# The Most Honest Video You Will Watch About Business

Channel: Leila Hormozi
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzgnD71hYrg
Duration: 1 hr 8 min
Language: English
Words: 14678
Transcript page: https://viewrankai.com/tools/youtube-transcript/XzgnD71hYrg

---

[0:00] A parent spends 80% of the time that they'll ever spend with their child by high [music] school. I have under 212 weekends left with my son. You are their hero till they're like six or seven. Oh my god, I'm so pregnant. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, I mean it's true, right? What does it smell like when you smell it? Like what does it remind you of? Cuz I think with for me at least like every scent is like it reminds me of something. I'm curious what this like makes you think of. So, when I was a kid, my mom had like a box of spices like this and all these little uh

[0:34] containers inside of them. And when she would open it, it would smell exactly like that really cuz it was never like a single spice. It was you open it up and it was just this feeling of spices. And the strongest one was the cloves. I don't you can call that out like you know which one smells like which. This

[0:51] to me just smells like spices. Yeah, I can smell the I can smell the cloves. Wow. This super strong. I can smell the clothes. When when that happened, like you smelling that with your mom. Was that when you were in India or when you were here? When I were in India. Interesting. Yeah. And she would use that little

[1:04] spice box to cook everything. That's so cool. Yeah. I'm curious like, you know, cuz I think about when I think about spices, I think about actually my family back in Iran because when I would go there, I would walk in and the whole house just smells like Persian, which is a little bit different than this, but like it just smelled like

[1:20] spice. And I was thinking about like how that must be for you. And I'm curious like in looking, you came here when you were 16, right? Your parents did a lot to get you here. Do you feel like you owe them in a sense? Do you feel like that's changed how you look on life is just like how they've been able to how you've been able to come here and you've done so well for yourself? I think my parents believed that I would have a better life elsewhere and they just thought that hey we're going to sacrifice everything for our only child and let that let him go and have a

[1:52] bigger better future somewhere else and people say well that's a sacrifice but I will tell you I have children right now there is no way I'm going to do that because I I would want to spend more time with them so I think the ability for my parents to say hey you can go have a better future somewhere else is amazing. I did feel a responsibility for a long time to

[2:14] make it worth it. Yeah. To prove them right that they made the right choice. Yeah. And that I actually was able to do what they thought that I could do. I still don't think that they think I've done what they think I could do. But seriously, I was just going to ask. I was like, do do you think that they

[2:27] are like so excited about everything? The craziest story was when uh when I think we were buying a house or something like that, my dad said, "Oh, can I send you some money?" And that was like the most fascinating thing. He has to send you money. Yeah. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, that's crazy. Have you ever told them like, "Hey, this is how much a company

[2:46] sold. Did they like see any of that?" No. Uh, once my dad showed up when we were in our first business, tell us. And he like stepped into an office. He's like, "Oh, this is not what I see online. This is actually real." But outside of that, I we never talked about anything related to dollars and cents. It was never that was never the conversation at all. We've never talked about how much I've made or how much the

[3:08] business size was or anything like that. All they have seen is hey can I send you a check? Why? Why have you never like is that just not something you talk about in the family or is it like a weird it feels odd? Like I'm cur because you know like when I first started making money the first thing I told my dad is like you know I was like hey like I know you have some debt like can I pay it off and he was like what no and then I remember like the line that got him was I was like the amount that I made yesterday can pay off

[3:33] your entire four-year debt and he just goes do it [ __ ] it. [laughter] Yeah. Exactly. And so and so I'm like that's so crazy. Like I can't imagine that like what that must be like. We never spoke about money much at all growing up. It's interesting cuz you have such good beliefs around money. I would think it would be like the

[3:52] opposite. You know what I mean? I think since we never had any I had to rewrite some for myself. Yeah, that's fair. And I was always attracted to people who would talk freely about it because I never had the opportunity to talk freely about it. My best relationships are those that I have been able to talk freely about money with. Not from a showoff perspective but just from a let me put a number to a thing so that we can actually have a real conversation

[4:16] about it. Yeah. But even till today never had and they still will send small gifts to the kids which I really appreciate. I think that's a that's a very Indian culture thing to do but we have never talked about. Okay. So when you go visit like you did last year or you saw them you were in Dubai right? Do they cook for you like um when my mom my parents come to visit my mom will cook here. So, we actually

[4:41] have a spice box for her here. That's cool. And when when she leaves, we put it in uh like a big ziplock container. You're like, [laughter] I don't want it. Well, I It's really pungent, right? It's really strong. I'm pregnant. This is like Yeah. [laughter] The taking shots. The There's a couple of things that are that are I could pick up anywhere. I can pick up cloves anywhere and I can pick

[5:02] up fennel anywhere. Dude, I don't even know what this is when I look at it. I'm like, that's a pepper or a [music] chili. [music] So, as we were talking, I was thinking like, what's the raw ingredient that nobody sees that is, if you had to say, like there's one thing that I've never told anybody or nobody's ever asked me, but this is like the first raw ingredient that could contribute to my success, I would say, is preparation. I'm just amazed at how many people just show up for the meeting, show up for the Zoom call, show up for the interview, and don't realize that they could have won

[5:37] the meeting, won the Zoom call, won the interview, won the day with just a little preparation. There's a great stat in college, right? They say when you go to college, for every hour in class, you do two hours outside of class. That's what at least they talk about from a credit hours perspective. And I just realized that if you're doing 8 hours worth of work, if you're if you don't have enough capacity to put in 16 hours worth of prep, those 8 hours are not really useful. And so I spend more time

[6:03] prepping than most people that I know. And so when I show up on a call, I feel like I need to be prepped. Yeah. I always think about if that call got cancelled, have I done all the work necessary for that call? If that meeting got cancelceled, have I done all the work necessary for that meeting? And even if you can show up in the meeting, that is the biggest cheat code to being to being prepped and being winning. And so now the second question people may ask is like, well, what do you prep at the end of the call, the meeting, the

[6:28] interview, whatever. Yeah. If I could replace that with a memo, what would be in that memo? And so if you and I have a meeting and if I could just replace that meeting with, you're like, "Hey Sean, I can't meet." I'm like, "No problem. Here's the prep." That would have all my contributions to that, which I think is the commitment to the preparation. And I think the preparation is the the part of the iceberg that nobody sees because I'm thinking to myself, knowing you, like, you know, if we're going through a process of, you know, trying to make a deal with a company or something like that, like you spend

[6:58] significantly more time prepping and posting than you do on a call, right? I think we spend significantly more time talking, making decisions, discussing than we do in the actual Yeah. And it's hard because it's like people don't see any of that. Yeah. And there's this great quote which says, you know, people only see the decisions you make, not the choices you had. I think a lot of the good stuff comes out in the prep. A lot of the good stuff, you know, you can work through in the prep. And I think today with AI, you can even prep better. So like after I've done prepping, I just feed everything to

[7:30] AI saying, "Here's my meeting notes. What do you think? Be the red team. Work through the I a lot my favorite prompt for AI is here are my notes for the meeting. Can you simulate simulate the meeting with me?" And it'll just go through and simulate the meeting. That's cool. Do you do that before ours? Well, not with you. You don't. You're the only person that's more prepped than

