# Stop Setting Goals. Do This Instead.

Channel: Sahil Bloom
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvMEBzrDQVA
Duration: 20 min
Language: English
Words: 3179
Transcript page: https://viewrankai.com/tools/youtube-transcript/EvMEBzrDQVA

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[0:00] Actually achieving New Year's goals is notoriously difficult. 92% of people fail at achieving the goals they set out for themselves at the start of the year. Maybe that's because you're undisiplined. Or maybe it's because you're setting goals the entirely wrong way. And maybe by changing one small thing, you can make it much easier to remain disciplined and achieve your goals throughout the year. Most people set

[0:29] goals in the traditional way, like this. They say, "I'm going to lose 10 pounds, or I'm going to spend more time with my family, or maybe I want to make six figures." But they're missing one important thing that would make this entire process way easier and much more effective. What they're missing is setting anti- goals. And once you understand this framework and set your own, which you'll be able to do by the end of this video, you're never going to look at goal setting the same way ever again. By the way, I'm Sahil Bloom. I spent the last 3 years researching what makes people build truly wealthy lives

[1:07] and then I wrote a New York Times bestselling book all about it. Let's dive right in. Okay, so here's how we're going to break this down. First, we're going to start with the anti-goal framework. I'm going to walk you through exactly what it is and how it works so that you can start thinking about setting anti- goals for yourself. This

[1:27] will take no longer than 5 minutes. Next, we're going to actually walk through the framework for a few common types of goals. Losing weight, finding love, and making money. I'm going to walk you through the process and give you the actual anti- goals that you can steal and use to pursue these goals more effectively. And then finally, I'm going to talk through the number one trap to avoid when it comes to the anti-goal process. You can avoid this trap with a simple reframe that I'll arm you with at the very end of the video. So, now let's walk through the framework so that you

[2:04] can set and create your own anti- goals. I'm going to walk through the four steps of the framework and then give you the super specific examples that you probably already need in your life right now. Let's walk through these four steps. Step one, choose your arena. This is about establishing the domain that you're going to be actually working on. So, it could be money, it could be relationships, it could be your health and fitness, whatever that specific domain is where you're going to be

[2:33] setting your goals and your anti- goals. Step two, establish traditional goals. Think of these as the summit of the mountain, the thing that you are going and trying to achieve. The most traditional version when you think about setting goals. It could be losing those 15 pounds. It could be running a six-minute mile. It could be making that promotion. It could be making that certain amount of money. Finding your partner. Whatever that traditional goal is, that summit of that mountain, you're going to establish those here in step two. Now we get to the fun stuff. Step three, invert the problem. This is about flipping it on its head. Figuring out

[3:14] what is the worst possible outcome that could occur as I'm pursuing these goals. What systems would lead to that negative outcome in my life? What would actually be winning the battle but losing the much bigger picture war on this journey? What daily actions would I regret as I pursue these goals? Now we move on to

[3:35] step four. Establish your anti- goals. With those worst outcomes in mind from step three, you create that set of rules, that set of principles that's going to allow you to avoid those bad outcomes, avoid where you're going to die. If traditional goals are like a rudder on your boat, think of your anti- goals as like a map that tells you where the rapids are going to be on that journey. Or to use the mountain climbing metaphor, if traditional goals are the summit of that mountain, anti- goals are the things you are not willing to sacrifice during that climb, like your toes or maybe your sanity. You want to

[4:16] achieve these traditional goals, but not if it means these worstcase outcomes becoming real. Setting these anti- goals is how you avoid that. It's how you win the battle and the much bigger picture war. Okay, now let's make this super specific and walk through how to set your anti- goals across these three very common domains. Losing weight, more time

[4:39] with loved ones, and making more money. In this part, you're going to see why setting anti- goals is easily the best way to achieve your goals in 2026. The desire to shed pounds is practically universal. More than half of Americans say they want to slim down in the year ahead. So, let's run through the

[5:00] framework. Step one, choose your arena. Here, the arena is obviously health and fitness, weight loss. Step two, set traditional goals. This typically sounds something like lose 20 pounds by summer, drop three clothing sizes, hit the gym 5 days a week. These traditional goals are clear and measurable. The typical win conditions everyone talks about. Now, step three, invert the problem. Zoom forward to the end of the year. Two bad things could have happened. Number one, you didn't lose weight, or worse yet, you gained weight. Or two, you did lose weight, but were completely miserable while doing it. So now you ask, what could lead to the first bad outcome of

