladder and you get to the top of a mountain and

46:02it lasts seconds because you're already looking up at another peak and going, "Oh, I need to get there." And while the manifesting and the confidence and the faith will give you the belief that it's possible, I do really think it's important to understand the sacrifice that comes with the action that you're going to need to take cuz a big big part of manifesting

46:26is the action, right? [snorts] So just being aware of what sacrifice you need to take in order to make those actions and then determine if it's worth it to get to the top of another mountaintop and is the feeling you're going to get at the top of that or the fulfillment you're going to get at the top of that mountain the thing that actually is going to solve all of your problems. Probably not. M and I do think that there is a a a fundamental issue and I don't want to say issue or problem. I don't really like that energy or language that comes with that. But I

47:02do see that there is a fascinating thing that people get stuck in where they're on a goose chase that actually never ends. They are constantly chasing the next thing and they're never happy where they are right now. And and you know, I do feel this quite strongly when it comes to money because the more you obtain

47:19money, the less utility it has. Like once you start solving all of your problems and money doesn't really change your life anymore, the more you make, the less you're going to feel. So if your primary goal in manifesting and achieving this life is making more money, the more shekels you make, the less valuable they're going to feel per

47:38shekele. Yeah. So then it's going to feel very hollow if your pursuit and your value and your meaning comes from something that diminishes in value the more you obtain. It's a very slippery pursuit. And I think there's a lot of pillars in life that that we constantly chase things for the sake of chasing them, not realizing that maybe the prize isn't something that we actually want or will change our life. Do you see that there's some there's some challenge or some difficulty with a high achieving mind and an abundant mind that makes you feel like you constantly need more just because you can and you're capable of it

48:16and you're deserving of it and all of the things 100%. You know, the most depressed I had ever felt um there were like two occasions. One of them was actually when I crossed like a massive milestone in my business and it was like I mean for me growing up with nothing I was like this is a sign that I made it and like this is everything I've been working towards and I accomplished it at such a young age and I remember waking up and I was like what is the meaning of life? Like I've gotten here and like what am I supposed to do? Like this is what I've

48:47been chasing all this time and like it's here and I don't know what's next. And I realized that, you know, the basically what we're always desiring and chasing and manifesting, it isn't so much a physical thing as it is the feeling. Like we're chasing a feeling, right? And I wanted this feeling of security for so long. And I had to realize like now that I have security, I have to pursue something else. And so then it became purpose. Like that's the new, you know, mountain I'm going to climb. And it's like the myth of Seisphus, you know, but I do believe as high achievers, it's like we do always have to grow or else

49:25we're dying. Like if there is no growth, then why am I here? And I think it's antihuman a little bit in my opinion to not create, you know, like why am I here? Someone else could be here creating and if I'm not creating, you know, and it doesn't have to come from this place of like I have to hustle and I have to have money. That's very ego- driven. But to create something that like truly changes the world, that impacts people to me is now the fuel that you know motivates everything. Like what was motivating to me then is not what is motivating me now. And and it

50:00doesn't even work anymore. Like I just I don't care. Like I wish there was once a time where this was the most motivating thing in the world was to make more money and now I'm just turning things, you know, it's just not motivational enough. And so um you know there's that piece and I think you know on the flip side of it I also think that I see this from the top how this can become a problem but I see from the bottom too how this is something that people aren't ever given permission. Like I I remember so clearly in my life, you know, I was

50:32looking and this is such a dumb example, but I'd be in college and I'd see these kids wearing like Canada Goose jackets and I was like, "Wow, it's like a $1,000 jacket." And I never I like hated them for it and I I hated the concept but deeply I think I desired it. I was wearing like this shitty coat. I was

50:48freezing in the you know Boston winter. I was like why didn't I allow myself to want this? Because deep down I didn't believe I could ever attain it. And so like I created this mental distance to not make myself sad. I was like oh you know I can't have it. And you know you're creating all these excuses. And so I think from the bottom like there's all these different you know stages of life when you're in a place where you don't want to be like where are you denying yourself more. I didn't even think the like genuinely I did not think the life I have today was physically

51:22possible in this lifetime to attain. I would have never woken up and been like I want this and therefore I'm going to go after it. Right? And I think that's so sad because so often people are existing in a state of contentment, not knowing something better can exist and they're deluding themselves and lying and believing this is all I can ever have. And so there is that one piece and then there is also the piece of like what is actually fueling you know what is deeply fueling you and what is the feeling you actually want in this life and um yeah I mean that has changed a lot. So,