[7:48] me, which is like very annoying. [laughter] I feel like we're equally. You're like, man, even before I can send you the memo, you sent me the memo. But I have two kids. I'm sure I'll be the same amount of prepped as you. That is correct. But but I I really think that's super important. And if people just the reason that was important for me is I heard this quote from a mentor many many years ago and he said um to do great things we must do

[8:11] fewer things. But you got to do them well. Correct. And how do you do the fewer things? Well, you have to it's not you have to prepare. That's so interesting cuz like I actually do feel like we share that in terms of like my philosophy which is like every time someone comes to me like a business or whatever and they're like it's just not working. The strategy is wrong. Like 99% of the time it's the [ __ ] execution. It's not the strategy. It's like you haven't have you given it a 10 out of 10 shot. And if you haven't given it a 10 out of 10 shot

[8:36] then like why are we going to quit when you give it out a five? That's why having good partners is really important cuz sometimes they they are the gas or they are the brakes when you're not in that frame of mind which I think is super super valuable. The best advice I could give even my children would just be hey prep before you actually show up for that right? Did you prep for your classes? Did you prep for your meetings? Did you prep for the next day? the simplest of things. It actually shows up in how you do one thing is how you do everything. Um my my family will

[9:03] laugh when they're like, "Hey, we know that we know what dad's doing tomorrow because the night before I lay out my clothes, I pre-re what I'm going to wear." Like so. Do you really? Yeah. I just lay out everything the night before. So when I wake up, it's so simple. Like you just Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. It's It's pretty

[9:17] simple. You mean like I got earrings and necklace? No, I don't have all of that. Yeah. I mean, I do. No. No, I don't. But But you're you're saying, "Hey, here are my gym clothes. here's work. You just lay everything out and that way it's it's a five minutes of prep before and that allows you to execute on your day

[9:32] significantly better. No, I mean even for myself like when I have a day that I know is going to be really busy, like I'll re I'll schedule like a Door Dash the night before I schedule like I'll like pre like put drinks in the fridge. I like pack all my stuff like every little thing because I'm like otherwise I'm just thinking about it and then it's taking my attention which I think is a good point because how are you how can you be

[9:50] present if you haven't prepared? Yeah. Yeah, that is really interesting.

[10:00] Okay, so Chef Yuri told me something really interesting about the lamb, which is like you cannot rush it at all. Is something that just requires like the utmost patience and persistence, which reminded me that you did 39 interviews at Goldman Sachs. And so I was thinking to myself like, what do you think it takes to not quit

[10:18] interview 15? Why would other people quit? Why didn't you? I think the first part of it it was a challenge and then after it got to the point I was like well I'm already 15 in. How many more could it actually be? And after that it became a game. But the interesting part was nothing I think nothing is hard to do as long as you're good at doing it. I think for the first 10 or 15 I was really not that good at

[10:48] it. I think all the reps just got me better. Yeah. And so I think my second second half of the number of interviews and you're like I'm a pro was just significantly easier. Like I figured out the culture. I figured out the questions they would ask. I figured out I had enough experience in the interview. I would say I would actually start the interview with I'm so excited to be here. Um I probably shouldn't keep track, but this is interview 18. It sounds like they still want to double check to make sure that I'm the right

[11:13] candidate. And we would laugh about it. They'll say, "Who are the 18 people that you talked to?" And then I would I had memorized all of them. So I would reel them out in, you know, in order. And so they're like, "Wow, you actually remember." I was like, "Well, I talked to all these people. They're people. They took time out of my day to talk to me." And so you have the ability to signal thoughtfulness. So I just thought, again, preparation. I just thought about how can I show up in these interviews, especially the later ones, and wow them on simple things. Hey, I talked to all of these people. I talked

[11:39] to Ila and she said this, and I talked to Alex, and he said this, and I would just do it in order. I was in Philadelphia when we did this, and I was in Chicago when we did this. And so they also know that I'm willing to go kind of the second half of it. So I've just realized that at some point when everyone is willing to quit, I just try

[11:53] to make a game out of it. Well, let me ask you this cuz like what's interesting about that is like I think about that I'm like but I think the most like the biggest reason most people don't make it or they can't is because of the emotions that come with it. Like talking about the logistics and how to do it, but like most people like I'm so effing nervous. I'm so worried. I have so much apprehension. side. It's like you seem so composed on the outside, but like how do how do you actually manage the emotions of going through like 39 interviews, of going through, you know, selling and building

[12:20] and selling five companies of doing the things that you've done. I think most ingredients just like know ingredients here, right? Are it's easy to see but hard to do. And if you don't know what your next step is, you're going to guess your next step, right? So, um there's a you know, at Goldman, they always have this quote, if you don't know your options, you don't have any. M and so for my for me it was if I don't know what my next step is then I'm going to prep all the way to find my next step because then I know that hey I'm going to do all these things to get my next

[12:50] step all these things to get my next step and maybe the building of a business may be the going on interviews. I think it's hard for most people when they don't know what their next step is cuz there's unpredictability right cuz you you're like well should I take this option or that option? Should I prioritize this or should I prioritize that? I mean you're what do you say f the mood follow the plan like what is the plan you know what the next step is I always think about when someone says follow the plan but what is the plan the plan is that you always know what the

[13:17] next step is and knowing what the next step is gives you intain clarity because you can now choose okay well let me ask you this were there any of the interviews that you feel like you [ __ ] up or like they asked you a question that you didn't know the answer to Oh sure so [laughter] so well no this guy came in this was the markets were going crazy as in down uh I remember this guy, he walks into the interview room. He has like stuff in his bag. He puts it down. He pulls out of he he pulls out this uh you know this this

[13:44] leather binder out of his uh briefcase. He puts it on the table. He says, "You're a hot shot." And I was like, "No." He goes, "I've seen I've seen Ivy League hot shots come through here at every interview process. This is my client book. These are the prospects I want to go after. You think you're that good? Call call him and set me an appointment." This is interview 12 or what what have you. And I said, "Well, what do you mean?" He goes, "Open the page." So I open the page and then there's a name, you know, Christine Smith and the phone number and the email

[14:09] address. He's like, call that person. I've been trying to call them for 2 years. They are the CEO of XYZ company. Set me an appointment. And I said, I had no idea how to do that. And so I said, well, hey, I said, sir, I I am happy to make this call, but I have no idea what

[14:24] to say. Yeah. And I want to represent you. Well, and how old were you at the time? 25. Okay. Yeah, I was 25 years old. And so I said,"I want to represent you. Well, I have no idea how what to say on this call. Do you have a script that I can use when I make this call?" And he looks at me and he says, "Okay." So he gathers all his stuff. He puts it back in his bag. He shakes my hand and he says, "You'll do great, kid." And he walks out. And

[14:52] you didn't even I didn't make the call. I didn't do anything. And then I saw him later that end of that day at at the cocktail party and I said, "That was a 37 second interview. I either did really good or I don't know what. Can you help me understand what happened? He goes, I've been doing this 20 years. In my entire time, just two people have actually done some form of that, which is they accepted that they didn't have the skill to do the thing and they asked me for help. And so it just tells me that you're coachable. And

[15:19] I said, well, what did the others do? Well, the others tried to call. That's crazy. You're trying to like you're not licensed. You're calling from a random number. What do you say? Like that's so hard. So we got thrown a lot of those questions. I also remember Goldman is famous for asking really difficult questions that have no impact on each other. I will never forget this question. It was uh [music] tell me the best piece of advice you've ever received and relate that to the performance of the equity

