The ENTIRE History of ROME [No AI]

0:00Before the Roman Empire, there was the Roman Republic. And before that was the Roman Kingdom. And all of this actually didn't start in Rome. It started in Albalonga, an ancient city about 25 km away from nowadays Rome. There in the year 771 before Christ, the king of Albalonga, Numur, is chilling on his balcony enjoying his Latin Empire

0:21when his younger brother Amulius suddenly pushes him into early retirement. At the same time, Amulius's followers also kill all of Numur's suitable children to make sure he becomes the new rightful ruler. Only Sylvia, Numur's soul daughter, survives the balcony party. And to make sure she doesn't produce any new heirs, she gets assigned a fate worse than death. She was forced to become a vast virgin (THE HORROR)

0:45a priestess forbidden from having children. Well, that solves that, Amelius thought to himself. But then a miracle happened. Somehow Sylvia gets pregnant even though she was supposed to be a virgin. Now don't get your hopes up since it wasn't Jesus Christ just yet, folks. (awww) But it was Rome's original founders, Romelus and Remis. After a presumably very chaotic childbirth and a very awkward welcome baby gathering,

1:13it was time for the next family drama. "How did you get pregnant while being a virgin?!! " "I was literally raped by the god of war, Mars.!!" 0-0 "The god of war, Mars..?" "Yes." "that is the worst excuse I've ever heard. " "It's not an excuse.!!! It's literally the myth.!!" "What? ?" But whether Amas believed it or not, he now had a much bigger and cuter problem. With the newborn twin boys around,

1:42his claim for the throne started to become wobbly as there was a legitimate heir. Now, better call Saul. ... "Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do."

1:58And now the part I think everyone knows. Eventually, the basket of the two babies crashes into the riverbank and the twins roll into the cold, wet sand that is rough and gets everywhere. Well, this is it, said Romelus to Remis in a very manly and sexy voice. "Yes, brother.It was an honor sharing the same womb with you." And just when they think they are about to die, a female wolf jumps from the bushes and-

2:21the Okay, this is straight up becoming a Bible story now. !! Virgins giving birth, kings ordering to kill babies, and the wolf feeding two twins. What's next? The Tower of Babylon?? Well, chronically speaking, yes, but I get the hint. This all is a myth. It might or might not have happened. But it is crucial to the birth of Rome

2:39which we are about to talk about actually. so why DONT YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, AND SIT DOWN AND ENJOY THE FREE ENTERTAINMENT.?! [you get em waldo] Who are you even get out of here [OHGOD-] Anyway, after being raised by the wolf for an unknown time, the boys get grow older and stronger — like, absurdly strong. Living on protein-rich wolf milk apparently turns you into ancient Jojo characters. (Is that a jojo reference-) So one day- while they’re out flexing in the woods and doing whatever feral demigod teenagers do, a shepherd finds them, adopts the twins and teaches them presumably how to speak since they were literal furries till then

3:13and the twins grow up into two tall, muscular troublemakers. One dayRomulus and Remus get into a fight with some thugs who work for — guess who — King Amulius. And during the brawl, the twins learn the truth: they’re not random forest boys… they’re the lost princes of Alba Longa, the rightful heirs that Amulius tried to “river-delete.” So naturally, the boys decide to go on a bizarre adventure They march straight back to Alba Longa, gather the locals, shout something dramatic like: “please become a member of the YouTube channel historically”

3:46and together with the people of the city, they overthrow Uncle Amulius and.. reinstate their grandpa Numitor who apparently survived the fall? [talk about plot armor] Grandpa gets reinstated as king, and everyone’s cheering, celebrating, throwing flowers, etc.… Except Romulus and Remus, because they started to like this whole army thing, so they decided to build a city together a couple kilometers over.