51:59it's interesting. Yeah. I I think maybe what it comes down to then is is awareness of why and what you're doing cuz when you're starting out, use that fuel and build something, right? And then I think ultimately, right, like I I like to look at billionaires and old people a lot. Yeah. I like to look at billionaires because they've achieved what a lot of us are chasing. It doesn't mean billionaire status, but they have 10 cars and a jet

52:28and all the things. Um, and then also old people because they've they want what we have, which is time. And so old people you learn a lot from, at least I learn a lot from, because I look at their they get to look back at their life and think about all the things they wish

52:48they did. And you also get to look at old people and see how they spend their days. Because if you see old people how they spend their days, they don't care about what other people are thinking. They don't care about all of this stuff that we consume ourselves with. Like they they're actually quite present. And um and I I just find joy in that because you know they've exhausted a lot of the desires in both of those parties because the billionaires have achieved everything and they realize it's not the thing that's going to make them happy or fulfilled or whatever it is. And the old people have gotten to

53:27the late in their life. And when I observe the two, there's actually another common denominator in the both of them. If you ever had grandparents, you see what they do? They just give to their kids and their grandkids. They just serve. That's all they care about. And then you look at billionaires. You look at Tony Robbins who's made all the money in the world and now all he wants

53:49to do is just feed people and give. When you've exhausted all of the desires that society places on us of all of the external material things and you exhaust those desires, the only thing that makes you feel greater than that is like service and impact. And so then I look at this and I just go, I think when you're starting out, like build a life for yourself. It's great. Like I I truly think like money does make your life fundamentally far greater. I hate these people that say it doesn't. It's it's awesome. Um but but if you can just have awareness on why you're doing it cuz if you're just making money for

54:29money sake and you're going from 20 million to 80 million or whatever it is right for the sake of it and in the pursuit of doing that you're just sacrificing your presence your enjoyment your the the peace in the journey and everything then I feel like there's something deeper driving that and it's actually not what you actually want. Um, and I I learn that through old people and rich people because I find that that they seem to like be focusing on completely different things that than than what we are. I don't know if that's better or worse, but I do find inspiration from looking at those

55:04people. I really view it like this is the game of life. Like I think I stopped viewing things as like I want this and I want that and just like I want to fully experience life. I want to experience love and I want to experience heartbreak. I want to experience poverty and richness and like it's just like that is the whole meaning is like to experience every like everything and um I think that's what that's what you realize on the other side and it's so sad because sometimes it really just takes like you have to make all the money to realize you never wanted it and

55:34then you have to like you know get the hot girl to realize you didn't want her and like you know sometimes you can only see things in hindsight but I agree and I think we really are the other realization I've had in life is like we already are what we Not like you want to be wealthy but you are wealthy. Like

55:49look at everything you have in life. Look at the people in your life. Look at the fact that like everything's perspective and everything is relative. Like to a person you know in another country you are the wealthiest person on earth. And when you the only way that you can actually attract anything in life is through the understanding that you already have what you want. When you operate from the frequency of abundance and the frequency of wealth, you will attract more wealth. When you operate from a place of love is when you're going to attract more love. And that's why so often people don't get what they

56:20want is because they operate from lack. But it's you already have it. And that's why when you're at the top, it doesn't feel satisfying because you don't realize you you you've been you've had it all along. You've had it all along. Yeah. It's not something new. Do you feel like there's a challenge being a woman in business? I've heard you talk a lot about you think the future of tech and Silicon Valley and business is is women. Um, is there a challenge and maybe let's flip it from being an external challenge of like people not respecting you or not being able to get investors respect or

56:54whatever it is and and maybe let's flip it to like an internal challenge. Is there any challenge internally by being a woman in business? And do you ever feel pulled in different directions on what you should focus on and and what your what your life is is all about? Yeah, there's a lot of challenges. Where do I begin? And this is something like I'm actively like working through, you know,