[15:47] markets. What I was like I don't even understand this. I could not even answer them separately, you know. And so they were famous at answering those questions [music] and you could answer them in one of many different ways. And you can say, "All right, well, um, you can say in the macro, let me actually separate those two." The best piece of advice I've ever received was this. The equity markets are performing this way. If I had to tie them together, in 1980, they were like this. In 2000, they were like this. In 99, they were like this. Again, all I did was just apply a framework and separate [music]

[16:16] out the parts. So, the thing that I learned was whenever I get stuck, I just try to isolate the parts and then optimize the parts. Because if you don't know what to do, then you just keep breaking it down to the thing that you do understand and then you just understand that thing. So even if we're given a complex problem, yeah, you're like, well, I don't understand this big ball of mess that I have. How can I get everything to the most decomposible part and I can solve that part? Okay, cool. Now I feel a little confidence here so I can solve more

[16:39] parts. But that was essentially that was 39 interviews. That's insane cuz like I think about that doing 39 interviews and like I mean I'll just be completely honest like when I was doing my interviews and then finally the interview was not oh you do more interviews. It's like go get 20 leads and you get the job. And I did it but like I go cry in the bathroom. I go like [ __ ] my life. Like I'm like so emotional behind the scenes. So it's so interesting cuz I was thinking I asked you how old you were because I was 21 at the time where I remember that happened

[17:09] and I was like [ __ ] what have I gotten myself into? and then I would show up and like nobody would have a clue. But like it seems like you've just been able to go into like a like I just need to know what I need to do next. Like and I it's really interesting because like I've had to do so much more like I think emotional management to be able to do

[17:26] that stuff. Well, think about it differently. The question is most people have a lot of stakes. If I don't get this job, what happens? Do I have low status? Am I not going to, you know, are my friends going to think weird of me? I'm not perfect. I didn't like if I don't get this job, I'll get

[17:42] another job. It's funny because like I realized like my the the thing that I always held on to at least that like for that was like it'll mean I'm not perfect. And I was so fearful of like not being perfect until like probably four years ago. Far from it. The internet has other things to say. Just go on Reddit. [laughter] Every time I'm like if I feel like I'm feeling too good about [laughter] myself, you should just go on Reddit and read a few comments. You won't feel too good. Um, [snorts] [laughter] no, but it's it is funny cuz like I everyone's so different and I

[18:14] think it's like an inherent like I see it in my whole family which is like my dad, my cousins, all of them are just like really talented, really good, like amazing people but like so unsure of themselves and like that is their kryptonite. I think that's been like mine I've had to get over. So like when I think about doing 39 interviews, I'm like I'd be [ __ ] sweating bullets like so [ __ ] nervous in every [clears throat] interview. But I also think that the story that I told myself was the longer I am in this, the more people like me. Cuz there's no reason

[18:43] for someone to bring you back. Yeah. If they think with resources if they don't think that you're going to make it. So I was if there were three buckets of people, we love him, we hate him, we're unsure about him. I was probably in the either love him or unsure about him. I was definitely not in the hate him. As long as I was getting as long as getting the next date, as long as getting the next interview, as long as getting the next meeting, I I'm in I'm in this game. So,

[19:06] I I I'm I'm an in this game kind of guy. Okay. What was your backup if it didn't work out? So, you remember? So, yes. Okay. The best piece of advice that I ever received in this investment banking process was that when you have one set of interviews with a high reputation bank like Goldman, [music] you can use

[19:24] that to get other interviews. Yeah. [ __ ] people do that to us. So I I So yeah, so I I you know I reached out to Morgan Stanley Credit Swiss JP Morgan and said, "Hey, I'm in Goldman's third interview process right now." Um I just want to make sure. Yeah. And then [music] I I already had a Credit Swiss offer,

[19:41] dude. So smooth. Yeah. The hardest part was making the Credit Swiss call and saying, "I'm taking the Goldman offer." I feel like everything you're telling me is like the same reason that you got in front of the Sultan of Brunai. My god. Play tennis. Yeah. Mhm. Do you think that those same attributes and like that confidence and that like ability to like know your alternatives and not not be tied to failing is why

[19:59] you were able to do that? I think the Sultan of Brunai was uh a stroke of luck as well because I was in Dubai. I was teaching tennis and [music] they shut down the this resort that I was at and literally most people just went home because the sultan was essentially there and it was security,

[20:18] bodyguards, whatever. Yeah. And they tried to reach multiple tennis pros on that day and I was the only one that answered my phone. Really? So literally just like I was I was the only one that answered my phone. He's like, "Hey, the Sultan wants to play. Can you play?" I go, "Sounds amazing." [snorts]

[20:34] What was it like? Well, they patted me down first. I was like, "I'm in tennis clothes. This is kind of weird." Uh, but he There's nothing like it. Yeah. He was a decent tennis player and we played and [music] I taught him tennis and we played and I chatted with him on the changeover and it was really What did it feel like to like be in a

[20:48] room with somebody that powerful? I tried really hard not to make it about make it weird. Yeah. Uh and he [music] didn't make it weird either. And so I just asked him questions like, "Hey, how many children do you have?" And [music] and so it was very small talk oriented. It was amazing. What I've noticed with these ultra successful people is that

[21:07] they end up asking you more questions. So good moments. Yeah. So I was, you know, I mean, no, of course, like I I mean, I taught tennis to Bill Gates. He asked me more questions than I asked him questions. To Allen Aldo, who was an amazing actor. He asked me more questions. Michael J. Fox, he asked me more questions than I asked

[21:22] him questions. Wow. The Sultan of Brunai. He asked me more questions than I asked him questions cuz I was uncomfortable. I didn't know how much I could probe. Yeah. But they would just be like, "Hey, tell me where you went to school. Tell me about your parents. Why do you why are you doing this job? How can I be helpful? Like, have you ever thought about this?" And I I think that's a the curiosity is a a massive advantage for these successful people cuz they get

[21:43] ideas from a lot of different places. And it's amazing. They'll just ask really basic questions to know about who you are. And it also makes you want to do that too. So I'm just amazed at how successful people ask you a lot of questions. That's actually a really good takeaway because like I think about it and I know for me at least if I'm around somebody and I know that maybe they're hesitant then I start asking a lot of questions because I'm like I want to

[22:05] show it's okay. Yeah. You know it's like you kind of want to It's really nice when people do that. It sounds like you've had good experiences. Well the crazy part is you know in one in our workshops Yeah. we have the Q&A sessions and I recently did a Q&A session. Oh yeah. You did it last week. Yeah. And the this lady shows up and she's asking me questions. And then when she was done, I was like, "So I just

[22:24] start asking her questions." You're like, "Yeah." I was like, "Can you tell the group about how you you know how you got yourself out of production? Can you tell the group about how you made your first million?" "Oh, that's cool." And you instantly flip because I'm not used to standing there answering questions, but I'm probably used to more asking

[22:41] Yeah. asking the questions. Well, I think it's also like an interesting frame because like I think we share this was like I'm like I can learn from anybody like I have no there's no like oh if somebody's not as much money or a stat like I do not think that way. It's like I will learn from anybody and I do not that was like one of my first mentors said something. He said do not judge the source of the information judge the

[23:01] quality of the information itself. So good and I was like that's so good for learning. And so I applied it to like even if I hate somebody they can still give me a good piece of advice. Yeah. Um, which I think also makes it easy when you get criticism. It's like I might think this person [ __ ] sucks, but and might be like, is there