4:08Eventually, they find a great spot near the Tiber River. Beautiful scenery, seven hills, perfect vantage points, a village with a blacksmith— All was going well… But then disaster strikes: They can’t agree where to put the city. Romulus: “We build on the Palatine Hill.” Remus: “No, Aventine Hill.” Romulus: “Mine’s better.” Remus: “No, mine’s better.” Romulus: “No.” [oh uhh] And suddenly the founding of the Roman Empire becomes a sibling argument that could’ve been solved with,

4:40like… a coin. But noooo, this is ancient Italy. So instead they go: “Let’s ask the gods.” They hold a contest: whoever sees more birds wins divine approval. Remus: “I saw six birds!” Romulus: “Cool, I saw twelve.” :) Remus: “YOU CHEATED.” >:( Romulus: “THE GODS LOVE ME MORE, BRO.” Remus: “THEY LITERALLY DON’T.” >:((( The argument escalates. Romulus starts building a tiny wall — if his brother won’t help him, he’ll just make the city himself

5:11and Remus, being a certified older brother menace, decides to clown on him. Remus hops over the wall like it’s nothing and goes: “OH NOOOO LOOK I’M IN YOUR SUPER SECURE CITY, BROTHER! WHAT WILL YOU DO? ARREST ME?!” Romulus: *maybe murder is okay* Remus: "you suck" Romulus: there is no laws here yet... Remus: “What, you gonna FOUND an empire on my corpse?” He did. :) And this is the start of the Roman Empire Historically EXTRA long Facts part 16

5:38So Romulus is now king, right? But Rome at this point is basically a homeless camp with ambition. To attract people, Romulus calls it an asylum city — and not the medical kind, the “everyone who’s on the run from something, come on in!” kind. So suddenly Rome fills up with • runaway slaves • debt dodgers • exiles • guys who stole goats • guys who ARE goats • criminals • And a couple lost tourists Romulus looks at this crowd and goes: “Perfect! A city!”

6:06But there’s a problem.... A HUGE problem, because Rome has: • food • hills • walls • chaotic men • ONE king …but exactly zero women to have children with. (NO BITCHS??) Romulus: “This is… an issue.” Remus’ ghost: “You think?” Romulus: “Shut UP” So Rome hosts a big festival and invites their neighbors, the Sabines, like: “Come celebrate! Bring the whole family! There will be snacks!” Let’s be honest no one can ignore such a great housewarming party, so the Sabines show up

6:35and everyone’s vibing. But then, mid-party, Romulus gives the signal and the Romans… … Just kidnap all the Sabine women… Rome literally solved its gender imbalance with an 8th-century BC Tinder kidnapping event. Papa Mars would be proud [true Roman..] The next morning the sabine men wake up with a hangover and are furious. They attack Rome, Obviously, and we get the first official Roman war, just 3 years after the birth of the place,

7:02bravo. The Sabine women walk out between the armies and yell: “STOP. We don’t want our new husbands killing our old families….Stop being stupid. Merge the kingdoms. And continue your lives." And they do. Just like that, the Sabines and Romans become one people, which must’ve been awkward at the dinner table. From here, Rome cycles through six more kings.

7:23We still have over a thousand years to cover, so I’ll just speedrun us through this. Timer please? [yes sir] The first king is Romulus. He creates the senate, did all the crazy stuff we just went over, Then… disappears one day in a storm. Romans say he ascended to heaven. Though he probably just tripped and died. Romulus was followed by the second King, a Sabine king who creates the Roman religion,

7:46builds temples, actually does not fight anyone for a while and dies peacefully. The third king, was basically the opposite of his predecessor and decided religion is cringe and fighting is so much cooler, so he attacks and destroys Alba Longa, and absorbs their population. He dies because he angered a God supposedly. So the fourth king, a half sabine half roman person

8:09takes power, brings back religion yet expands Rome forcefully. He also starts paving the way for his followers by building prisons, ports and bridges. The next king kept this spirit going and constructed the massive sewer system we still applaud Rome for to this day, and becomes insanely powerful, so he gets assassinated by his political opponents. And so did his successor who was abusing his power left and right, though he did build a wall,

8:35but it didn’t stop the Mexicans. Finally, the 7th king, who was so incredibly sinister and cruel, that he was expelled from the city by the people of Rome. And just to prevent any more idiotic Kings from taking over, the Roman people turned the place from a Kingdom, to a Republic. And with that, we enter the era of the Roman Republic. Yes, still not Empire. Which, in theory, means: “No more kings. Ever. We’re done. We learned our lesson.”