57:17which is great. Um, I mean, the first I would say is, you know, inherently what gives women so much value is our feminine energy, right? In in relation to men and in relation to the world is like operating from feminine energy. And yet to attract everything I've had up until this point, it's been both, but it's been a lot of masculine energy. And so I've resonated with the safety of masculine energy. And it's really hard when you as a woman operate from masculine energy to not only find a partner whose masculine energy is, you know, greater than yours, whose vision is bigger than yours, who can hold space

58:02for you, but someone who can bring that feminine side out of you and to trust it to come out. Because for so long, everything we've gotten didn't come from that, right? It's like I would say that's the hardest thing is knowing how to trust feminine energy has been the hardest thing. Um even though so much of what I have in business has actually come from that. So it's like reminding myself it wasn't only masculine energy that got me there. Um I'd say that's a big thing. And also dating like just dating in general is really hard. Um, and having to like rewire these beliefs I have around freedom. For so long, I

58:42had this belief, the limiting belief that like, you know, the chances of me finding the one are so much smaller because if I want a man who's more successful than me, a bigger visionary than me, and all these things, it's like that is a very small pool of people. And so that I've always had as like a limiting belief. And yet at the same time, like I only want one. And so the odds are still massive. And so everything is perspective. So it's been a lot of having to um you know work on that. And I think um you know another piece of this that I've personally been

59:17struggling with is like feeling of like um like yeah like I guess like truthfully like I've and this is something I'm working through literally in therapy right now and like see with a spiritual coach too is like how to not like hate men I guess like on a very deep subconscious level cuz I think so much of everything I have is op was operated at least initially purely because of like a lack of a father figure in my life. And so it's like, you know, everything that gave me security and happiness in my life came from, you know, out of a place of almost uh giving giving myself justice for the

59:58lack of masculine energy. And so, how do I trust masculine energy when everything I have was because I was that role, you know? So that's something I think I've been struggling with. Yeah, I appreciate you sharing. I feel that's going to be the most profound thing people will resonate with women listening to this show. Um, are you able to unpack that a bit more about, you know, some of the stuff you've been working through and the the challenge of of that like that genuine feeling of of how do I not hate men,

1:00:39frankly. Yeah. It's it's so hard. It's so hard because the truth is not to get super I mean we're here so get philosophical like on a very sub I'm very aware of my thoughts right and so I think so often so much of the work we do in like psychotherapy or even spirituality is like how how do we become aware of what's running the show um but no one really tells you how to change it and how to actually fix your life right and so what I've become aware of is For example, love, right? Love in the same way. Actually, now I'm realizing business. It requires so much faith. It

1:01:20requires so much trust and surrender and knowing this person can hurt you. That's just what you're signing up for. This person can ruin your life. They can hurt you. All these things can happen in the same way that as running a business. You could go bankrupt. You could your business could explode tomorrow. This could have been the biggest regret of my life. And yet I'm still willing to take that risk because not only do I trust myself to succeed at it, but also like I

1:01:45love it too much to not try, you know? But when it comes to love, like that fear of giving someone the power to hurt me has been really hard. And that's something I'm working through is how do I trust they won't hurt me? And I realized it's not about making them not hurt me. It's about becoming the version of myself that's resilient enough that

1:02:10even if they hurt me, I can bounce back. That my life is so full that even if this person screws me over, like I am me and like that is everything I need, you know? And them being in or out of my life is a beautiful compliment to my life, but it isn't my life, right? And I think you have to believe that in order to love, right? Like I'm not doing business just so that I can have a

1:02:35billion dollar exit. I would love to. I'm doing it because I'm in love with the game that I wake up every day and I'm obsessed with what I do. I love this journey. And I feel like love should feel the same way where it's like every you're not, you know, love isn't made up by the day, you know, he gets down on one knee and you have a ring on your finger. It's made up of do you wake up every day and you feel love? Like do you feel love every day? And if you don't,

1:03:00then like you shouldn't be there. um you know just for the sake of like whatever but like if you do then whether or not that person hurts you you felt the feeling you were seeking in life. M I also think you know pain can be poetry like so much of all my work came as the result of heartbreak and struggle and all these things like it's so poetic and beautiful and as I was saying like this is the game of life like I want to feel every extreme I don't want to exist in this middle and like be safe but not experience this one life that we get to

1:03:37experience um but it is hard it is very hard yeah I I I feel that challenge for women. It just like I I I feel for them and and obviously the the men as well struggling to feel a place. I feel like there's a lot of alone men um as well. But I feel the interesting thing that I just from observing that cuz I've been deep diving into love and really trying to understand what that actually looks like. And one of the things that I've been realizing recently that maybe combats a little bit of the thoughts you were just sharing is the fact that love is less of a feeling and