[23:16] something good in what they said? Yeah, that's really interesting. There's a great operating mechanism for me that I probably learned 1015 years ago. I don't know from where it said, assume every single person that enters your life was sent to teach you something. It's just so much easier because as we get more and more successful, you're like, hm, who's this person? Do they what do they want from me? What are they going to take from me? Are they going to use my fame? Are they going to use my money? What do they, you know, what do they want to be in and around me? As opposed to just saying, "Oh,

[23:47] what was this person sent to teach me?" It's a really simple frame, and it allows you to be significantly more kind, significantly more open. And if the energy is not vibing, you're like, "Maybe the entire thing that they were there to teach you is there are some people in this world who you're not supposed to get along with." And that's

[24:03] okay, too. No, it's true. I mean, I think about it when I, you know, I think about like I actually like the reason I like doing a a show that involves food is because I think about like cooking and baking, which is like even all the recipes I make that suck, it's like you learn something from it. And there could be ones that aren't right for you, but it's like I learned something I can take and put into my recipe. So, it's like, oh, I made this cake and the cool thing about that cake was they told me to use mayonnaise instead of butter. And what I

[24:24] learned is that mayonnaise actually does really well in cake rather than butter, but nobody would ever know that. It's disgusting to say, but like I took that and I said, "I don't like that cake, but I can put it in my cake." I think about the same way with people. It's like just take pieces of all the things that you learn and you can put it in your in your

[24:38] cake. The craziest part about learning after all of these years, I've just found that we as humans are not very good at taking best practices and doing them. I think that we as humans are much better at finding what didn't work for us and not doing them. Right? I think successful people, right? But and and so in a lot of times when people ask ask you a question ask you a question on the show etc. Hey tell me the one piece of advice I would rather it be the opposite. Tell me the one thing that you have learned that you will never do

[25:12] again. Okay tell me the one thing that you would learn that you would never do again. It's a good question. I think harshness does not have any redeeming quality. [snorts] I've seen extremely typ investment bankers, CEOs of companies just because they've reached that position in their career, they feel like they have earned the right to be rude, to be short, to be what have you. And I don't think you need to be harsh in any

[25:42] scenario. Were you ever during my Goldman days? I I was an [ __ ] I remember you said you were like I was an ass during Goldman. So I'm like and it's funny cuz I see you now and it's hard to imagine but I can imagine because so take this father for how you but like my dad when he was in like early career days I remember he was way meaner and like just like kind of harsh and like and like nobody can picture my dad being like mean to a fly but like I

[26:07] remember being like he's kind of scary. He gets like really mad and he like you wouldn't even think that now. He's like there's nothing good that comes from that. Yeah. I I think every it's probably helped all the highstake negotiations as well where there's no I can check my ego at the door. There is a chance to make things work and there's no need to be harsh about anything. So when people are really gentle and kind to me like my daughter who's 10, she knows the secret way to my heart to getting me to say anything is oh I just have to ask dad

[26:38] nicely and he will say yes to the world. And so but I don't think there is any redeeming quality in harshness. [music] What's the Chiron that nobody sees? Because everyone just sees like what's done, but I'm like, what's the Chiron that nobody has seen to date? [snorts] I thought that the only way to win in the world was to beat others. As in, it was a zero sum game. I thought everything was a competition. And if you didn't win the race, you you were a loser. That the world was only winners and losers. And uh it's like there's this great line from Top Gun that says there's no points

[27:26] for second place. And it was that's how I was the whole time. And so I just I would push harder and harder and to the to the point where uh you just built this I would do whatever it takes attitude. I get that. I'm curious like how has that and like who you were versus who you've now become evolved into like what do you learn from that and how do you apply that to the father

[27:56] that you are today to your kids? I think fatherhood is the being a parent is the hardest thing that you can ever do and it's also the most rewarding. I'll tell you the the thing that makes me very emotional is that I was with my friend recently and our children were playing and he says to his child who's my son's friend. He says, "Hey, you won't believe this. You guys have it so easy. You know, you you can play video games and you can uh order Door Dash and you can go out and play in the pool and you get whatever clothes you want and you go to the nicest

[28:33] schools and uh we you have people that pick you up and drop you off." But, you know, when we were kids, you know, we had to rewear my shoes all this time. I had to walk 10 miles to go to go to school. I couldn't choose the sports that I wanted. And he was trying to tell

[28:46] them that they have a better life. Yeah. Well, so on one hand, he's saying he's ridiculing them for them having a better life. On the other hand, what did all of us do? We had children and we said we want they we want to give our kids a better life. Yeah. We don't want our kids to go through the hardships that we went

[29:06] through. And early on, I just realized that you can't have both. You can either be mad at your children that they have a better life and not talk about wanting to give them a better life, or you can want to give them a better life, just give them a better life. And I think those two were like in massive conflict. And I see that happen with all these quote self-made people who don't have much and then they have much and now they don't know how to reconcile how to deal with their children, right? Because in order to be who you are, you would have to go through what

[29:39] you went through. But then once you go through what you went through, you're a different person and then you create a different life for your family, right? But like I'll tell you the thing that was the hardest for me was I don't want my children to go through that. Why would I Why would I wish dumpster diving upon my children? [music] Why would I wish not knowing where you're going to get a

[30:03] job from? Oh my god, I'm so pregnant. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, I mean it's true, right? Like you you would never wish that. Yeah. But we also know that [music] if they don't do hard things, they're not going to develop that muscle to win. Yeah. So the question then becomes, how do you help them do hard things in the bougie world, [laughter] right? Like that. And so there are ways, right? Number one, you get them to learn. You force the learning because you can't spoon feed

[30:36] learning to a child. They are at zero. They learn how to learn how to hit a baseball. They don't know how to hit a baseball. You can't teach them how to hit a baseball. Like they have to learn it themselves. Yeah. So when you teach somebody something from zero to one, they know [music] that they were a beginner and they got better. They learned to do hard things, right? I think I shared this with you is get them to learn how to f your mood and follow the plan. Cuz they'll come home and say, "Hey, Neil, take out the trash." Well, can I play my video game

[31:04] first? So I don't say no. I say, "Well, what do you think is the right thing to do?" Because at that point, they have the hard thing. Yeah. Which is they have to decide between playing their video game or making the right choice. And the right choice is what? Kind of deferring the dopamine hit. So if when they choose to defer the dopamine hit, they learn to do the hard thing, right? And most importantly, it's anytime any impulse control is doing the hard thing. And so I I think most children don't have a way in this modern world to learn to focus

[31:38] for a long period of time. And so this single thing is like for example my daughter Lara on Sundays, she works on math for three straight hours, right? But no one does anything for 3 hours and the the focus is really really important. I think that's the hard thing. So, I don't think that they need to go through what we went through cuz I would never want them to and I never would tell them about that. But I think it's our responsibility as parents to in our way teach them to do hard things in

[32:06] a bougie world. It's amazing. This looks really good. Actually, I was scared. I really wanted Alex to try this. He'd be like, "What the fuck?" He eat the whole thing, though. It's so good. Wow. Are you thinking about how like you raise a child and when the child's going to have so much abundance? [snorts] Yeah. I think it's, you know, it's so weird cuz like I feel like I get so emotional thinking about it right now, which is why I was like, what's wrong with me? Um I think about who I am and I am proud of who I am. Like I'm proud of like my

