The Benefits of Using a Body Double with How to ADHD and Landmark College

0:00[Music] hello and welcome to distraction I'm your host Dr Ned Hallowell thank you so much as always for joining me we love our audience and we wish you tell our friends about us because we love reaching out to you and sharing the wonderful information as well as good cheer we hope that we do share this episode is made possible by our wonderful sponsor landmark College the College of choice for students like me who learn differently joining me today once again is our favorite guest the lovely talented amazingly triumphant in so many ways Jessica McCabe from how to ADHD Jessica I know you have uh an idea

0:52of what you would like to talk about you always do so I don't want to get in your way let me stand aside and welcome the so very talented Jessica McCabe thank you for that incredible introduction yeah I uh I wanted to talk about body doubling today because um a lot of us are are learning from home and things are even more challenging than maybe they usually are uh there's some great great advantages to learning from home or you know if you're learning on campus um being by yourself when you're studying or or uh trying to take a course online courses can be great they can also be really difficult because we

1:28don't get enough accountability we don't have anybody else around we're not getting the cues that it's time to work that it's time to focus the same way that you do if say you're in the library and everybody else around you is studying so you're like okay cool like there's that kind of social pressure to study um that we might not be getting when we're at home like at home you know we're kind of maybe getting pressured by things like the Xbox that keeps taunting us and being like d really need to study so one of the best things you can do is to use a body double um a body double in

1:58Hollywood means something very different than what I'm talking about in Hollywood a body double means somebody who looks like you who you know who looks like the actor who fills in for the actor U you know maybe does some stunts or whatever but is there so the actor doesn't have to do the thing if we have a body double when we have ADHD we still have to do the thing we just have somebody else in the room with us is really what it is it's somebody to sit quietly with you while you work maybe they are studying the same thing as you maybe they're studying something else maybe they're

2:25doing a completely different task but the idea is you sit in silence and you have somebody else present and for those with ADHD that can be really important because it can it can be so hard for us to stay focused and on task um you know the attention regulation is a part of our condition and our brains go so quickly that if we see a Quee to do something else like we're quick off and running doing that thing before we realize like wait I was supposed to be working on something else so a body double can help with that it can also help us just give us some emotional

2:54support to be honest because there's some tasks that we build this as Brendan Myan from ADHD Essentials puts it a wall of awful around we have struggled to do this seemingly simple task so many times and we've failed at it in the past that it's there's a lot of emotion that we have to get past to be able to start doing the thing um and so just having somebody else there can kind of be this emotional support as well in that way um it's like that for me with paying bills opening and paying bills is one of the most difficult things in the world it's not that it's

3:25hard like technically like I do a lot more challenging things with a lot more ease because I just don't have that same level of like Dread of like opening the thing and it's a boring task and I've failed at it before and I've ruined my credit and there's just so much around it that just having my boyfriend sit next to me while I do it is enough for me to be able to tackle that task otherwise I'm going to put it off for like forever and ruin my credit again so knowing what tasks you could use a little extra support for um one thing to ask yourself is like would this activity

3:57be easier if somebody else was in the room um another great thing about doing it is if you set it up ahead of time it's kind of like an appointment right like we tend to respect appointments more than we do like saying like oh yeah yeah I'm gonna totally play guitar today um we're not going to respect that as much as like we have a performance today like somebody's expecting us to show up and perform for them body doubling is something in the Middle where somebody else will notice if you don't do the thing and you've blocked out time for it um the way to find a body double if this is something

4:27that sounds like it might be helpful for you is there's several ways you can ask a friend and it can feel weird to be like hey can you sit with me while I do this thing so that I do this thing but you you'd be surprised at how many people it benefits how many other people are struggling with it too because Focus difficulty focusing isn't unique to ADHD it's a part of a lot of other conditions as well as well including sometimes The Human Condition so it it's beneficial not just to you but to the other person too because you can be like hey is there

4:52something you've been putting off that you need help with making sure that you do cool I'm struggling to do this let's sit together and just put our on mute and work in silence you can do it over Zoom you don't have to be in the same room you can do it online um there's also a website if you don't know anybody that might be willing to do this with you there's a website called Focus mate.com where you can set it up you I think you get like three sessions a week for free and you can say like hey at this time I need a partner I'm going to

5:21be working on this they're going to be working on this and then you just sit in silence and work together um if it if it is a friend I do recommend having a distinction between when it's like time to talk and hang out and when it's time to work uh the Pomodoro Technique can work great for this where you set a timer for 25 minutes and then when the 25 minutes is up cool now we get to talk for five minutes but then when that 25 minutes starts again now we're now now we're doing our work um because otherwise you know you set up a body

5:49doubling session and then you just end up talking to your friend for the entire hour and there are certain people that it might be hard to do that with like if it's someone you haven't seen in a long time it might be really hard to stop and study when what what you actually really want to do is just catch up on everything that you've missed um so it's good to it's good to know yourself know what tasks a body devil might be helpful for know who does and doesn't work for you as a body double and if you are being a body double for somebody else