1:04:18more of an action. Cuz it's a bit unrealistic to feel like you're going to feel loved by your partner every single day that you wake up. And and we're human. We have bad days. We have challenges. Sometimes people just grind our gears and we want to stomp on their toe. Like we do and and and there's a part of me that goes I I feel like it's a bit unrealistic to feel loved every day by your partner. I think this is why a massive thing with with God is so strong because if you have such a deep connection to God and you feel so much love from God, then even on

1:04:59the days you don't feel love from your partner, you can still feel the the the strength of God. And that still allows you to still fill up other people's cups and still give and still show and act in a state of love to your partner. And so that's the first thing that I found that's been super fascinating is that I've discovered recently. The other thing that I think is interesting is just like your business could land flat on its face with the app store shutting down or Apple going out of business or Tik Tok

1:05:35being deleted or whatever it is, right? Just like you could have challenges or a competitor comes in and does something or you get sued here just because because of the fact that there is so much pressure and there is so much risk with business makes you so much more invested in it. And if there was no risk of being

1:05:57heartbroken, would you truly feel love? M because if there was no risk and you knew that I can be fully full with myself and everyone else is a bonus, would you feel the connection and and feel the need to show up and act in a state of love for them so that they don't leave you because the fact that if you don't they will leave you and you'll feel heartbroken. So I I I wonder the fascinating piece around love because I think it's it's truly the the greatest thing in our life is the love from platonically, romantically and and truly feeling that. But equally, just like every other area of our life, the

1:06:43risk that comes with it is what makes it so great. M and then feeling that and knowing that allows you to show up in that way of going, "Huh, the fact that I actually feel dependent on this person right now is the very thing that makes it so great." And that's been a hard one for me to swallow cuz I' for the longest time I've been like I just want to this table has four legs and I I don't want my partner being a leg of that. I want it to be a plate on the table so that then if the if the plate breaks the table still stay

1:07:20strong, right? And I always thought this like cuz if if if they were a leg of the table and then they left me and they broke me then not only will the table break but it'll tilt and every plate on top will come crumbling down. And I would live in this lens of going like I can never let them be a leg of the table. They need to be a bonus. They need to be a plate on the

1:07:38table. But then I wonder if I can fully feel love if they're just a plate cuz I know that if they break I'm good. And um and you know I think the thing that I just truly feel and and I feel so passionately about to speak to and I don't know the answers and I don't know what's right or wrong, what the better thing is. But the challenge that I feel with this rise with women creating so much wealth yet still wanting people that are up and to the right is the fact that a lot of the men that are up and to the right of these

1:08:12successful women want a feminine woman which is what you said like they really thrive in that feminine energy. Mhm. And the feminine woman has that level of surrender and that level of like unity and that level of like support and and there's just something in me that just goes like if we are just trying to be so independent, not only are we going to struggle to find someone, but it's also going to be really hard to keep that person around. And um and yeah, it gives me goosebumps thinking about it cuz I I don't know the answers, but it is something that I feel

1:08:50so deeply about. That is very deep that you spoke to my soul because I'm going to be honest like for most of my life, you're right, like I just wanted the plate on the table and like disposable like you know like it's like you can't hurt me if I don't invest myself in you, right? But the truth is like everything that's good in my life like did come from deep surrender, trust and full investment of everything I have, you know, and I think the hard part is like um with love is it's very it feels so outside of our control, you know, with business there's metrics and that doesn't determine

1:09:30everything, but it just feels so much safer. Yeah. Whereas with love, it's like you can't control another person, you know. Um, and so that has been really hard for me. Like, it really has. And then the struggle of like, you know, everything I have and I love in my life was created through this masculine energy, but yet the men that I want maybe don't want that side of me is like deeply painful to admit to myself. Um, and do I want to be in a relationship where I am that kind of person? No. Right. I do want to be with someone where I that feminine side of me completely can come out. But

1:10:05that does require like trusting that person and you know and not being so in control all the time. And that's hard. It's very hard to do. But um but so much of the work that I have been doing that has helped me is again not about trying to contort this person to never hurt me, right? and to be so hypervigilant because that's something that I always had was like I've just been hurt in you know my life so many times that I just became hypervigilant and I existed in a state of fight or flight in a relationship more than ever experiencing love like it was more of like just a battlefield like