[32:49] character more than like accomplishments. like I'm like I've worked really hard to be like an honest good person, you know what I mean? Like I compulsively honest and I like pride myself on that. Um, but then I think about what I went through and I think about this, which is I think I had to go through a lot of hard stuff as a kid and I didn't feel like I had anyone who support and loved me when I was going through that hard stuff, which made it very depressing and anxiety producing and had so much stress as a child because I didn't have a present mom and you know,

[33:22] I was living only with her at that time. I think about it like I don't want my kid to not go through hard things. I want them to go through hard things. I want to challenge them and then know that they have someone who supports and loves and encourages them in the back like you know like being their cheerleader. And so my god I have so many hormones. It's so bad. But like I would like to be that for them. So like I think about it like like you know it's like [music] I understand that not everything is a correlation but I think about like who I am for the teammates

[33:49] that I work with and I'm like I always want to be like the person who believes in them when they don't have the belief yet themselves. Like they can borrow that belief from me. That's good. Um, so I think about like that like I want to push them and challenge them. It's like push out the

[34:01] nest, but it's like I'm the safe space. [music] You can always come to me like and I will support and love you unconditionally. Like there's no you don't need to perform to like as long as you're trying and you're like great. So that's what I think about a lot is just like what kind of mom I want

[34:15] to be, you know? [music] So you left home at 16, became the man you are today. If you could look back and give one piece of advice to your 16-year-old self, what would you say to him? Be where your feet are. I think the ambitious personalities tend to always think about the future. Tend to always say, "What can I do? How do I achieve my goal? What can I do tomorrow? Oh, how can I get there? And even when they do get there, even when I do [music] get there, oh, that's that's not a relevant goal anymore. I got it. What's the next

[35:03] one? Yeah. You're just the next thing. And there's this constant struggle between the insecurity of not having done enough in the past. Yeah. To I want more in the future. And there's I think there's little space in between of today. It's a easy way of staying present, but I never knew behaviorally what that meant to stay present. And so, and what does that look like like from

[35:27] an outside? If I'm with you, I'm only talking to you. That's [laughter] really good. Thank you. I I have that effect on people. Okay. Um I'm not a good cheer. Um, but but I think it's I think it happens in if you're working on a memo, you're only working on that memo. If you're working on the presentation, you're working on that. If you're if I'm talking to you, I'm only talking to you. I'm not You're not thinking right now about other [ __ ] going on in your life

[35:57] essentially. No. Yeah. And I think that has Why do you think that would benefit a 16-year-old? That's my question. Because it's a 16-year-old all that they are thinking about is the future ahead of them. Like what what can I do? And they I probably I probably have very few memories between 16 and 25 than I do from 25 to

[36:22] 45. Why? I just don't remember like I just I was like I want more. I want to I want to get out of India in the I was I was in the hunt. I was in the hustle. I was in the I wanted I didn't this whole stop to smell the roses is interesting. I just have no

[36:36] memories of any of it. That's fair. I think when I was that age, like I just have memories of like being in the gym, being at the library, being in my apartment, like playing like tapes over and over on success again in my head. And I don't actually like know what I did for a couple of those years

[36:52] besides just work. Yeah. And and I think that now just like when I'm with my children, I'm like, I'm here not looking at my phone. I only have 20 minutes with my kids a day like based on school, whatever. But you're just if you can't even have enough discipline to do that. I think most of our lives is like what why do we why do

[37:11] we have the success that we have? Yeah. Is to is to have that moment that you're happy with like let's say I I'll tell you this crazy story. So one of my goals a few years ago or my one of my lifetime goals was to ring the closing bell of the NASDAQ. Like that was like a bucket list thing. I thought at some point in my life I want to be able to hit that hit that bell. And what this was 18 24 months ago I was able to do that. And then I realized that that evening the happiest thing that I remember from that day was not ringing the NASDAQ bell was

[37:48] that I had dinner with like my family was there with me at dinner and I was there with them. I was just going to ask you like what did your kids think when you rang the bell? Yeah. They didn't they were like dad that was cool but can we eat pizza in New York City? Like that's what they that's what I that's what I cared more about. They from before I rang the bell to after I rang the bell, I I was not a different person. I was a different person in my head, but to them I was the same. And I think if I can be

[38:15] more present for that, it would just miss all the good moments in life otherwise. Do you think that like what's one thing related to that in parenting like you think you had to figure out early that a lot of people get wrong? I I I'll tell you I uh parents think that they have time with

[38:35] their children. A parent spends 80% of the time that they'll ever spend with their child by high school. Legit. Legit 80%. I have under 212 weekends left with my son before he goes leaves college. I track my and 420ish weekends with my daughter. It's on my dashboard. I track I track our metrics. I track the 10-year Treasury and I track the weekends that I have with my child and my my my both my children and it gets very real very quickly cuz every

[39:09] week it the [music] weekends turn down. So one weekend if I'm gone, that's why I hold my weekend's very dear because one weekend if I'm gone, that's one less weekend in all of this. That's so interesting cuz I think about that with my parents, but to think about it with your kids and like I will say like I was watching different parenting [music] like videos and courses and things like that and they were all like of course you were and they all said like so similar which is like the kids are so small for such a short [music] period of time like you only get so much time with them and then it just

[39:40] like goes by in the blink of an eye and I was like that is so interesting. Like by the time they're just not small anymore. I'll tell you um [music] you are their hero till they're like six or seven. That's it. [music] After that they have their own friends. My my children have their own friends. They're on on their iPads. They want to go on they play sports. They have sleepovers. [music]

[40:01] They go on trips. They have activities. They have things that they want to pursue themselves. Their individual personalities start to come out. But it switches overnight where you're not that you want to be their hero, but [music] you are the center of their world. and when you are the center of their world if you're on your phone the whole time which I was and I figured out a little later than I wanted and so now I'm kind of like

[40:24] trying to [music] catch up. No, I mean I think you listen we can only do what we learn how to do. So it's like once you learn it it's like put it into action. I'm curious cuz [music] like in sharing all this you've accomplished so much on your own but like who's the person like if you can think of one person in your life that you're like I could not have done it without them. [music] I actually and like somebody you actually rely on to

[40:43] help you. Who's that person for you? I think it changes over seasons in your life. Totally. Early on, [music] um, my mom was so focused. I was the I am the only child, so my mom spent every waking minute kind of taking care of me, supporting me while working. My mom said to me, she's like, "Hey, if you can figure out, the faster you can figure out how to read, the faster you can [music] travel

[41:20] to this different places in your head." I was not very good. I I was kind of dyslexic and so it's hard for me to read books. So my mom kind of figured it out, I think. So she started giving me comics, X-Men. [ __ ] Yes. Like all superheroes. [music] Yeah. That's how I learned how

[41:39] to read. Yeah. So cool. It I didn't know how to read and it [music] was way easier to read bubbles in comics. So funny, too, because I freaking love X-Men. So, when I like learned that that's how you learned, I was like, man, makes a lot of sense. Well, the the other thing also is I read so much X-Men that it makes you start to believe that everyone has a special gift. Like you have an ex X-Men power. I have an X-Men power and it makes you start to believe that you are special in some way. And it