6:13recognize it's not your job to make sure that they get their work done like you're not there to like lay down the law or anything like you don't have to keep nagging them to to do it that's their job you're just there to provide a gentle non-judgmental Pro you know uh presence really um yeah so that's yeah that's pretty much all I got do you have any questions no it's it's such a great idea I don't you think a dog can also function as a body double yeah in a way they can which is really interesting um I read once that sometimes they actually bring dogs in to classrooms to help um

6:50kids with dyslexia who are struggling to read who maybe feel self-conscious about doing in front of other people they'll have them sit and read to a dog to get the practice because that dog is not going to be judgy that dog dog is going to be absolutely welcoming and my dog actually does serve as a body double for me while I'm at work part of what I've trained her to do is when I'm at work she comes and hangs out with me and she kind of sleeps or whatever but I see her sleeping and I know it's time to work because uh at some point she's going to wake up and

7:18need to be taken for a walk at some point she's gonna want to play with me and so while she's sleeping is a great time for me to like sit down and focus so yeah dogs can make a great body double and sometimes yeah people who don't even know they're being a body double can be a body double um for me a great body double that I don't need silence for is if I need to clean up like if I need to clean my room or something if I'm on the phone with somebody I'll start cleaning my room because usually it's a horribly horribly boring task that I don't want to do for

7:45longer than three minutes um but if I'm talking to somebody I'm distracted enough that I can clean my room without getting terribly bored and so they end up keeping me company while I'm doing something that otherwise I wouldn't do and so you can do that even if they don't know they're being a body double as well yeah I mean music can serve that function plants can serve that function there are ways that you can feel input you know that that allow you to do tedious tasks yeah that's true um I think the the key with body doubling is basically just knowing that someone will notice for the most part uh generally

8:22speaking someone will notice if you're not doing the thing like somebody knows what you're supposed to be working on and when you see that person it acts as a reminder of what you're supposed to be working on and so you can set up other cues for yourself too like when I put on this certain music playlist I know it's time to study and if you get distracted and you and then you realize what's playing that's a cue that's a reminder like oh right I'm supposed to be studying the same way that a body double in person can you look at them and you're like oh right I'm supposed to be

8:48working on this thing so there's a lot of different ways to set up cues but body doubles can be a great way to give yourself the cues that it's time to work on what you're supposed to be working as well as just you know that sense of like positive feedback I guess like even if they don't say anything you know that they're seeing that you're working and so then that feels good and you can set up at the beginning of the session like hey this is what I'm gonna be working on this is what you're going to be working on and at the end of the session you can

9:11say this is what I got done so then you get a little bit of like I got to feel good I got to like somebody got to notice that I did the thing and that's that but I think it's also I think it's also Jessica the force of what I call the other vitamin C vitamin connect and I think just having a a human in the room uh it fortifies you strengthens you reduces your fear makes you feel more in control you know the particularly these days we living in you know with such disconnection when you when you have a person there um aside from the fact that

9:44they're watching or what have you I think just uh the force field that emanates between two people is is um is we we know it's a scientific fact how powerful it is and when there's no one there there's no one there I mean social isolation most people don't realize this but social isolation is as dangerous for your health as cigarette smoking yeah yeah and so there's you know it can be a great way to give yourself a little connection as well um one other thing that I do with body doubling is I have trouble um I have trouble stopping work on time and so my boyfriend and I started doing this thing

10:23where we one of us picks the other one up from work quote unquote like we're in different rooms but like we'll pick each other up and then we'll walk around and spend time together um and so we're getting we're getting body doubling because we're both you know making sure that we get exercise we're making sure that we get outside we're making sure that we stop working and that peer pressure of you know and that and that connection that we get is is really wonderful because it makes it so that we get the things done that we want to get done we get the connection we need we

10:50get the like the walk you know we get the exercise which can be so so important for ADHD yes um yes and it makes it easier it really does it just makes it easier to have somebody else be there with you when you do it absolutely absolutely well as always you are a treasure Trove of wisdom and gems always put in such a charming and pleasant way that's it for us today you can learn more about Jessica mccab at her website how to adhd.in [Music]

11:29website called patreon p a t r e o n like a like a um sponsor patreon.com slow to ADHD go to patreon.com how to slow to ADHD that's a wonderful way to support Jessica's work and other people uh who who need um uh need that kind of help and if you're someone who learns differently like me like Jessica please check out our sponsor Landmark College at LC distraction. org that's Landmark College LCD distraction. org Landmark College in beautiful put Vermont it's the College of choice for students who learn differently and please remember to reach out to us with your questions and comments we thrive on them we need them

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13:16Ned hell thanking you all and Jessica McCabe look forward to seeing you next time bye for now [Music]