1:10:44love was just this war zone and it wasn't this like majestic you know whatever paradise and it's like what why am I here you know what am I doing and the realization was like um you Not everything has to be a checklist. Like it doesn't have to be like I have to pick this guy because he checks this off and and because he does this he'll never hurt me. It's like what what are we doing? You know, like what are we doing? Is this Amazon? Is this a shopping list? Like it's like so much more poetic and deep and beautiful and artistic than that. Um and I'm allowed

1:11:20to I'm allowed to feel pleasure. Like that was a big back to the whole like do you give yourself permission to desire what you want in this life? I was like, I'm allowed to be in love and I'm allowed to fully surrender and I'm allowed to be just feel good, you know, even on like a sexual level. Like I think so many hyper masculine women struggle in their sexuality and that no one talks about it is like maybe the reasons you have problems is because you don't even like to as a female like in order to have good sex like you have to surrender and trust or else your body's

1:11:52in fight or flight. Won't do what it needs to do. And so, you know, like I have had to do so much work in believing the feminine energy is powerful cuz on a deep level I believed for so long and I'm still working on this that feminine energy is deeply weak cuz it it did not save me when I needed

1:12:14saving. And so I'm really working now on like how can I believe that feminine energy is insanely powerful? How can I view, for example, a big um limiting belief I have is that like pregnancy is horrible. Like I'm like, I wish I could be I wish I could be a father, not a mother. Like

1:12:32how beautiful would it be to be a dad? Like why do I have to be a mom? Like I would love to be a father. You get to have a child and you didn't have to like give up nine months of your life, sacrifice your career, you could walk away at any point. That sounds like a dream. I was like, I wish I could be a dad and I can't simply because I was born a woman. And that has been like a deep um and I mean if you go back into my psychology it all makes sense but it's like I've had to reprogram that because

1:12:57I felt like pregnant women you know like lose like you you're losing by being a mom. Like it's uh you're like um the martyr like and I'm like no I have it all wrong. It's like I have the privilege that I'll be able to carry a human being and love it more than a man biologically. I will create this from my body. Every uh hair on its body, every

1:13:19cell, its teeth will be created by me. Like that's crazy. Like I'm one with God because I'm a woman. I am more connected to God than a man. And that is a privilege. And I think I just had it all backwards because I mean truthfully like society makes us believe that men have all this power. But maybe men had to obtain all this material power to, you know, I don't know, feel like they can be as powerful as what feminine energy

1:13:44is without doing anything. [sighs] That's profound. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. One therapy session. [gasps and sighs] Men have had to achieve all of this material stuff to try and get to the power of what a feminine woman has without doing anything. That's a bar. That is a bar. [gasps and sighs] Oh my goodness. So real. That is the realest thing I've heard all week. Oh my goodness. because I think the thing I'm like I'm lighting up about that is great. That is so good. You spat

1:14:36there. That was that was phenomenal. So, um so I I passionately agree. Um in fact, I think women are God's greatest gift. It even says in the Bible in Genesis at the start of the New Testament where it literally talks about before women, God created plants, created trees, created animals and then Adam was like, well, the animals weren't really good good uh good helpers. They weren't really good helpers. And so then God while Adam was sleeping pulled the rib cage out of Adam and created the woman to be a helper for a for Adam created Eve from Adam to create and whether the story feels too

1:15:28superficial or random whatever it's the message I'm trying to share here created woman for Adam God's greatest gift so that Adam had a valuable helper in his life. Women are God's greatest gift from life. They have the portal of life. Yeah. When the sink ships, we take care of women and children. Men, sacrificial lamb. No one cares about them. When a little kid is growing up as a little boy, he's like, "Go make something of yourself." They don't say that for women because the men don't have what the women already do. M and I think there's something so powerful in that and it's not about women not making money and not achieving

1:16:14all this stuff but but I I truly believe that there's this feeling of when it's passionled and and like desireled, not survival and needled. It's like the most amazing feminine energy that comes out. And if you could do it in a really manifesting way where you believe that it's possible and you believe that you can do it and you love it and it excites you, not drains you, it makes you feel happy, not scared. Um, I think that's really powerful. And I would just love to share one experience for me that uh gave me a lot of insight on women I want to stay with and not leave because I