9:02So instead of one king… they elect two consuls. Who have the power of a king but definitely aren’t kings.. They rule at the same time and can veto each other to quote on quote keep each other in balance. They also switch out each year. I’m sure that will go well. Let’s see how well it go— (OH MY GOD HELP) oh god its all burning down

9:21Every wondered how Rome became so militaristic? It wasn’t just because their first king’s daddy was the God of war it’s actually because of what’s happening right here infront of us. Rome wasn’t the only city that liked to plunder and kill, because the French in the ancient Gaul region wanted to do it before them.

9:39And the Romans… lost to them. And not just a bit. The Gauls enter Rome, loot it, burn most of it, sit around like it’s a camping trip, and leave only after the Romans pay them a ransom in gold. This event might as well be Rome’s origin story of their villain arc. Never again can we be humiliated.

9:59So they turn ultra-ultra militaristic. Anything that isn’t nailed to the ground is about to get conquered… and oh god were they good at it. They started with their Latin neighbors. Then some hill tribes. Then Greek colonies. Then more tribes. Then even MORE tribes. Basically, if you lived near early Rome, you were about to receive a

10:19very polite invitation to join the Republic or be flattened by it. But the real challenge comes from across the water in the south: Carthage. They have a massive navy, way too much money, a beautiful city, and elephants. You know, the kind of neighbor Rome absolutely can’t tolerate. So the two republics start fighting in what historians

10:40very casually call the Punic Wars, which is basically three blockbuster sequels of chaos. In the first one, Rome goes: “We want that island.” Carthage goes: “You don’t even have a navy to stop us.” And Rome responds by building a navy by stealing the design of the Carthaginian ships and win anyway. 1-0 for Rome

11:01Then the second war starts, and this is the big one — Hannibal appears. This man shows up with fifty thousand troops, thirty-seven elephants, and the determination of many years of deep rooted racism. He gathers in spain, marches his army over the Alps, which is insane even today, and absolutely wrecks Rome for years. Rome eventually wins because they’re Rome

11:24but… yeah, Hannibal made them sweat. 2-0 for Rome. Then the third war is basically Rome saying: “Carthage still exists and that bothers us,” so they delete the whole city from the timeline. Boom. Gone. Survival of the fittest or whatever. And just for good measures so they won’t fight again, they enslaved the whole city. And so with their ONLY real rival out of the way, Rome gets addicted to expansion like the British got to opium They conquer Spain, North Africa Greece, Turkey,

11:56and of course… the Gaul region. Instead of going to therapy, Rome literally conquered 10% of humanity, enslaved another 2%, and destroyed entire ancient civilisations just so they were strong enough to have revenge for what they did 330 years before. And the men who gets to deal the final blow? Julius Ceasar. Caesar is basically the final boss of the Roman Republic. He marches into Gaul with a relatively small army and proceeds to absolutely dismantle the place. And by dismantle I mean defeat tribe after tribe, conquer all of France, dip into Belgium, flirt with Germany, and then casually invade

12:37Britain just to see what they taste like. He comes back to Rome so powerful, that the senate becomes afraid of him so they order him to come to Rome alone and to leave his army behind. He naturally refuses, and starts marching to the capital. The senate panics, and flee as Ceasar enters the city with little to no resistance. But Rome wasn’t his just yet, he still had to defeat the disputed leader and his

13:01allies before he can legally become.. I don’t know, the first dictator Rome has seen in 500 years? [Sulla doesn’t count.] He fights all across the continent, boinks Cleopatra on the way because why not, and after 4 years finally gains control of the Republic. Half the senate likes him the other half want to kill him by stabbing him 23 times.

