# What To Do When You Need To Start, But Can’t

Channel: How to ADHD
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q99DnvRY614
Duration: 19 min
Language: English
Words: 4237
Transcript page: https://viewrankai.com/tools/youtube-transcript/Q99DnvRY614

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[0:00] Hello Brains, I am very excited for this video. When I asked you what the biggest struggle you as a community are dealing with and what you want strategies for, there was no competition. The number one thing that this community seems to be struggling with and needs support for is task initiation. Getting started on tasks, particularly tasks that you don't want to do. I know lots of VDC coaches, lots of great strategies, but for this

[0:22] video I wanted to hear your strategies. What are some of the more unconventional ways that you use to get started on tasks that actually work. [music] So for this video, I'm going to read and react to your strategies. And as a thank you for participating, for watching, at the very end I will share one of my

[0:41] favorites from ADHD coach Dusty Chipura. All right. Let's see. Sometimes I intentionally procrastinate on less important tasks to get a more important one done. This can work for going out or doing a hobby. I give myself something minor to put off on purpose. It doesn't always work. Sounds silly, but it's about the internal mind

[0:59] games. I absolutely do this. Sometimes when I'm kicking myself for not doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing, I'm like, isn't it great that there's something that I'm supposed to be doing to put off so that I can get this other thing that I also needed to be doing done. The classic example for me as a writer is my kitchen is so clean when I have to write and I don't want to write that I think

[1:20] it's just maybe an ADHD friendly thing. Just always be writing a book. Always be trying to write a book [laughter] and your kitchen will be much cleaner and your other things will get done because compared to the eh of having to sit down and write, almost everything seems more doable. For me. Just me. Let me know. I like that. Like I did a video a while back on procrastinating that argued that maybe some forms of procrastination are actually good. Uh it's called and in which I encourage people to, if you're going to procrastinate, procrastinate mindfully. You can check

[1:53] out that video here. Comment number two. Oh, I know where they're going with this and this is brilliant. I have not heard this one before. I love it. I have this trick I do where I count myself in like you do before starting playing an instrument. I grew up learning drums, so it's kind of just in my brain that you start at four. I do it a variety of ways depending on how much time I need before I can do it like one and two and one, two, three, four. Or one, two, one, two,

[2:17] three, four. Where quaint more varieties of in between words can give me a little bit more time. I also sometimes just do the count slower or faster as well. This is brilliant. I do do this already sometimes with my kid, not in terms of music counting in, but if you tell a kid, "Oh, yeah, pick out a shirt." And they are two, they will take 5 minutes to pick out a freaking shirt, and they may not even do it by then. But if you give them 5 seconds to pick out a shirt and you start counting, they will do it on count three. Like one, two, and she's got a shirt. She's

[2:50] got a shirt in her hand. It's amazing. It's amazing. But I like this because it kind of gets you into a rhythm, and honestly, whatever. Whatever gives you a starting gun. I think a lot of the time what's so hard about task initiation when you have ADHD is that there is no starting gun. You can start in 1 minute, you can start in 5 minutes, you can start in an hour. If a task isn't urgent, there's no clear and now and go. So, this gives you a clear and

[3:15] go. I like it. Oh, this is clever. I'm getting really excited. I sometimes get my partner to start doing the task and then ask me to help with the understanding that once I'm going, she can go do something else. Yeah. Oh man, that's brilliant. I have such an easier time, like a lot of people with ADHD, helping someone else with what they're doing than trying to

[3:36] do my own stuff. So, it's so brilliant. It would probably work even if you really know what's going on and you just told them to do it. Like they don't even have to probably give a great performance of actually intending to do the task. If my partner is like, "Oh, no, I'm trying to start the laundry, and I can't find the detergent." I'd be like, "Oh, it's right here." And then I'm up the stairs helping and okay, I might as well take over now that I'm here. Part of why I think that helps is the strategy that Dusti Zapora teaches her clients, which again, I will get to

[4:03] at the end of the video. So hard not sharing it immediately. Comment for it. This little guy, and it's just a picture of a mad octopus. [laughter] That's his get to work mode, but that only works occasionally because I always forget to turn it back into your good mode, which is the happy octopus. This is a really pretty version of it, but the mad octopus and happy octopus was the mascot for the last neurodivergent, and I came home with

[4:26] one. My daughter freaking loves it. There's mad octopus and happy octopus. We play with it all the time. I love that this person is motivated by a disapproving octopus. But then sometimes forgets to turn it into the approving octopus, so is just like, "I'm happily working." And I look over and I see an octopus being mad at me. It's funny. What this brings up for me is play. Especially if what we need to do is important, it can feel very