1:16:56think it's super powerful. Um, uh, I was I'm in a relationship right now with this woman. She's amazing. I want to marry her. She's awesome. And, uh, and when I met her, I was on the back of being an absolute dick. I was on a podcast tour. Things were doing well. I was sleeping around. I was meeting girls out. I was flirting. I was responding to the DMs I was getting. I

1:17:26was Duh. And I remember having like a week of of just straight sin and it wasn't good. And I don't drink. I don't do drugs really. I literally like my bad vice was women. And uh and anyway, I was in the I was filming a solo podcast and at the very end of the pod I was sitting on in the Malibu Mountains as the sun was setting. At the very end of the pod, I just was and you've seen me today. I just ponder and I think about stuff. I'm weird. Um I was like, "So, what's next

1:18:01for me?" And I said, "I really would love someone in my life. I'm sick of doing this alone. I don't want to keep doing this alone and I want someone." And then I left Malibu and I was I went to Austin to do a production. Uh and we were doing this massive production, this horse barn, everything. Anyway, I was walking back to my Airbnb. I had 5 hours

1:18:25of like deep work to do at home. I just met my assistant who was down at the lake and we I was walking back to my Airbnb and I thought I'm just going to stop in at the smoothie shop life and I'm just going to grab like a quick like Alexa from the fridge. Not even a smoothie. I was in and out. Walked in as I walked out. This was a week after I just said I would really love someone in

1:18:45my life. I'm walking out with my stuff. very quick stop and this lady stands up and goes and compliments my shoes. This is the girl that I'm with right now. Anyway, oh my god. After this happened and we started getting really close, I found myself changing. I stopped responding to the girls texts. I stopped flirting. I stopped doing things with other women because I genuinely genuinely could not bear to hurt this girl. I

1:19:21could not I could not comprehend it. I fully changed. And I sat there and I went, "What's going on?" And one of the things that I drew it back to was I knew that she values herself and she won't tolerate me doing that stuff. So, if I want to be with her, I got to clean up my act or she's just going to leave because whether she's with me or not, she's going to have an

1:19:49amazing life. She's going to have a great life. She is the most desired, like any man would snatch her up in a heartbeat. M so when I knew that she was valuable and she had this feminine energy that made me feel so calm, she wanted me to she made me feel calm but at the same time wanted me to conquer. She was the only thing in my life that wanted me to not

1:20:12work. The only thing wow she was she was a space that made my house a home. And I literally felt this thing of if I mess this up, I'm the one losing because she's gonna have a great life. She's gonna find an amazing man. Wow. And so when I actually assess it and I go, "Okay, what does a man want?" Well, just like Adam wanted, he wanted a helper. He wanted someone that made him a better

1:20:42man. My life got fundamentally better in every single way when I met this woman. M which means that I can't comprehend losing her. So when I can't comprehend losing her, all I want to do is do her right cuz I know she won't tolerate anything else. And I think when a woman respects herself, her true self, not like the external things she's achieved, not like all of this stuff, her value in this earth, when she respects that, a high value man and a high achieving man will see that and just be absorbed by it, like fully absorbed by it to the point where it's like the only thing that

1:21:27matters. and you kind of go, "Holy I've been doing all of this work and now I can actually be a man and look after this person." Like, I could actually like open a door for her and I can actually do all these nice things and I can actually care for her. I can actually hold her a little bit longer when she's having a stressful day. Like, I can do all of this and and and and I get to it's the greatest gift ever. And I think the challenge that I find with a woman gets too masculine is she wants to do all of that herself and it doesn't

1:21:59make the man feel like a better man. And that's actually what we just want. And that's from back in the day when God created Eve. It was the exact same thing. Like he needed a helper. He needed someone to make him better. And it's not about saying that the women are less than. It's about saying that when like two become one and your strengths are are heightened like magic happens. And um and yeah, that was profound for me and it's really shaped a lot of like the drive and the value I feel I have in this earth now,

1:22:36which is kind of weird. That is beautiful. That was deeply healing for me to hear also because I feel like it's so rare. Not that it's rare, but it's like when you do hear stories like that, you realize that like I think first of all like men just deeply desire to feel valuable and to be of value in the world, right? Um especially to a woman. And then that like the right man will he will give you what you need as a woman. And as a woman, you'll be able to fully just, you know, let go. And that's deeply, deeply healing. What do you think? I'm