[42:06] makes you seek to find that gift. I totally agree with that. It we we it is unfair to say that we're not gifted in something. We're all like, you know, the zone of genius, unique capability, whatever. But I remember I I'll tell you the craziest story. Like my my mom, I would tag along with my mom in any store that she would go to and I would ask incessantly for toys and candy and I just keep asking for stuff

[42:33] and I knew that she was going to say no. But at the end she would never say no to a book because we had an That's good. At home we had this unlimited budget for learning. So she would always say we have an unlimited budget for learning. Um, and so I I thought that, oh, I figured mom out. She's not walking out of any store because I'm always going to win. I'm going to get a book at least out of it. So on my on my best day, I might get a toy. On my worst day, I'm

[43:01] going to get a book. Mhm. But I always got a book and it was all because of my my mom. And so she'll sit with me and while I read and I'd be like, "Man, this is really hard." And she So I learned to read when I was I learned to read. reading got me

[43:15] everything. That's so cool. I also love that it was X-Men. Just, you know what I think about with acquisition.com is I think about like, you know, the school for gifted youngsters. Like I think about like I want it to be a place of like this is for gifted youngsters. Like I [laughter] don't know why, but like when we got the HQ, I told Alex, I was like, you know what I just think about? I think about X-Men and the school for gifted youngsters. I want people that are like really brilliant at something. Even though they have like a big down, you know, they're really suck at other stuff. I still want them to

[43:38] feel like they have a place here. And it was always like what I had in mind. I honestly I I don't think a lot of our teams suck at other things, but I just think they're very gifted. I I think I think we attract we're very fortunate to attract uh that caliber of people because they're just very driven. They're very talented in one or two things and they want to come and show up and do their gifts because I think that as a business, as a culture, we reward the uniqueness of people. We're like,

[44:02] "Hey, you're weird and like that's cool. Like we we love you for it and that's be more weird and do your thing and that's and let's find a way to support you around it." I just think it's really positive. No, it's true. Okay, let me ask you this then. When you think about all of the ingredients that went into your success, if you could hand one down to your kids and possibly just the next generation,

[44:26] just one, what would it be? So the the runner up. So the first thought that came to mind was kindness. Okay, that's a runner up. That's a runner up. I was like, well, is there a is there something that if you did you kindness becomes the byproduct? So I think if I if there was a way in you could somehow just give them unlimited work ethic that they knew that they would just

[45:05] energize a bunny. Yes. They could just work and they would be happy working and they could find energy in it and the more they seem that way. The Well, I mean it's just the more they work the more they it actually it charged their batteries the more they worked. Yeah. I think there's two types of people and I don't think it's good or bad. There's type of people who are

[45:26] really good at at working really hard. They get tired and they're to recharge. Yeah. And there a type of people that the more they work the more they want to work. The more they want to work and I it's not good about I think I'm the second and then so I can go a long period of time and then I can just if I take a nap I can just keep going a long period of

[45:41] time. Yeah. I can put in more hours than a lot of people. And when you put more hours in you realize you don't know a lot. You put more hours and you realize you have to prep more. You put more hours, you realize that you can accomplish anything. And I just think it makes you a lot of lot more of a kinder person if you can do that. So, I'm thinking maybe they'll get kindness as a as a byproduct as a byproduct of of work ethic. You know, my dad and I talked about this a lot. My dad every night my dad would um we would

[46:10] finish dinner and I will never forget this. Finish dinner in our one-bedroom apartment and uh my mom would clear the table. He would sit down with his leather binder and he would open a new page. He would write the next day's date on top and he would write this list of things that he was going to do the next

[46:26] day and only on one page. Uhhuh. And he would not come home until he did everything on that list and he called it like creating tomorrow today. Like he would he would write that in his fountain pen and he would go to work and he would finish everything on that list and he would come home. And that was the definition of work ethic for me. He's like, you build a plan and you do everything on that plan and when there's no plan, you just don't know what to do next. And call that a weakness, but I think that was a really important thing for me. And so when my I don't know how

[46:56] else you teach work ethic by without demonstrating it. I think you have to model it. Yeah. I don't think children can I think if children see if you think your children are lazy, there is a good chance that you're modeling laziness. I'm not saying you are lazy. there's a good chance you're modeling it or at least showing them that that behavior is okay or reinforcing that behavior in some way. A lot of times parents and think, "Oh yeah, I'm I'm really

[47:18] hardworking, but my children are lazy." I'm like, you are reinforcing something like what is what is that thing? And so is there a way to like hack that? But if there's any gift I could pass on, [music] I'm I'm just trying to do math in my head of how much insulin I need to give myself. [laughter]

[47:38] You're like, "How much is this?" You know, it's actually um it's a really great awareness thing from at least for me just managing type 1 diabetes is you've [music] your body doesn't produce insulin. Yeah. And so you really have no idea how much complex carbs you're taking in that are changing into straight raw sugar. So I have to do the math and say, "Oh, wow. I used a lot of insulin today." meaning I eat a lot of sugar sugar today and if I and the easiest way to not eat sugar is I just leave my insulin at home. That's actually a genius hack. So I'm curious

[48:17] after everything reflecting on your life dumpster diving, Goldman Sachs, pizza, X-Men to having kids and all the success you have now. What do you think is sweeter than the win and all the success? It's tough. Um,

[48:46] a few different things. coming home every night and as I open the door, having my daughter run up and hug me no matter no matter when. That probably one thing is super powerful. I think that's a culmination of a lot of things because at the end of the day, I think we do it for relationships. Having having a best friend that you know you could tell anything to and you won't be

[49:17] judged for it. It's really hard. Probably most people don't have someone like that in their lives, including their spouses or partners. I don't think they do. They can't brag. They can't say I'm going out with the boys or girls. They can't say that's just really hard. They can't say I'm feeling like I'm not

[49:33] performing. They can't say I got to win. like sharing the highest of highs and lows of lows is if you don't have somebody to don't have friends for that what what's the point the best of all that I wish for everybody is finding a place in their life where they can live and work in their zone of genius live and work in what makes [music] them truly happy without worrying about am I going to make more money am I going to get fame am I going to have status

[50:06] Yeah. And like that was a big reason why I came to acquisition.com cuz I was like, "Hey, I get to I get to work with my best friends and I get to do what I love and whatever happens happens, but I get to kind of do that daily." I think that's a very I just wish that for everybody because we spend all our lives searching for what? [music] Happiness. Well, what's happiness, right? Well, h if people really think that happiness is sitting on the beach and drinking a margarita, I will tell

[50:39] you right now that is you are wrong. Like you cannot do that for a very long time. I did that two times. Like it does not maybe it's my personality, but we were built to when I we were built to we were built to work. When I say work, it's not work on something. Yeah. and to create something from nothing to to fulfill this yearning in ourselves and the sooner we can find that the better. And I actually think you don't find that at a place you find

[51:10] that with people. That's really right. I Yeah. I don't I don't I mean you could put all the big brand names saying I want to go work at Google and SpaceX. But at the end of the day, if you don't you don't like if you don't do stuff you like with people you like.