[4:49] serious. But ADHDers do well with play. Dopamine, right? Like it's fun, it's novel, it's stimulating to our brains, it's more motivating a lot of the time, and definitely healthier and happier for us than punishment. Yeah, play. Play, play, play. Comment five. I'll decide the tiniest, smallest first step and convince myself that is all I'm going to do. Like create a Google Doc and give it a title, or clear the table, but not plan to do the dishes. Then later I do it again. Like in the Google Doc, write a couple bullet points of things already in my head, or put two dishes in the dishwasher. Eventually, one of those

[5:21] times through, I get some momentum and can make more meaningful progress, but I can't let myself think that's what I'm trying to do. I'm always setting it up so it'll be easier later. Okay, so that's brilliant. Yeah, starting tiny, tiny, tiny. Tiny, tiny, tiny. If the first step feels too big, it's not tiny enough. Just open your laptop. Just format the document. For me, writing the book, which is a really daunting thing, especially because like I already wrote a book. I got to do another one. I already said all the things that I want to say. So, this second book is like, "Oh man, I got to learn all this stuff

[5:51] from scratch? Like, oh my gosh, where do I even start?" So, just opening up Scrivener, just starting a new document, just putting folders in Scrivener so that I've got buckets for the thing. Like, just starting tiny tiny. And the nice thing about it is it can be enough to give you the momentum that you need. Let me just do 5 minutes. I'm just going to write for 5 minutes. And then you might be like, "Oh, now I'm done." Now that I'm writing, I can write for half an hour. I can write for 2 hours. I can write for the next, you know, 10 hours until my alarm goes off and tells me to

[6:21] go home. But, even if it doesn't give you that momentum, it does set you up so that it's easier next time. I really really like this. This is just so kind and compassionate and just smart. Sometimes I make up dumb little songs like, "Time to do my taxes, taxes, taxes. Time to do my taxes, stupid tax." I don't know how the song goes. "This is really crappy, crappy,

[6:43] crappy, but I'm going to do it anyway." And I keep singing it while I get up and start. I find myself doing this a lot as a mom. It's helpful for my kid, but really it's for me. [clears throat] If anybody needs help brushing their teeth, there is a great brushy brush song. Brush, brushy brush, brushy brush,

[6:59] brush. It plays for 2 minutes. It goes for 2 minutes. The entire time you're supposed to be brushing your teeth. You can have a song playing. Brush, brushy brush, brushy brush, brush. If I'm stuck on the couch or in bed, I ask my husband to make the call. "Autobots, roll out." They like otters.

[7:14] And I have to get up. No exceptions. It's been a huge help because as an official Autobot, I have to respond to the call and roll out. It's super silly, but it's the only thing that has consistently helped me at least get up to switch tasks. That's so cute. I love this. Aw. This is another starting gun, right? This is a way to say, "Okay, it

[7:34] is time to do this now." And it's playful. Brilliant. One of the hardest things for me when it comes to task initiation is when I am overwhelmed with the amount of things that I need to do and they all feel really important or like they kind of all need to happen right now. And at the same time there's no like clear starting gun. None of them have to be done at a certain time, so it's hard to know what to do first, when to start. I don't know if it's just me, but as someone with ADHD I'm like planning my day feels like a waste of

[7:58] time. I've got so much to do. I just need to get started. Really, like every time I actually take the time to plan my day or week, I am so much more efficient that it I'm realizing like it is my brain lying to me. It actually makes you more efficient. You actually get more done. Um but it still feels like long and forever taking. So what I like about Sunsama is that it speeds up the process. If you haven't heard of Sunsama, it is a system for planning your day or week in a way that you get to the things that are important to you without burning out. It will help you

[8:25] step-by-step plan your day, encourage you to bump back tasks that can wait when you realize this is not how time works. If you do not have time to do all of the things, you do not have to do all of the things. Sometimes all we have the bandwidth for is getting things out of my brain and into Sunsama. Um I'm not even worried about like how long the tasks are going to take me um or accurate time estimates. I just need them out of my brain and in order. The two things Sunsama helps with for me with task initiation is knowing what I need to be doing right now because it's

[8:52] not telling me I need to be doing 15 things at the same time like my brain likes to do. It's saying this is what you're working on now. Um but then also having that like starting gun, having that play button that says, all right, this is what you're working on now, that count up timer that says, yes, this is what you're doing and this is how long you've been doing it. If you want to try out Sunsama, you can. Go to Sunsama.com/a/jessicafromhowtoadhd and you get 30 days free without even putting a credit card in up front. So you can try