13:22But is that hate justified?? Well… kind of... but also absolutely not. Caesar wasn’t a straight up evil guy most people portray him as today. He was actually doing a lot of stuff that regular Romans loved. He fixed the chaotic calendar so months actually made sense — and its why we now have 365 days,

13:42July is literally named after him, you’re welcome. He lowered taxes, cancelled debts, expanded citizenship, rebuilt half the city, gave lands to veterans of war, regulated grain supply so poor people didn’t starve, and tried to keep the army under control so rogue generals wouldn’t create another civil war. But — and this is the “but” the Senate could not ignore

14:02— he was also absorbing every political office he possibly could.. Dictator? Yep. Consul? Sure. Pontifex Maximus aka the head priest? Why not. Basically the man was collecting power like they were Pokemon cards. And the Senate, who spent 500 years being paranoid about kings, looked at this and went: “OH GOD HE’S BECOMING A KING.” So they decided to “save the Republic” by doing the most Republic-destroying thing possible: They murder him in the middle of a Senate meeting. And this

14:32might have been the dumbest thing they could have possibly done. Because — tiny problem — everyone LIKED Caesar except them. The “liberators” walk out of the Senate like “We did it guys, we saved the republic” While the Roman people are more like: “You killed the guy who lowered our taxes and gave us free grain??” let’s hope this doesn’t somehow escalate

14:54Look how they massacred my BOY. This, is Mark Antony. Ceasars bestie who is apparently really upset that his friend is dead. But don’t let it fool you, in reality he really enjoys power, and is about to usurp that power all to himself. Not on my watch says Octavius, the adopted 18 year old grand-nephew of Ceasar. Octavius might look like an adorable baby boy,

15:18but in reality he is a cunning war criminal. Mark Antony, Octavius and some random other guy that doesn’t matter become the new united leaders of Rome, but in reality it’s more like Mark Antony and Octavius trying to become the sole leader. Luck has it for Octavius that Mark is a massive simp, and he too,

15:37just like Ceasar, gets seduced by Cleopatra. So he goes to Egypt, showers her in gifts and Octaviusn sees this as the perfect opportunity to depose of his rival. “Look, he’s only spending his time in Egypt with his e-girl, and guess what, he’s definitely planning to move the capital from Rome to Alexandria, we should depose of him”

15:56It was a blatant lie, but the romans believe it. They attack Egypt, defeat the Egyptians, and the couple takes the easy way out to avoid being humiliated in Rome. That leaves Octaviusn, as the sole ruler. And he blantently steals the plot of the good Star Wars movies. He declares himself first citizen, or, Imperator and usurps all the power to himself. Finally, by the Senate— or whatever is left of it after a campaign of revenge and bloodshed for what a few of them did to Ceasar, he is named Augustus which means all kinds of fancy things. And since this day, in the year 27 before christ, yes all of this before the man himself even spawned in

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17:49thank you freecash.com for feeding the needy! All roads lead to Rome, which is actually true, unless you live in any of these continents. But why do they lead to Rome? Well that is because Rome in its empire phase started to learn how to stabilise instead of endlessly expanding like for example the mongols used to do.

18:07That’s why their empire fell apart so quickly, while Rome managed to survive way longer. Anyway eyes on me please (anything for you waldo..) as we continue our story as we enter Rome’s golden age. Rome has become very quickly a fully centralized empire, and Augustus, the first emperor, is the reason it doesn’t immediately collapse again.