1:23:16curious from you. Like what do you think? Um cuz I think like the core of it is like um these women, you know, they Yeah. It's like they've learned to just be so in their masculine. But what as a man like what do you find let's say attractive or like you gravitate towards in a woman like how does it display

1:23:39itself you know? I can only speak for my experience but me is passion. I think when a woman's passionate then I get so excited and I don't really care what it is. I just want to see like your eyes light up with excitement. And I think that's really cool. I think I think uh I think passion is a very just feminine amazing bubbly thing

1:24:07and excitement. Yeah. Like I and and I just think that um like men men can go through like war and go through like building these buildings and breaking bones and going through this stuff. And I'm not saying that that's not valuable for a woman as well, [gasps] but like when a man goes through that, like they find great value and worth from from that transformation, like they find great

1:24:42they they they they become more useful. And um and I think for me like when I see a woman that like can make me just feel so calm and just excited like like with her passion and with her kindness and her and her care and her love. Um it just yeah for me my biggest wake up was holy I just spent 5 hours on a couch and didn't think about work once and I don't remember the last time I've

1:25:13had that ever. ever. Wow. And so like I I I was like there's something in that. Um and so and so yeah, I'm fascinating to know from from you when you are a woman in business and you start achieving stuff. Do you just like you said earlier around uh you know not um like not can't comprehend being a a mother but like you can be a father and like when you're in that state like do you genuinely like genuinely have a deep thought of I don't want kids I don't want a family I can just do this alone or is that kind of like a front and there's a little thought of

1:25:59oh I would want it or is it genuinely like I don't want it? So, I do want kids. I do want to be a mom. I I think it'll be the most rewarding thing I'll ever do, you know, because it's like it's a part of me and it's like I get to like fully like the thing I love is I love to give like fundamentally like you were saying like people at the end of their life and and people were you know have everything. It's like I just love giving and so to be able to give everything of what I have to something I created I

1:26:31think will be the most rewarding thing I ever do. I think it's never been a question of like if I don't want children. I think it's more been this like defense and everything I think with women of like why they are the way they are so often and just in general with anything we do in the world like people who never become wealthy right not in every case but in a lot of cases it's a defense mechanism of it doesn't feel safe to trust whatever this is right it just feels deeply deeply dangerous and the subconscious going back to our first thing the subconscious just doesn't care

1:27:08what you want. It just cares to keep you safe. And so it'll, you know, it'll literally like manipulate your brain into believing things that aren't even real just to keep you safe from what it's been proven to see over time. And so I've I know like I'm very aware of like so much of what I believe on this topic that I'm actively like working through and I have been for years is

1:27:31like a manipulation of my own brain. Like I believe that everything will go to I'm going to get hurt. I'm going to this that and the other. It's like that's all like deeply, you know, distorted stories and everything's perspective, too. Um, and I believe this because my brain thinks that if I believe this, I won't do the thing that could hurt me and so I'll never get hurt, but also never get to experience what I deeply want. And that's like the cycle that is always perpetuated in our lives. I do want this. I think like deeply what I fear is abandonment. Like I would do all of this

1:28:10and sacrifice so much of what has kept me safe and given me so much happiness, which is my career, and then there's nothing holding that man to stay. Like he could leave. And I don't need child support, you know, like I'll be fine. It's more just like emotionally if he disappears. That feels very scary to me. um because he's not biologically attached to that that child the way I will be forcibly attached to that child and that scares me. It's all control. Everything in the women's psychology and human psychology, it all comes down to control and having children is deep release of control. It is maybe the

1:28:49biggest surrender of control that you can I mean you're growing something inside of you that like you just I mean this is a physically another soul inside of you. There's not a lot of control you have in that, right? And like it's a very crazy process. Um, but it scares me that I would have to surrender so much

1:29:10control. Wow. It's so profound. It's, you know, see the see the there's a there's a massive desire for women to become men because we control it more. [laughter] No, like like I interviewed this guy and he's like, "Yeah, like women are becoming the men that they want. It was so brutal. It was so brutal." And I'm not saying it's wrong. And I really want to rein home that like it's not wrong, but but like I really see great power in diving deep to why we're doing something. And uh and it's just crazy. But like that makes so much sense, right? like we that we can control the masculine energy, but the