[5:49] not losing weight? A few things. Intense crash diets and then binge blowout weekends to recover. [music] The inconsistency. Over restrictive diets that burn you out. No healthy go-to meals or snack options. No weekly workout plan, just wishful thinking. Doing workouts you despise. not telling friends and family so you have zero accountability. Then ask the harder question. What does it look like to hit the goal and still feel like a failure? That second bad outcome. Well, you dropped 15 lbs but lost your joy around food. You isolated yourself to stay disciplined and spent

[6:33] no quality time with friends and family. You obsessed over the scale and hated your body more than ever before. You spent hours in the gym daily and neglected your work and career goals. So with that inversion process in mind, we move on to step four. Set your anti- goals. You take the inverted fears and turn them into simple rules. These are the lines you won't cross while pursuing your weight loss goal. For example, one, never follow a plan that feels punishing

[7:08] or unsustainable. Two, never start the week without a written workout schedule. And three, [music] never skip quality time with people I care about just to stay disciplined and stick to a diet. Make it fit into your life. As you can see, these anti- goals map out the pitfalls to avoid or the rapids from our analogy earlier. They increase the chances of achieving your goal and ensure you won't be miserable while you're doing it. You can pick and choose the ones that feel most relevant for you, the ones that will help you avoid where you're going

[7:46] to die in your pursuit of this goal. Spend more time with loved ones and find love are goals that hit close to home for most people. [music] About a third of Americans set New Year's resolutions that say they want to see their family and friends more often. 50% of single adults say that they're open to finding a committed relationship. So, the arena in step one here is going to be relationships, the fabric of social connection, spending more time with the people we love. whether that's family and friends or whether it's romantic love. Step two, we're going to establish traditional goals. If we're talking about friends and family, this could be

[8:28] things like family dinner four times per week, visiting parents once a month, weekly coffee dates with friends a couple of times a week. If we're talking about dating, it might be things like, "Go on two dates per month with new people. Say yes to more intros from friends or date someone with similar values that's looking to find something meaningful." Now, step three, invert the problem. Zoom forward to the end of the year and imagine two different bad outcomes. The first bad outcome that could have occurred is that you didn't spend more time with your family or friends. The second bad outcome that could occur is that you did spend more

[9:10] time, but it left you feeling miserable. So, what were the things that could have led to those bad outcomes occurring? Well, let's think about that first one, not spending more time with people. It could have happened because you were too busy but never audited your calendar to make a change. Or it could have happened because you were letting passive screen time kill any level of intentional connection. What about that second bad outcome that you did spend more time with people but it left you feeling drained? That could have occurred because you had distraction away from the connection. You were with people but you were constantly distracted. Or it

[9:48] could happen from hanging out with people but allowing those people to actually make you feel drained. The activities or the people you were surrounding yourself with physically and emotionally or spiritually pulled you down. So you have two different bad outcomes and you have some of the situations that could have led to those bad outcomes occurring. Now we're going to flip those outcomes into rules. A simple set of rules that's going to allow us to avoid those outcomes. So the first one, never allow a week to go by without blocking time on your calendar for that intentional meaningful connection. The second one, never allow yourself to have too much passive screen

[10:32] time during the course of a week. The third one, never allow yourself to have check the box time with family or friends. This should be something that you find meaningful, not something where you're just checking a box. And finally, never allow yourself to take on too much. When you take on too much in these social arenas, you allow yourself to feel drained and make yourself miserable. you actually lead yourself into those rapids that we talked about in step three. Now that we've talked about family and friend relationships, let's talk about dating. I'm going to clean this off and we're going to start

[11:06] fresh with step three and step four. Okay, now for dating, let's invert the problem. The first of the two bad outcomes, we actually fail to achieve the goal. We fail to go out on more dates. What would lead to that outcome? Well, letting work override romance, allowing yourself to be overworked so that you can't pursue your romantic goals, or you prioritize all of the apps, but you fail to have any level of inreal life connection with new potential partners. The second bad outcome is you achieve the goal. You go out and you go on more dates, but you

[11:43] make yourself miserable in the process. What would lead to that? Well, the first one might be you're going on a bunch of dates, but you are really indirect about the values and the things that you find meaningful in these relationships. The second one could be that you're going on more dates, but you're not really spending the time to vet these potential partners, and as a result, you're having more dates, but they're really draining you and making you miserable along the way. These are some of the things that could go wrong, the bad outcomes, the worst case outcomes as you pursue those goals around dating. So now let's talk

[12:18] about setting the anti- goals associated with those bad outcomes. So the anti- goals associated with those bad outcomes. Never let work supersede romantic connection. Never allow yourself to be stuck on the apps but failing to see people in real life. Never hide your true intentions, your true core values, the things you find meaningful. And finally, never go on dates without doing the proper vetting to make sure that they are going to create energy in your life. The goals and anti- goals associated with the social relationships, your friends and family, and also the romantic connection are super important for living an overall truly wealthy life. I've experienced that in my own life. So, I