18:26The key thing to understand about Augustus is that he is not trying to be impressive. He is trying to be permanent. And because of that, he might be the single greatest emperor to ever exist. He knows exactly why the Republic failed. It wasn’t because Rome lacked laws, or values, or tradition. It failed because the army stopped belonging to the state and started belonging to individual men. Every civil war, from Marius to Sulla to Caesar, followed the same pattern:

18:52soldiers fought for generals, not for Rome. So Augustus fixes that first. He turns the Roman army into a professional standing force. No more temporary legions raised for single wars. Soldiers now enlist for roughly twenty years. They receive regular pay from the state, standardized equipment, and a guaranteed retirement package. Land grants come from the government,

19:14not from a general promising rewards if his rebellion succeeds. This one change alone removes the main fuel for civil war. Augustus also limits how much military power any single governor can control. Provinces with large armies are separated from provinces with large wealth. No one gets both. Generals are rotated. Commands are time-limited. Loyalty flows upward, not sideways. Rome now maintains around twenty-five to thirty legions, roughly one hundred and fifty thousand professional Roman soldiers, backed by at least as many auxiliary troops, permanently stationed across the empire. This is expensive, but it gives Rome something it never really had before

19:55predictability. On top of that, Augustus changes Roman war strategy. Instead of endless expansion, Rome now focuses on securing borders. Spain is fully pacified after decades of resistance. The Alps are conquered to eliminate raiding routes into Italy. In the Balkans, rebellions are crushed and the Danube becomes a hardened frontier. In the east, Augustus avoids full-scale war with Parthia. Instead, he uses diplomacy and pressure

20:20to recover Roman standards lost in earlier defeats. He presents this as a victory to the public, even though no major war is fought. It shows how the emperor really tries to keep the empire alive. But that doesn’t mean the wars stop. Along the Rhine and Danube, Roman legions are constantly active. Forts are built every few kilometers. Roads connect them so troops can move quickly. These regions were anything but peaceful,

20:44and because of that it actually had soldiers living there permanently. In 9 AD, three Roman legions marched into Germania under the general Varus. They are ambushed by Germanic forces led by Arminius, a former Roman ally trained in Roman warfare. The legions are wiped out almost completely in the Teutoburg Forest. Mind you that’s 20 thousand professional soldiers,

21:06dead just like that. How could a general fumble so badly? Let’s take a look at the traitor, Arminius. Arminius knows Rome better than most Romans do. He grew up around them, served in their army, earned their trust, and learned exactly how legions move, fight, and think. He knows their discipline. He knows their confidence. And most importantly, he knows their biggest weakness:

21:28they assume everyone else wants to become Roman. But back home where Arminius is from, Germania, Roman rule doesn’t feel like order — it feels like suffocation. Roman courts replace local customs. Roman law overrides tribal authority. Taxes are imposed. Obedience is expected. What Rome calls civilization, Arminius sees as the slow erasure of everything his people are.

21:52Germania isn’t being conquered by the sword anymore, it’s being absorbed quietly, permanently. And Arminius understands that once Rome finishes that process, resistance will be impossible. So he decides this is the moment. He doesn’t rebel openly. That would fail immediately. Instead, he stays loyal — on the surface. To Varus, Arminius is the perfect Roman ally: calm, cooperative,

22:17warning him about small uprisings that supposedly need to be dealt with. He convinces Varus that Germania is already under control, that this is just routine cleanup. Varus believes him. The legions move as if they’re on administrative duty, not a military campaign. They march stretched out, hauling wagons, supplies, and even civilians through terrain they don’t understand. Forests close in. Roads disappear. Rain turns paths into mud. This is no place for

22:47Roman formations — and Arminius knows it. Then the attacks begin. Not a battle. A slaughter. Germanic fighters strike from the forest, disappear when the Romans try to respond, and then strike again — harder. Because the legions are strung out for kilometers in narrow terrain units can’t form up and orders don’t travel. Roman discipline still exists, but there’s nothing to apply it to.