[9:18] it out and see if it's helpful for you. I've talked about Sunsama for a while now. If you've used it, if you've tried it, let me know what you think in the comments below. I'm actually really curious. I know that they would also appreciate the feedback. If I'm stuck in bed on my phone, I do one of two things. One, pick a decently common word and as soon as I watch a video or see a post that says it, I put my phone down and

[9:36] leave it up to the universe to decide. Huh. Or two, I throw my phone onto something soft and out of reach, which forces me to get up, which is usually enough to get going. I love that so much. Hey, I'm not getting up because I'm on my phone. Well, now I have to. What am I going to do? Sit here and be

[9:52] bored? Now I have to go get my phone. Oh, that's brilliant. Brilliant. I like this so much. It might not entirely count for getting started, but I have 100% done the literally leash yourself to an area so you can't get distracted and wander off thing. Starting paperwork by literally tying oneself to a desk feels like it

[10:14] fits the unhinged definition, though. Yes, yes it does. I haven't actually leashed myself, but I have used a baby gate before in my kitchen because for a while I would start doing something in the kitchen and I would just literally wander off. Like I wouldn't even remember that I was cooking until I came back to something burnt. So, for a while I had a baby gate at the entrance to my kitchen, so I would run into it on my way out and realize, "Oh, right. I was

[10:37] supposed to be doing the thing." Sometimes wearing a tiara helps. I have one at work and at home. I'm going to try that. Oh my gosh. Oh, I don't have a tiara, but I have a study hat that helps me. I I wear it sometimes. It is now the profile photo for this channel. That is me in my study hat. When I put my study hat on, it is time to study. Cues. Cues can help a lot, right? I've got a virtual office and I have a library that I built for myself in this virtual office and my writing chair. If I'm in the library, I

[11:07] might be doing research, I might be putzing around, but if I am sitting in my writing chair, that means I'm writing. I do not sit in my writing chair until I'm ready to write. I've just got that cue now. As soon as I sit there, I start typing. What I love about the tiara is there's something just fancy and dignified about this. I am amazing. If a tiara helps me feel amazing and amazing people sit down and do their work, great. I will wear my tiara and sit down and do my work. I am

[11:32] so curious how it became a tiara. I love it and I want to hear this story. I have games I play on my phone that have ads between each level. So during the ads, I'll load the dishwasher. Next ad, I start the laundry. Next ad, I take out the garbage. Next ad, I am so going

[11:46] to use this. I'm so going to use this. After 2 hours of gaming, my house looks like I spent 30 minutes cleaning it. Well, it's better than nothing. No, that's great. That's really great. I kind of do this. I have a game on my phone that I refuse to pay any money for. Makes it more challenging and fun, but it also keeps me from like impulse purchases. When I run out of energy or whatever and I need to do the thing where I watch ads to get more energy, I totally have done that where I'm like, "Oh, I'm just going to put this down for

[12:09] a minute and change the toilet paper." Sometimes I create custom bingo cards for different tasks. It helps me get out of my funk and gives me simple targets to get things done. I love that. If you guys haven't seen, I have a 2026 bingo video here. We have how to ADHD custom bingo cards if you want to do a 2026 bingo or you can do task bingo. Use one of those templates. We'll link to it in the description below. Like a stupidly low stakes timer, 10 seconds. Yeah. I will often do the timer method, but what I'll do is I'll recognize that I'm not doing the thing that I want to be doing

[12:39] and instead of going, "Okay, well, I'm just going to get up and do it now." because no, I won't. I will say, "Okay, I'm not doing the thing. When do I want to be doing this thing by?" and I'll be like, "Hmm, 5 minutes. I want to keep playing my phone game for 5 minutes and then I will get up and eat breakfast or then I will, I don't know, sit down and write or whatever it is." That way I can guilt-free continue to do what I felt like doing, but then when that timer goes off, I know I've already given myself grace, so I'm less likely to give

[13:06] myself grace again if that makes sense. Like, "Well, I already gave myself 5 minutes. I knew that I needed to get started. I gave myself a reasonable amount of time to like put this thing off. Now I got to honor it." Doesn't work for everybody, but it works pretty well for me. As a therapist, when I have to push myself to write progress notes, I'll make little challenges like writing

[13:21] in iambic meter. [laughter]

[13:29] So, I'll start a note that way, but rarely ever complete a note that way. It doesn't matter. Once I begin, I can keep going. That's the point. I am noticing a pattern here. Playfulness. Playfulness is a big part of it. I'm noticing two patterns. I'm noticing playfulness and I'm noticing making it super super tiny. Also, enlisting help. Comment 15. I set a transition task to get me from where I am to where I'm going. Like if I need to shower, the transition task might be go to the toilet. It gives me the momentum of getting started and once it's completed, I'm where I need to be to