[51:25] Yeah. Yeah. Simple equation. Yeah. And I it's easier said than done, but I think in a lot of that um if you don't know what that is for yourself, you will never actually find it. For you, that may be something completely different. For me, that may be something completely different. For chef, that may be something completely

[51:42] different. But I think a lot of folks spend their entire lives thinking that if I got a promotion, if I got a better job, if I got the title, like the the title, the title status thing is is such a mental hog that nobody cares about it. It just makes you feel better about yourself. And then if I got the money, well, great. If I got all of that, what would

[52:03] I do? And as soon as you get that, I think it's it'll I I think only then do you do your best work. I actually finally believe that I'm finally able to do my be better work in my life now than I did many parts of it before. I had I I had good parts of my life before, but I

[52:20] finally can actually do good work. I I get that. I think I resonate with that cuz I think starting acquisition.com was like I just felt like I could breathe. Like it was like, oh, I want to build this in a way that is like I could see myself doing this for like decades versus like years. And the goal wasn't like, oh, let's make a bunch of money and like not be poor. The goal was like, let's build something amazing and that's like challenging and something that's engaging in life and like I feel like it's not a waste of my

[52:44] life. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. I think there's also when you're able to do that, you're able to kind of think in decades, not days. You could take a much longer view of the world. I remember um a crazy story. I don't know if I shared this with you before. After our first exit, my partner Peter and I at that point, we were like, "Oh, we're so cool. We got this exit. We should start a family office and we should

[53:05] invest in companies." [laughter] We've done that and like it was very hard and so not as easy as people make it sound like it is and we invested in I would say net net I barely like broke even in like a 5 and a half year period and you would think that you're a good investor but no portfolio theory doesn't work like that and the single biggest change that we made after that was we said hey instead of building a 10-year plan we should build a 100red-year plan I remember you telling me that now So, we wrote a 100red-year plan and it was it changed everything that we were

[53:41] thinking about. We're like, "Hey, am I willing to buy a piece of this business and hold on to it for the next 100 years? Do I believe that technology is going to be uh, you know, more advanced in a 100 years than it is today?" Yeah. Do I believe that real estate is going to be, you know, more scarce in 100 years than it is today? It's way easier to make bigger bets. And we made better bets doing that because you bet on a fewer things and you bet on from a long period of time and it completely changes your time horizon from a risk

[54:09] perspective. No, I think that's really good. It kind of anchors you in what's actually important and you bypass your human impulse. Did Peter did he come from nothing? What kind of like background? Nothing. So my yeah he Peter 70 his father um rode a bicycle across the Alps during the Holocaust or like to flee from Germany [ __ ] What do you think like you and Peter have that people who aren't self-made and didn't have to go

[54:39] through that don't have? We talked about having our children do hard things, right? This is the hardest thing. I'll It's going to be hard for you as a to be a mom to hear this. So, my son Neil, I should He used to play on a club soccer team 2 years ago in a different club soccer team. And Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I used to take him to practice every night from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. So, it's a later practice. So, I would pick him up, drive him to practice, 30 minutes one way. I would wait watch him play, bring him back home three nights a

[55:13] week. His coach was terrible. Neil's a good kid. He was definitely not the best on the team. He was probably like bottom quartile. Yeah. But he was a good kid. He very coachable, very kind, followed directions, polite, good kid. But the coach treated him so poorly. He was so mean to him. Literally told

[55:34] him that he was the worst on the team. Never gave him chances to play, yell and screamed in front of everybody about him. No one figured out why. And so as a parent, I was unsure as to how to do this. Yeah. So I went and talk to the coach. I was like, "Hey, it sounds like there's a communication gap between my son and and you. I want to take responsibility for this cuz I I will take responsibility

[55:59] for everything." Yeah. Is it is can you coach me on how I can help make this relationship better because he wants to play for you, but it doesn't feel like, you know, it's being recognized well. And then he didn't give me one thing. He just rambled off how bad my son was and everything.

[56:16] My son knew this. Mhm. And it was like a the se this the season is like a eight or nine months. Yeah. And so this is we were like four or five months in. He still had three four months to go. I just wanted to pull him out of that team. Yeah. Because every time I would drive him to

[56:34] practice, he would not say a word. Yeah. [music] And every time I would drive him back, he would cry. He would do that [music] three times a week. And one day I came home and told my wife, I go, "This is insane." [music] Yeah. He's not learning. The coach hates him. The coach can't fire him. I don't know

[56:53] why. I just need to pull him from the team. And my wife said something amazing to me. She said, "What is that teaching him? [sighs] That he can quit?" And I was [music] like, "Well, that also is teaching him that he can get out of a bad situation." Yeah. It's like, you can look at it both ways.

[57:13] It's like, but he can talk to you. You're supportive. He could ask. He [music] could ask. Yeah. And so we decided that we would still love for love him. We'd still care about him. We would still take him to practice, but we would not let him quit. And he finished out a season. And I said, "You can do you can take a break. You can join whatever club you want, what [music] have you." And he

[57:34] did that. He gritted through it and now when things happen he still says, "Oh yeah, that was this is not hard at all. It was not it was nothing compared to that." He references that thing that he did and how he endured that because he has this anchor. Yes. Of the five words we say at home which is

[57:58] never give up and never [music] quit. And you have the anchor of dumpster diving. I just think that there is a never give up, never quit little thing that can [music] be turned on in you. I don't think it's something that you're born with. I think it's something that you turn on. I think it's a choice and at some point we just all have to realize that do we want to turn on that switch or not? Um I I tried to turn on for my kids. They can choose to use it or not, but just What do you think held the switch together for you? When my parents sent

[58:29] me to the states and made the biggest sacrifice of their lives, if I if I quit, I would be giving up on their entire sacrifice. I think that's what turned it on for me. Do you feel like at some point it switched where it went from like wanting to make sure that you did right by them to like a different form of motivation or do you feel like it's like served you

[58:49] and it's kind of stuck with you? I think it's hard to lose that. Um, I still see myself as a 16- year old that just came, you know, came to the US because you don't you don't know. That's that's the only kind of frame of reference that I had. I don't have any memories before that. That was the memory that I have. But that's the easiest. Everyone has like these frames in life. I'm like, you compare yourself to that. You're like, man, I can take on more risk because I could do that. So, there's a lot of capacity for risk. in thinking about that and like like

[59:21] thinking about how everyone perceives you and your story and like the success and everything. Is there any piece of it that you feel like you're just like people just still don't get this piece or like there's like this one piece they're always hung up on or they misunderstand? Cuz I feel like I have those things where it's like there's always the thing that surprises people when they meet me or they talk to me or

[59:36] something like do you have that? I don't. It's a really good question. I've never thought about it that way but I feel like the average person equates the success to money. So they measure your success by how much money you have, which is why I try not to talk much about it. Like so you you can you can Google as much as you want. You'll you'll rarely see me try to say, "Hey, I

[1:00:00] have X." Or I try really not to do that. Be smart with your money, too. No, I I really try not to do that because not for any other reason that I just don't think it's I think it's a byproduct. Yeah. Um I feel similar like it's like you create value which creates money which then sometimes I think about well drug dealers make money but I'm like okay well at that point you're just like yeah well I don't know if I shared this I'll tell you a crazy story when this was three companies ago but tell us my wife was working we borrowed everything that we have to

[1:00:34] buy out partners and buy into the business. Uh I took no comp for 18 months at that time. Yeah. So we were living on one salary because my wife was working and we both agreed that we would freeze lifestyle so that it would not put us in a difficult position. Yeah. This was 14 years ago. We still live on the same monthly nut in

[1:00:55] the la for the last 14 years. [ __ ] We have not changed that monthly nut. And you probably wouldn't change that about yourself. No. So we just decided that okay we we splurge on vacation. That's the thing. But out outside of that, our operating monthly nut has been the same number for 14 years. And that's like super ties back to what you said in the beginning, which is like one of your, you know, you're like it's about efficiency,

[1:01:17] right? And I think that's like one of the, you know, pieces to your success. It's hard to tell people what they should and should not do, but I I'll I'll try. If one thing that pops up, yeah. Um, justifying why you want something. For example, hey, I want a Lambo because chef has a Lambo. No, I want a Lambo.