23:11Rome is used to fighting on open ground — one army facing another. Not conga-lining through dense forest while being dismantled piece by piece. Varus hears reports of attacks but doesn’t react decisively. He hesitates, assuming it’s just minor banditry causing delays. He keeps pushing forward, believing the situation can still be managed. It can’t. Over several days,

23:32the army collapses. Units are isolated. Officers are killed. Coordination disappears. By the time Varus realizes this isn’t unrest but a full betrayal, there is no army left to save. More than twenty thousand career soldiers are dead because of his blindness. Varus takes his own life rather than return to Rome as the man who lost

23:50three legions without ever fighting a proper battle. The Germanic tribes — Rome’s “barbarians” — slip out of Roman control, thanks almost entirely to Arminius. The legions XVII, XVIII, and XIX are never used again, forever locked away with Rome’s unresolved traumas. More importantly, Roman policy changes permanently. After this, Augustus abandons the idea of conquering Germania. The Rhine becomes the frontier. Rome stops pushing outward and

24:18commits fully to defense. This decision defines the empire’s borders for centuries. It was time for solidifying ground, and making sure no silly little man would start a world religion. (spoilers man your time hasn't come -) When Augustus dies in 14 AD, he leaves behind something unprecedented: a Roman state that is stable, defensible, and no longer tearing itself apart…

24:40His actions were singlehandedly the foundation of the Golden Age. Now, before we continue with emperors and wars, it’s worth stopping for a moment and looking at what living in the peak of Rome’s golden era was really like. For the average Roman citizen living inside the empire, especially in Italy or a major province, life is structured in a way that is rare for the ancient world. Cities have paved roads, stone buildings, aqueducts,

25:05public baths, markets, courts, and written laws. Grain distributions keep large populations fed. Trade moves freely across thousands of kilometers. Most people are not wealthy. Many live modestly. Slavery is widespread and brutal. But there is stability. If you are inside the empire, you live within a system that absorbs shocks. Famine, crime, and violence exist, but there is an administration to respond to them. Now compare that to the average person outside the empire,

25:35often labeled a “barbarian” by Roman writers. Most of these societies are rural and decentralized. Political authority depends on the person. There are no standing armies, no long-distance infrastructure networks, no permanent bureaucracies. Life is harder, but more flexible. Taxes are lower, but protection is limited. When something goes wrong, there is no larger system to intervene. This contrast matters. Because for centuries, Rome doesn’t just defeat and fight these peoples —

26:05it also attracts them. Roman service offers pay. Roman cities offer security. Roman citizenship offers legal rights. Many people outside the empire don’t want to destroy Rome. They want access to what it provides. And that will matter later. For now, it’s time for the next emperor to take power… Spin the wheel of misfortune! “…Wait. Good?"

26:28Oh this thing is DEFINITELY rigged. Meet, the adopted son of Augustus, Emperor Tiberius. He’s a capable guy, an experienced guy, but most interestingly, an extremely introverted guy who is deeply suspicious of literally everyone and hates being in public. From the day he took the role as emperor, which he essentially got forced into by Augustus he didn’t do anything too radical. He simply kept himself secluded to the point he abandoned living in Rome and moved to the island of Capri, where he reigned the empire from there. But that was a bit of a mistake, since there was

27:01no one in Rome anymore to enforce order directly. That came in handy for the Praetorian Guard, who were originally created by Augustus as an elite protective unit. These soldiers are heavily armed, permanently stationed in Rome, and loyal not to the state, but to the emperor personally. Problem is, with Emperor Tiberius living on an island, the Praetorian

27:21Guard commander becomes one of the most powerful men in the city. He controls access to the emperor, filters information, and increasingly influences decisions. Rome still looks stable on the surface, but power is no longer flowing through institutions. It’s flowing through whoever controls the soldiers closest to the throne. Meanwhile, in the far province of Judea, A local religious figure named Jesus of Nazareth is

27:44arrested by local authorities and handed over to the Roman administration. He’s executed for causing unrest and refusing to acknowledge Roman authority in the way expected of him. The execution is routine, and crucifixion is a standard Roman punishment. As far as the empire is concerned, this is a minor provincial matter, barely worth recording, and Rome moves on. When Emperor Tiberius eventually dies in 37 AD, the balance of power inside Rome

28:11were already distorted. The Praetorian Guard actively starts playing a key role in ensuring the next emperor supports their wishes and desires. They choose Caligula, a great grand-son of Emperor Augustus. At first he does what they expect him to do… but long story short because I don’t want to cover all— what 90 emperors Rome had in full detail..?— Emperor Caligula gets a bit too cocky. So… the Praetorian Guard simply kill the emperor,

28:38and on the spot immediately select a replacement themselves. They find Caligula’s uncle, Claudius, and declare him the new emperor. Needless to say, Rome has now crossed a line. The emperor is no longer chosen by tradition, legitimacy, or public consensus. He is chosen by the soldiers standing closest to him. Claudius turns out to be more competent than expected.