[13:59] start the new task of showering and I feel a little accomplished for doing a task already. Yeah, all right. This seems like a good place to pause and go, okay. So, this is Dusty Chipura's method. Get task adjacent. Or as one of her clients puts it, just sidle on up to the task. You don't have to do the dishes, just go turn on the water. Well, now you're by the dishes and the water's running, so like might as well wash a dish. Maybe, or maybe you don't. But, half the issue is that we need to be somewhere completely different, doing something completely different. If we're standing

[14:30] at the sink watching the water run, it's a lot easier to get started on washing the dishes than if we're upstairs playing video games. Get task adjacent. You don't have to do the task, just get near it. Sneak on up to it. I don't know if you're sneaking on up to it or if you're more like

[14:44] helping the task sneak up on your brain. I don't know, but it works really well. Get task adjacent or sometimes just looking at it, right? Like you don't have to do the thing, just look at what it is that you're supposed to be doing. I talked to Brendan Mahan earlier. I was interviewing him for my next book, which I'm very excited about, called This Wasn't the Plan: How to Navigate Big Transitions with an ADHD Brain. And I was talking to him about Walls of Awful, which is his book that's coming out very soon. I wrote the forward for it. It was very cool. But, Brendan Mahan has a

[15:09] great metaphor called the Wall of Awful, which I introduced on this channel to this community and just still obsessed with. It's a great metaphor. But, what he said in this interview today was the Wall of Awful pops up the most around tasks that are abstract. So, it's not generally going to pop up when your

[15:25] baby's crying and needs a diaper change. You know what to do. You're right there. You can do it. But, it is going to pop up around things like I need to fill out this form that is somewhere in my inbox. I don't know where it is, right? The more abstract the task is, the more we don't know what we're even supposed to be doing, the more likely we are going to avoid getting started on it. So, sometimes just looking at the thing and making sure you understand what it is you're even supposed to be doing, right? You don't have to go fill out the form. Just

[15:53] look for it. Look for the form, and then once you have it, then you can create a calendar invite or whatever for yourself to do the thing, and then link to the form there. So, that the next time you're thinking, I need to do this. It's not I need to do this. Shoot, where is it? I don't remember. Like, how do I find this thing? I don't even know what this form looks like. You've already looked at it, and there's just a link right there. So, the less abstract starting is, the better. So, even something like, I need to write a book. What does that even mean? That's so abstract. And it's

[16:24] big and amorphous. Like, it's just I don't know what writing a book means, but I do know what opening Scrivener is. That's not abstract. That's a That's an actionable step. So, when we're breaking tasks down, part of why we break them down so tiny is so that it's not as daunting, but part of it is so that they're concrete. They're not abstract. They're actually actionable steps. So often when we're procrastinating and we're not doing the thing that we need to be doing, it's because what we're trying to do is not actionable. It is not possible to do your taxes. That is not an actionable step. It is not possible to

[16:58] write a book. It is not possible even to go to work. Like, that's not a step. Go to work is not a step. Put your shoes on is a step. Find your keys, that's a step. Go to work, it's not an actionable step. Drive to work, sure. If you're in the car and you turn the key, whatever.

[17:14] Like, you can drive to work. But, you can't go to work. That's not actionable. So, yeah, that's my rant. Anyway, thank you so much. This community is incredible. These are great. I have been doing this for 10 years. It is not often that I come across an ADHD strategy I have not heard of. Many of these are new to me, so thank you. These are brilliant. I hope that some of these were helpful for you as a community. For those of you watching, I hope that you found some of these helpful. Also, feel free to let us know in the comments below what helps you. Like, what are some unique ways

[17:45] that you use to get started and yeah, what helps? Let us know. Thank you to our brain advocates and all our Patreon brains for this incredible community that would not exist if it was not for your support because you are why I got to quit my day job. You are why I got to hire a team. You are why I get to do things like ask the community what they do and then make videos about it. Super cool. And if you want more community and you have not checked out our Patreon or our Discord, feel free to go and join us over there. There's all the time people

[18:15] who are happy to help, happy to talk, happy to swap strategies with you. People with ADHD from all over the world. You can go over there and join the most knowledgeable ADHD community on the internet. And I say that with confidence. All right. Like, subscribe, click all the things and I will see you

[18:30] next video. Bye, brains. I'm going to get started on picking my kid up from daycare.

[18:55] [music]

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