1:29:55the feminine one has so much faith and surrender and trust that's out of our control. And we don't want to be sitting there going, there is nothing I can do right now. You know why too? Because the worst pain is knowing you you signed up for this. Like it's so much easier to not feel grief over something that you couldn't control, but to know that this is something you signed up for and you got

1:30:19played is deeply painful. But that's also like it's all perspective. And I mean I've been doing I one big mission I have in my own personal development in life is like anything I do out of a state of lack um from a state of scarcity, from a state of pain, I don't want to do in my life. Like I want to end my life knowing I I am operating at the end of my life fully from a place of abundance and pleasure and that I'm making decisions from that state and and from not because I had something up happen to me and I'm just reacting like life is happening to

1:30:54me not you know for me but that I'm actually like fully en like choosing everything and and acting from a state of abundance. And so what I've had to do is I've had to like go back to the root of like what started all of this? Like clearly this is not a healthy mechanism

1:31:14of thinking of act action reaction. Something caused my subconscious to believe this that hasn't been healed or isn't there's no safety there yet. And you can't until you heal and create safety it won't you won't change your reality. And so I've been doing a lot of work on like something I think one of the most profound realizations I've had in my life is like who would I be if I had a father that really showed up for me. Like who would I be right now? How would I love? And you start to think I wouldn't be doing any of this. Like I just would like I've like played that

1:31:51scenario in my head of like I'm just going to create this alter ego for a day where I like pretend I grew up with this dad who like spoiled me and spoiled my mom and like we were always taking care of. I'd look at the world so differently. I'd be so much more I don't know like uh excited for what's I just wouldn't be in fear constantly. And it's so sad because it's like everything I see in the world is like from the glasses of like all the pain I've experienced and like I have to take those glasses off and see you know reality for what it is and what it could

1:32:23be. And what I've had to do is like what I've been doing actually is I listen to you know visualizations on my app Stella. Um, but something really deeply profound for me is I've been listening to visualizations where it's like a visualization of myself as a child where like I had masculine figures in my life that really showed up for me like the, you know, the father who like uh, you know, came to me and was like, "You have such a powerful idea. Like I hope I I will be committed to making this come into fruition. Like you deserve to be heard. You are so capable." um like

1:32:59listening to these visualizations of like you, you know, my like a father figure saying you're so beautiful. I will support this mission for you. Like I will be there if anything falls through. Like I'm here for you. And like hearing that and then going about my day after that, I'm a different person. It's the way I can like relax and I could just trust others to show up and support me. It's like, and I think we think that just because we were raised that way or we experience these painful things, it's like that's hardwired into our brain, but our brain can't tell the difference

1:33:34between a real and imagined experience. And with enough imagination, everything that exists was once imagined. So, if you continuously imagine a new reality, you almost go back and revise the past or create enough imaginary evidence of what could exist in the future, it changes your identity and it changes your destiny. And so that's what I've been doing and it's been very powerful and like I'm dating a partner now who I really really love who's super ambitious, more successful than me. Um, and it's like very very healing and he's extremely supportive. I've dated guys who like I think their entire mission was to see me fail. Like truly I think

1:34:10they it was like subconsciously like they wanted to see me shrink and see me fail. And like I do think as an ambitious woman that there does exist a partnership where you can be feminine and you can also build an empire together. And I think it's interesting how we both are building such massive empires but we're operating so differently within that. And to for me to be able to come in and be like here's how on a mindset level I'm operating this and he's like here's you know here are the data and I'm like we come together and it's like this

1:34:42magical thing. [laughter] It's crazy. Wow, this has been cool. This has been the best. Thank you so much. I uh I just want to commend you for opening up and sharing and it's it's what it's all about. I think that's so cool. And um and yeah, I have goosebumps. I just think like there's yeah, I've learned a lot today and I've I've uh I just recommend you for everything that you're doing, the stuff

1:35:10you're building, the life you're living. It's inspiring. It's very cool. and just good on you for everything and I appreciate you coming on and sharing some of your story and your insights. Thank you, Chris. It's been good. It's been good. I'm going to leave all your details in the show notes so everyone can go check

1:35:26you out. But we're going to sign out. Bye-bye. Bye.