[1:01:37] Sure. Right. Yeah. I want a Lambo. I just want a [ __ ] Lambo. Yeah. It's It's So I think the the the things that I've figured out that I want in life are the ones that I don't want without any justification. Like I want like I I want a jet. Well, because there's no because great. So the more we can start if you find if we find ourselves justifying the because Yeah. you're probably doing it for the

[1:02:04] wrong reasons. Yeah. It's so interesting you say that cuz like that was actually a lesson I learned probably [sighs and gasps] I want to say like six years ago. I had a friend, she was like, "Why do you have to tell people why you want to or not want to do something?" Yeah. And I I would be around her. I'm like, "Hey, do you want to go do this like

[1:02:18] this weekend?" She's like, "No." And I'm like, "Oh, oh, why?" She's like, "Oh, I'd rather do this instead." And I was just like, "Wow, how free." And I like had so much respect. So freeing for her. Yeah. It was my friend named Brooke. And just like did whatever the [ __ ] she wanted. so unapologetically and I was like I just need like a little bit of that and so it's helped me a lot even with like Alex like he's less materialistic than me right and like I think you know as as somebody like giving gifts is like my form of like it's a love language for me you know

[1:02:46] it's like how I show people I like them is like giving them stuff and I think I also like I like receiving stuff and so I also receive for [laughter] myself you know like I give myself things to receive and so or I like tell him things I want and I'm like get it for me you know what I mean and it used to that I wouldn't want to ask because I just felt like well why why should I want this thing that has no inherent value and is materialistic and all this stuff and then I was just like that feels so shitty like there's so

[1:03:11] many few things in life that you can enjoy and like it's like why do why must we remove all pleasure and joy from like things that somebody just might like for whatever [ __ ] reason who cares yeah I heard this you know you you talk about kind of freedom in life like when you have when you've achieved the success it's there's three buckets of things that people generally do in life the things that you have to do Yeah, you have to be a good parent. You have to take care of children. You have to take care of the have to do bucket. The

[1:03:35] things that you want to do. And you're like, man, I want to go hang out with Ila. I want to, you know, eat chef's cooking. I want to do these things, right? Um, and the third is the things that you should do. Hey, I I should probably call that person back. I should probably unblock the person on Instagram. I should probably I should probably I should should. The greatest part of our life is that if you can just

[1:03:58] eliminate the should bucket. Yeah. You should yourself. Yeah. Yeah. You just You're [ __ ] yourself. You're [ __ ] If there's no more shoods, then it's either you have to do it because it's a responsibility or you want to do it because it's a desire. And the want does not need a justification for it. Hey, I want to go to the Cayman's. Well, I want to go to the

[1:04:17] Cayman. I don't [ __ ] want to go. Yeah. I want a new car. But the opposite of that is true, too. Hey, um, do you want to go to dinner? No. Great. like I don't have to give a reason or anything like that. Yeah. And I think the sooner people can just be comfortable with not justifying their desire,

[1:04:34] I think life just gets a lot simpler. Didn't Didn't you um Didn't you like do some kind of pastry chef thing? Yeah, I did. But then um I worked in a kitchen for like a year and [snorts] they were so [ __ ] mean that I was like, I hate this environment. Really? Yeah. Like I don't know if it was just like the chefs that I worked with, but they were all pastry chefs. And like I would get the ingredients and get the recipe and then they'd be like, "Oh, like whatever. Do you like this?" And I'd be like, "I'm going to change something to make it better." And I got

[1:05:05] in so much [ __ ] trouble. Like one time, I'll never forget. I tell this story a lot. I had made like 350 cookies for this banquet and I tried the first batch and they were too dry. And I was like, "By the time they get to the banquet tomorrow, they're going to be like crunchy and gross." And so I was like, "Okay, I'm going to add a little bit more butter. I'm going to take out a little bit of flat. I'm going to adjust the cooking time a little bit." And so they'll be a little chewier and so

[1:05:27] they'll last, you know, for tomorrow. And she came over and I just will never forget, she just looked at the cookies and she was like, "What is this?" And she starts grabbing all the cookies and just like [ __ ] just ripping them all in half and throwing them in the gr and taking the sheets and just tossing them in the trash. And I was like, "What are you doing?" And she was like, "You did

[1:05:44] not make them according to the recipe." And I was like, "Because the recipe sucked. Like they weren't good cookies." And she was like, "But you need to follow the recipe." And I was like, "But the recipe sucked." And I kept coming over that over and over again. I remember like I was in a a restaurant when I did like a stint there and you know, you're like a assistant sue chef, whatever you want. It was at a pub so it wasn't exactly you know um it was like a you know like a like a American restaurant and I actually remember like making the soup and then putting the

[1:06:11] cheese on top and there was so much [ __ ] oil in the soup. I was like this is disgusting. I don't want to serve this to the customer. Like the soup needed to be stirred more. And so I took the cheese off and I stirred the soup and I removed some of the oil and spooned it out cuz I thought it was disgusting the more it sat and you're going to serve it to the customer. It looks gross. And I remember like I did that. I put it all together. It looked way better. And he was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Removing

[1:06:31] the the disgusting oil from the top of the soup." And he was like, "That's not what the soup is supposed to be. You're supposed to leave it in." And I was like, "I don't think the customer is going to be happy with this. Like it looks unsightly and like it wouldn't taste good." And he was just I remember he like took a bowl and threw it on the ground and smashed it. And I was just like, I'm not built for this. [laughter] I was like, everyone is so emotional

[1:06:50] here and I'm just not an erratic person. So, it was so hard for me to like be around people who are just like smash and [ __ ] everything and like, you know what I mean? That's crazy. And so, I was just like, whatever, I'll just do it as a hobby. And that was

[1:06:59] pretty much what happened. I think it's crazy that you say that because the grass always seems greener if if you told somebody that, oh yeah, I'm going to be a chef. I mean, unless you're working with Chef Yuri, like it's not a fun environment to be in all the time, but you have no idea. There's it's there's stressful things that can happen

[1:07:16] across the board. Thousand%. And not one role is not better than one industry is not better than the other. One role not better than there's every everything has its own heart. And it might have just been that I got two really shitty bosses in a row and I made a snap judgment.

[1:07:34] Okay, so the food's done. Do you feel satiated? Like was it good? It was so good. I'm so so stuffed. [laughter] I'm so full. It was so good. Really? Okay. That's good though. I'm glad. So good. I love it, dude. Tron, super exciting. Thank you for being one of the first. I love you and this was fun.

[1:07:50] Love you, too.

[1:07:58] [music]

[1:08:09] [music]

---

About this transcript
Read from YouTube's own caption track and laid out by ViewRank AI (https://viewrankai.com).
ViewRank AI finds the videos already beating a creator's own average on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube Shorts, transcribes them from the audio itself in more than 60 languages, and turns what worked into new ideas and scripts.
Free transcript tools, no account needed: https://viewrankai.com/tools
How to read any video this way: https://viewrankai.com/llms.txt