29:00He expands the empire, strengthens administration, and keeps the system functioning. But the precedent remains. Everyone now understands that the Praetorian Guard is not just a protective force, its the ruling force. After Claudius, power passes to Augustus’ great great grandson, Nero. Nero is obsessed with personal image, and is careless about his power. He’s basically the complete opposite of the legendary first emperor.

29:26He causes rebellions, a financial collapse and half of Rome burned down during his reign. The Senate and the army lose confidence in him, and those who actually matter if they support you or not- the Praetorian Guard—ended up doing the same, which basically means your time is up. Nero flees rome, and as it’s clear he’s going to get

29:45arrested and executed, he takes his own life. And with his death in the year 68, we not only end the Julius Ceasar dynasty reign, but also end in the very chaotic year of 69 (very nice), also known as the Year of the Four Emperors. Four men claim and sit on the throne in a single year. Not because they’re great leaders, but

30:07because different armies across the empire backed different candidates. One emperor gets murdered. Another gets overthrown. Another rules for a few months. Civil war breaks out across the empire. Legions that were supposed to defend borders are now marching on each other. Eventually, one man wins: Vespasian. Not because he’s charismatic. Not because he’s loved. But because he has the strongest army. He restores order, mostly by force, and hands the empire to his sons afterward. So yay Rome Survives,

30:39but now everyone yet again the truth about emperor legitimacy. Because if you control the army, you control Rome, no matter how bad of a leader you are. For the next century, emperors rise and drop died like flies every other week. It’s extremely chaotic, and not that interesting because it just comes down to. This emperor bad, he gets killed,

31:02this emperor a bit better, but the Praetorian Guard dont like him, etcetera. So here are a couple of highlights. In 117 AD, under Emperor Trajan, the Roman Empire reached its historical peak with the capture of what is nowadays Romania Jordan and Armenia. In 193 AD, the Praetorian Guard who are yes still in power even 200 years later,

31:28literally sell the title of Emperor to the highest bidder. Emperor Julianus ended up reigning for just 66 days after he got executed in the palace by another general. And in the beginning of the third century, Christianity started to spread like crazy, and that was annoying for the Roman elite. Christians refused to worship Roman gods, and instead

31:50worshipped, well, the Christian God. But that wasn’t the only Crisis they faced. The whole third century was hell for the Roman Empire. Emperors switched weekly, most die violently. The empire nearly fractures into separate states. Germanic invasions hit the west, while Persian armies press from the east. Meanwhile massive plagues tear through cities and hyper-inflation destroys the economy.

32:14Sounds like 2019 all over again. It was a chaotic mess, and eventually, one emperor accepts the obvious. The empire is too big. Too unstable. Too complex to be ruled the old way. So he makes a radical change. He chops the Empire into pieces. He creates the Tetrarchy—the "Rule of Four." Two senior emperors, two juniors. On top of that, Emperors now live in border cities to be close to the action,

32:46and Rome… literally gets abandoned just like that. It’s still there, but the power of the Empire is now at the fronts… among four of them. After that genius Emperor retires to grow cabbages, (most random job) the "Rule of Four" turns into a "Battle Royale." Constantine wins. He somewhat reunites the empire, but he doesn’t move back into the old Roman office.