[13:05] hope that these goals and anti- goals that we talked through for both of those arenas help you crush this goal in 2026. 61 to 79% of resolution makers set a financial goal every year. It's consistently the number one category across New Year's resolution studies globally. Everyone wants more money. It represents freedom, safety, optionality, and everything else. So, why do so many people fail at this goal? And worse, how do many appear to make their lives miserable while chasing it? Setting anti- goals will a give you a greater shot at achieving your money goals by the end of the year and b ensure you're not miserable while doing it. So, let's

[13:51] run through the framework. Step one, choose your arena. In this case, the arena is obvious. money, finances, income, wealth. Step two, set traditional goals. Here are a few of the most common goals everyone seems to set. Save $10,000. Pay off all your credit card debt. Hit a six-f figureure salary. Build an emergency fund. Invest 15% of your income. They're clear. They're measurable. They feel motivating. But on their own, they're incomplete. Step three, invert the problem. Now, zoom forward to the end of the year. Two potential bad outcomes could happen here. Number one, you didn't make more money. And number two, you did make more

[14:43] money, but you were miserable doing it. It harmed your life. So, now we ask, what could lead to that first bad outcome? Expecting a raise without adding new value or more effort beyond your 9to-5. Burning every weekend on parties and distractions. Letting lifestyle creep quietly erase every financial gain. Locking into fixed costs that reduce

[15:09] freedom and flexibility. Then ask the harder question. What about the second bad outcome? What does it look like to hit the goal and still feel like a failure? Saying yes to toxic clients just to hit your new number. Achieving the goal number yet still feeling like you're behind or not enough. Feeling a pit of anxiety every time you swipe your card. Watching your income grow while your peace, health, and relationships shrink. Okay, that

[15:42] brings us to step four, anti- goals. Now, let's take those inverted fears and turn them into our non-negotiable set of rules, the money anti- goals. Number one, never expect a raise without earning it. Create value beyond the job description. Number two, never sacrifice your weekends for escapism. Three, never take on a fixed cost that limits my freedom. And four, never work so hard that I lose touch with my joy, rest, family, or health. Traditional goals set your direction. Anti- goals give you the map of the rapids coming up. They'll increase the likelihood that you achieve the end goal, and they'll ensure you arrive [music] with your happiness and

[16:31] your relationships intact. Because success isn't just about the amount you earn. It's about the freedom you created while earning it. There is one big trap that people fall into when setting goals and anti- goals. It is not accounting for chaos. You are not always going to be perfect. You're going to have slip ups along the way. You're not just going to have 365 days in a row of perfection when it comes to goals and anti- goals. So, we need systems that allow us to navigate those ups and downs, that allow us to navigate some of those slip ups that

[17:09] we're going to have on the journey. That's what we're going to talk through now. Three simple systems that you can use to navigate those slip ups and continue making forward progress. The three systems to account for chaos. Number one, the two-day rule. The idea here is that it is perfectly okay to miss one day, but you can never miss two. So if you have that slip up, just make sure that you bounce back and get back on track the next day. This is actually proven by science. There's plenty of scientific research that shows that missing a single day did not derail habit building, but missing two days

[17:45] did. So never miss two days in a row. That's the first one, the two-day rule. The second one, anything above zero compounds. Highly ambitious, high performing people have one significant flaw. They constantly allow optimal to get in the way of beneficial. We say things like, "I don't have an hour to work out today, so I'm just not going to work out." Or, "I don't have two hours for deep work, so I'm just going to send emails instead." When the truth is that the 15-minute walk is infinitely better than doing nothing. 15 minutes of deep work is infinitely better than doing

[18:19] nothing. Anything above zero compounds. So if you don't have the space in your day for the perfect routine, the perfect system, the perfect habit, still do some tiny thing because anything above zero compounds. And that relates to the third system, which is a way to actually implement that idea of number two. I call it my ABC goal system. For any goal, any system that you're trying to push forward in your life, set an A, B, and C level for that daily system. The A might be the optimal. I'm going to go

[18:54] work out for an hour every single day. That's the best case scenario when I feel great and when everything's lining up. The B is my baseline. That might just be a 30 minute workout outside. And the C is going to be my minimum viable level, the anything above zero compounds level. It could just be a 5 minute walk around the block or a 15-minute walk after lunch. The tiny thing done well is going to stack and compound in your

[19:19] life. Anything above zero compounds. Small things become big things. All of these tools share one thing in common. They help you build the identity of consistency. And that plus setting the anti- goals that we talked about during this video is by far the easiest way to achieve the goals you have for yourself in 2026. Good luck and as always, until

[19:45] next time, stay curious, friends.

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