33:13He’s seen the future, and the future, was in the East. In 330 AD, he builds Constantinople. It’s built on a massive chokepoint between Europe and Asia. It’s richer than Rome, easier to defend, and—crucially—it’s built as a Christian city. No more old-school pagan garbage, christianity is now the legalised new cool thing. Though the empire is whole, in reality the split into

33:37east and west had already settled in. All the rich and intellectual people followed the emperor to the greek speaking world, while in Rome the latin speaking folks were left behind as a ghost province. And I know this is a bit of a hot take, but at this point the Byzantine Empire is real. Some people like to call it the western roman empire and the eastern empire but that’s lame.

33:58They dont even speak Latin like the westerners or live anywhere close to Rome!. The eastern roman part of the empire, at this point in history, evolved in the byzantine empire, and that is a hill im willing to die on you can sue me in the comment section. Anyway, the split between east and west became finalised when an emperor who died in 395 AD, split his empire between his two sons (classic mistake)

34:27and both administrations immediately ceased working together. Rome is no longer Rome. By the early fifth century, the non-Byzantine aka-western Roman Empire is laughably weak, and often ruled by foreign kings. It was time to put it out of it’s misery… it was time for the final blow. If you’re watching this part with your political uncle who has no filter, you should probably click off now because he’s going to quote what

34:53happens now each thanksgiving dinner till there is no tomorrow… ready? The blow that ended the Roman Empire once and for all… was uncontrolled immigration. Introducing the last villains for today, the Huns. They explode out of the Eurasian steppe in the late 4th century and they were so dangerous that they singlehandedly caused mass migrations towards Europe. When the Huns smash into the Goths north of the Danube,

35:19the Goths very intellectually decide to not stand still and die — so they run. And where do they run? Across the Roman border. Tens of thousands of Goths show up at the Danube asking for asylum. Rome lets them in. On paper, this is manageable, but in reality, corrupt Roman officials starve and exploit them so badly that the Goths revolt. As a direct result two years later,

35:44a Roman army is destroyed and the emperor is killed on the battlefield by the hands of them. That moment is important because after the events of Adrianople, everyone learns something Rome never wanted to teach: If you bring a whole nation into your borders, and you can’t control them, you’re not “integrating” them, you’re just importing your future civil war. So the west starts doing what it will keep doing until it dies:

36:09making deals with armed groups it can’t defeat. “Here’s land, please stop burning us.” It calms them for a bit, but greed can never be satisfied. And no, it doesn’t stop with Goths. Once the border breaks psychologically, the chain reaction begins. More groups move. Some are fleeing the Huns, some are just following opportunity. The Vandals go on a rampage across the west and eventually take North Africa — which is catastrophic, because North Africa is where the west gets grain and money. Lose Africa, lose taxes. Lose taxes, lose soldiers. Lose soldiers…

36:42yeah good luck. In 410, the Visigoths sack Rome. Not because Rome is militarily important, but because it’s really funny. then once the huns are defeated Rome the city gets sacked again in 455 because why not. And by 476, when the last roman emperor Romulus Augustulus — who has literally the most ironic name for this moment since he is both named Romulus, the name of the founder of Rome and Augustulus, named after the first emperor, Anyway, yeah he basically gets politely asked by HIS germanic

37:16commander to stop being emperor, and then the Roman Empire, is…. dead. Yeah sorry guys no epic final battle or anything, just emperor fatigue. Now to be realistic about the eastern and western roman divide, the term Byzantine is made up by modern historians so if you asked everyone back then if the Roman Empire is really dead they’d probably say no dumbass it’s right there

37:39but this video is long already and my pizza is getting cold. If you really wanna know, the eastern Roman Byzantines survived for a whopping 1000 additional years, and fought like crazy to survive. They slowly lost more and more territory to Persians, Arabs, crusaders and finally to the fearsome ottomans till only the city of Constantinople remained. In 1453

38:04the city falls gets turned from Christian to Muslim and with it, the last state that still called itself Roman fell. Yes I just skipped a 1000 years of interesting things, but I’ll make a Byzantine empire video one day to explain it in more detail so subscribe, become a member, and don’t forget that if you want pizza and make money by doing simple tasks,

38:23to check out freecash.com/historically or click the link in the description.